8.04 Bitten (transcript)

SUPERNATURAL

8.04 Bitten

Written by: Robbie Thompson

Directed by: Thomas J. Wright

Air Date: 24 October 2012

NOW

INT. – HOUSE – DAY

“What’s the Matter” by Milo Greene plays.

Blood is splattered over the walls and furnishings. A body with a badly wounded leg lies on the ground and another body is covered with a sheet.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ What's the matter? ♪

♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪

♪ What's the matter? ♪

♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪

SAM and DEAN enter, guns drawn.

♪ Oh, your love is never good enough ♪

SAM checks the body under the sheet and DEAN goes upstairs.

♪ Oh, your love is lost on me ♪

DEAN removes an iPod from its docking station, stopping the music.

DEAN
Rest of the place is clear.

SAM
Yeah. Uh... no ID on this one. Um... and no clue who is painted on the walls.

DEAN
Well, whatever happened, looks like we missed it.

SAM
Yeah. Great. Wait a second.

SAM points to a half-open laptop with a post-it note that says “Play me” stuck to the lid.

DEAN
What the hell?

DEAN fully opens the lid of the laptop, and he and SAM sit down in front of it. DEAN clicks on an icon that says “Play Me.” An application opens and “This should never have ended this way” appears on the screen.

SUPERNATURAL (Title Card)

ACT ONE

[In a departure from the usual format, the credits are not shown at the start of Act One.]

INT. – HOUSE – DAY

SAM and DEAN are sitting in front of the laptop. The screen still reads “This should never have ended this way.” The screen goes blank and the camera zooms in on the screen.

MAN 1 (V-O)
Hey, Christopher Nolan.

MAN 2 (V-O)
Yeah?

MAN 1 (V-O)
Lens cap.

MAN 2 (V-O)
Oh…

INT. – CAFÉ – DAY

Through a hand-held camera, we see a young man (MICHAEL - MAN 1) sitting at a table in a café. The camera then turns on the face of a second young man (BRIAN - MAN 2), who appears to be holding the camera.

BRIAN
…crap. Damn.

BRIAN points the camera back at MICHAEL.

MICHAEL
Strong work, genius.

BRIAN
Dude, I have no idea what to make this movie about. And I'm, like – I'm A/V Club President, so, you know, it's got to be good.

MICHAEL
Here. Give me that.

The screen goes black for a moment as MICHAEL grabs the camera. He then points the camera at BRIAN.

MICHAEL
I'll tell you what...

BRIAN
You're gonna make it?

MICHAEL
...you're gonna make it about.

BRIAN
Okay.

MICHAEL points the camera at himself.

MICHAEL
In a world where nothing is what it seems... [BRIAN laughs] ...one brave, shockingly handsome, virile young man [He points the camera at BRIAN] and his faithful, learning-disabled...

BRIAN
Oh, no.

MICHAEL
... robotic manservant must battle through waves [He points the camera at other male students in the café] of cybernetic asshats in order to sexually liberate [He points the camera at a group of female students] the women of –

BRIAN
[smiling] Okay. Give me that. Give me that.

MICHAEL
Oh, please. I bet at least one of these girls would let you partake in their awkward-guy experimental phase.

BRIAN
What? These girls?

MICHAEL
Yep.

BRIAN
Okay. [He zooms the camera in on the female students.] Hashtag fails. [He moves the focus from one girl to another.] Homeschooled. Secretly in love with her roommate. Listens to country music. Oh, dude, dude. 12:00, blonde. Wait. [The blonde girl, KATE, gets up.] Is she – oh, crap, crap. Dude, take it, take it. Just take it.

MICHAEL
[quietly] I don't want to take it.

KATE walks over to BRIAN and MICHAEL. MICHAEL is holding the camera.

KATE
Were you just filming me?

MICHAEL
No. Uh, I wouldn't do that.

KATE is holding another camera and filming MICHAEL.

KATE
Does it have the new firmware?

MICHAEL
Uh, yes. Yes, it does.

KATE
How's it handle?

MICHAEL and KATE exchange cameras.

MICHAEL
You tell me.

KATE
Well, your settings are way off.

BRIAN
Oh, I-I like the way the colors – you probably don't care about that.

KATE
[filming MICHAEL] Yeah, so, you weren't checking me out?

MICHAEL
[filming KATE] Well, I do have a thing for beautiful women who respect their privacy. Uh, dick move on my part. I'm sorry.

KATE
Don't be. I have a thing for guys with cool cameras.

INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT

BRIAN is sitting at a desk in front of several computers. Giggling can be heard behind closed doors in another room. KATE, wearing only a T-shirt, enters and walks through to the bathroom.

INT. – CAFÉ – DAY

KATE
No, no, no. Look, it's a great movie, but of the two, I-I prefer "Last Year at Marienbad." You know?

BRIAN
Yeah. It's a classic.

BRIAN is filming KATE.

KATE
How do you like that lens?

BRIAN
It's good. Yeah, yeah. It's lighter for sure.

KATE
That's good.

BRIAN
You know, uh, Michael knows nothing about cameras, right?

KATE
Yeah. But, uh, I'm teaching him.

MICHAEL walks up to the table carrying a coffee.

MICHAEL
Teaching who?

KATE
Oh, my boyfriend. [MICHAEL sits down next to KATE.] He's, uh, big, tall, and handsome.

MICHAEL
Mm. Sounds delish.

KATE
Yeah, you should totally meet him.

MICHAEL
Yeah?

KATE
Mm-hmm.

MICHAEL and KATE kiss.

INT. – HOUSE – DAY

BRIAN is sitting at the desk.

KATE
Let's see. Five years from now? Hopefully passed the bar exam, practicing law. [BRIAN turns a camera around to film KATE and MICHAEL, who are on the sofa. MICHAEL is lying down with his head in KATE’s lap.] Nothing corporate, something, uh... something green, you know?

BRIAN
Green is good.

MICHAEL
Hippie.

KATE
Oh, shut up.

CUT TO:

KATE is filming BRIAN.

BRIAN
Oh, geez. Uh, maybe, like, working for HBO or – or, like, Michael Moore. That'd be cool.

KATE
Yeah.

MICHAEL
Double hippie.

BRIAN
Whatever.

MICHAEL
I will be on a boat in the middle of the ocean with my beautiful girl by my side.

KATE
Aww... sap.

MICHAEL
And you can come, too.

KATE
Nice. See what you just did there?

MICHAEL and KATE kiss.

INT. – COLLEGE LECTURE ROOM – DAY

PROFESSOR
...display of that, let's make sure we put our hand up first next time.

MICHAEL appears to be asleep in the audience. KATE, who is sitting in the row behind him, fondles MICHAEL’s hair.

PROFESSOR
All right, brains, let's get our pens and pencils out. It's time for notes. So, let's turn our attention to our cruelly nicknamed friend Piggy. [We see a close-up of a pin on the PROFESSOR’s jacket.] He uses his glasses to create fire, the sun dial. [A slide on the screen at the front of the room reads “Lord of the Flies, 1st Year Eng Lit.”] He's also rational. He inhabits rational thought on the island.

EXT. – COLLEGE CAMPUS – DAY

BRIAN is filming himself, MICHAEL and KATE.

MICHAEL
What'd I miss?

KATE
Just another pitch-perfect lecture from Professor Ludensky.

BRIAN
Yeah.

KATE
Do you know Simon was a Christ figure?

MICHAEL
Yeah. No. [to BRIAN] Please tell me you taped it.

BRIAN
Come on. Who loves you?

MICHAEL
Aww. I wish I could quit you.

BRIAN
Yeah, right. Yeah.

Another student, SCOTT, walks between them and knocks the camera to the ground.

KATE
Oh, hey.

MICHAEL
Watch it, asshat!

SCOTT
What'd you call me?

SCOTT’S FRIEND
Come on. Let's move. I want to see it.

BRIAN
[Looking at the camera] Oh, man.

CUT TO:

MICHAEL, KATE and BRIAN are walking. We hear police sirens.

BRIAN
Hey, can you shoot some of this for my movie?

KATE
Is that legal?

MICHAEL
Who cares?

A body covered with a bloodstained sheet lies behind a police line. The IMPALA pulls up.

BRIAN
Yeah, that's not good.

KATE
Someone got murdered on campus? You guys live two blocks from here.

SAM and DEAN, dressed in suits, get out of the IMPALA.

BRIAN
Look, look, look. Starsky and Hutch. [He laughs.]

MICHAEL
Rizzoli and Isles.

SAM
Special Agent Rose, and this is Special Agent Hudson. [SAM and DEAN show their badges.]

DETECTIVE
What the hell are you guys doing here?

DEAN
Our jobs. You want to tell us what's going on?

DETECTIVE
Whatever you say, boss. Got a call from a woman that lives upstairs. Said, uh, she heard an attack, came down, found her neighbor here. Jacob Carter.

BRIAN
Who'd he say?

KATE
Uh, Jacob Carter? I don't know.

SAM
Well, is the witness still home?

DETECTIVE
Sure is. She's not the most reliable type. She said she heard some kind of growl, like there was a coyote down here.

DEAN
Awesome.

INT. – HOUSE – DAY

KATE is on the sofa filming with the camera.

KATE
So, the FBI is here. Your neighbor got murdered, but you're totally cool.

BRIAN
No. It's not – it's not that I'm cool. It's just that, like... [He comes out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth, holding another camera.] I mean, then it's good that the FBI are here, right?

KATE
That – that is so annoyingly logical.

MICHAEL
Hey, baby. Listen.

MICHAEL puts an iPod into a docking station. “What’s the Matter” by Milo Greene plays.

♪ Oh, your love is lost on me ♪

KATE
Oh. It's pretty. What is it?

MICHAEL
It's the song that was playing when we first met.

♪ What's the matter? ♪

KATE
Aww. You are so disgustingly sweet.

♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪

MICHAEL and KATE kiss.

BRIAN
You ready?

MICHAEL
Yeah.

BRIAN
Cool.

MICHAEL
I got to go.

♪ What's the matter with you lately? ♪

KATE
What? So, you just foam the runway with our song and then you got to head out the door?

MICHAEL
[filming KATE with a camera] I promised I'd help him test the new cameras.

KATE
Don't give me that crap. I know you two idiots are gonna go shoot cut scenes for "Jackass."

MICHAEL
Come on. We both know he has nobody else to do this with. Rain check.

KATE
Whatever. You're dead to me.

MICHAEL and KATE kiss.

♪ Oh, your love is lost on me ♪

EXT. – COLLEGE CAMPUS – NIGHT

MICHAEL and BRIAN are filming near a sports field.

MICHAEL
Do something cool.

BRIAN
Dude, this tree is awesome. Hang on. [He climbs up into the tree.] Maybe I could – maybe I could... get upside down and –

MICHAEL
No, no, I said cool.

BRIAN
Ha ha.

MICHAEL
This is stupid.

BRIAN
Can you get – can you see me? Gonna try and get – is this cool? [He hangs upside down.] 'Cause, man, it feels pretty cool.

MICHAEL
It's like "Dumb & Dumber 3." Ha ha ha. Okay.

BRIAN
Wait, dude, dude, dude, dude.

SAM and DEAN, in their FBI suits, are interviewing a couple on the street nearby.

MICHAEL
What?

BRIAN
Turn around. Turn around.

MICHAEL
What?

BRIAN
Turn. It's those FBI guys.

MICHAEL
What?

BRIAN
Help – help me down this tree. Help me out of the tree.

SAM
Oh, all right. Well, thank you, guys, very much for your help. You're free to go.

The couple leaves and MICHAEL or BRIAN’s camera zooms in on SAM and DEAN.

SAM
All right. There is not a case here.

DEAN
There is a case here. You're rusty. We just got to dig a little deeper. Come on.

DEAN walks towards the IMPALA and after a moment SAM follows him.

BRIAN
Dude, it's so crazy.

MICHAEL
Is it just me or are you getting a workplace-romance vibe from those two?

BRIAN
Let's go.

MICHAEL
Yeah.

MICHAEL and BRIAN walk along the outside of the sports field. Two people are kissing near the bleachers.

MICHAEL
Come here, come here. Look, look, look, look, look, look.

BRIAN
[whispering] What? [He sees the people kissing. One of them is SCOTT, who knocked into them earlier.] Oh, no. Yes.

MICHAEL
D-bags mating in the wild. [They laugh.]

BRIAN
Okay, go, go, go, go, go.

MICHAEL
Yeah.

They move closer and keep filming. The GIRL whom SCOTT is kissing pushes his arms away.

GIRL
Oh! Stop. Stop! [She shoves him and leaves.]

SCOTT
Hey!

BRIAN
Oh, ho, ho. Strike three.

SCOTT
Come on!

BRIAN
You're a dick.

SCOTT
What's your problem?!

BRIAN
This is gonna look great on YouTube.

BRIAN drops his camera.

BRIAN
Oh. Oh, crap.

MICHAEL
Oh, crap.

SCOTT
Hey! What the hell?!

BRIAN
Oh, crap, crap. Oh, God. [He runs and the SCOTT runs after him.]

MICHAEL
Hey, Brian, Brian! Meet me at Scott's mother's house! [The SCOTT turns and runs after MICHAEL instead.] Oh, God.

SCOTT
Oh, come on. I paid her fair and square, man!

MICHAEL runs down a park path. He turns his camera on himself, breathing heavily.

MICHAEL
[into the camera] Thanks for a great night out, Bri.

A growling noise comes from the trees.

MICHAEL
Hello? Hello? Scott, cut it out, man! [There is more growling.] Oh, God. Oh, God. [He screams and climbs a tree. There is more growling and more screaming.]

BRIAN
Hey, Michael. You can come out now, dude. Scott looked for us for a while but bailed. [He finds MICHAEL’s camera on the ground.] Mike? [He hears heavy breathing nearby.] Mike? [He finds MICHAEL lying on the ground.] Dude. Oh, my God. Dude. Michael. You okay, man?

MICHAEL
I'm okay.

BRIAN
What happened?

MICHAEL
I don't know. I don't know. [He has a shoulder wound.]

BRIAN
Oh, God.

INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT

BRIAN
Kate!

BRIAN helps MICHAEL onto the sofa.

KATE
Oh, my God! Baby, baby, baby, baby!

BRIAN
Something bit Michael.

KATE
Oh baby. Okay.

BRIAN
Oh, my God.

MICHAEL
What is it? Is it bad? Brian. Kate. Is it bad?

BRIAN
The bite – the bite's gone.

KATE phones for help.

WOMAN’S VOICE ON PHONE
911. What's your emergency?

KATE
Did – did you dicks just punk me?

WOMAN’S VOICE ON PHONE
Is anybody there? Hello?

KATE hangs up.

BRIAN
It's completely gone.

KATE
Baby, it's okay. Hey, hey, hey. Honey, it's okay. It's okay. Babe.

INT. – HOUSE – DAY

BRIAN and KATE are sitting at the table.

BRIAN
[whispering] The doctor said he's gonna be fine. You heard him. Literally not a scratch on the kid.

BRIAN is asleep on the sofa.

KATE
If anything happens to Michael, I-I don't know what I would do.

BRIAN
Shh. It's okay.

MICHAEL wakes. BRIAN and KATE put their heads down on the table and pretend to be asleep. MICHAEL walks through the room to the bathroom and pulls the door off its hinges. BRIAN and KATE jump.

KATE
What? Baby.

MICHAEL
Uh...

BRIAN
Did you just pull that off?

KATE
Whoa. Whoa.

BRIAN films MICHAEL holding something over his head and laughing.

BRIAN
Okay. Okay, okay. Now – now one-handed.

The camera pans out and we see that he is holding KATE horizontally over his head, now with one hand. KATE giggles and shrieks.

BRIAN
Oh, my God!

MICHAEL
Stay still, stay still, stay still.

BRIAN
Dude, whoa!

MICHAEL drops KATE into his arms and they laugh and kiss.

CUT TO:

BRIAN is using a computer.

KATE
Maybe you got bit by an alien. That would explain the FBI.

BRIAN
Or maybe a mutant bit you.

MICHAEL
Am I a superhero now?

KATE
Baby.

INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT

BRIAN appears to be setting up equipment in various places in the house.

KATE
What are you doing?

BRIAN
What do you think I'm doing? I finally found my movie.

KATE
What? Michael? Michael is not your movie. We don't even know what happened to him.

BRIAN
Exactly. I'm gonna get Michael's origin story on-camera.

CUT TO:

MICHAEL is sitting at the kitchen table putting peanut butter on a bagel.

MICHAEL
You're kind of creeping me out, man. Seriously, nothing superheroic to see here. Just a delicious bagel.

BRIAN
Hey, man, I have this idea. It's gonna sound really weird, but don't laugh, okay?

MICHAEL
No promises.

BRIAN
I, um... I really want to be able to do what you do. So I-I think maybe we could go back out there and get that thing to bite me, and then we could both be superheroes.

MICHAEL
Stop! What? Are you serious?

BRIAN
Michael, you can't keep this to yourself.

MICHAEL
Keep what to myself? We don't even know what this thing is. Why the hell would you want it?

BRIAN
Michael... I don't – I don't want to be Piggy anymore, man.

MICHAEL
You're – you're not a pig, man. Brian, listen to me. There's nothing wrong with you. You've just got to figure out what it is you want and go after it. I'm telling you – you don't want this.

BRIAN
Right, 'cause I don't want to be super-strong or have a prayer of getting any ass this year or... Please, please.

MICHAEL
No, man! No.

CUT TO:

BRIAN is using the computer at the desk. There is a knock at the door. MICHAEL and KATE are on the sofa.

MICHAEL
Not it.

KATE
Not it.

BRIAN
Children. [He goes to the front door.] Dudes, dudes, dudes. It's the FBI.

MICHAEL
What?

BRIAN
It's the FBI.

MICHAEL
No. What? Oh.

MICHAEL picks up a bong and starts to put it behind the sofa.

KATE
Baby, what are you doing?

MICHAEL runs out of the room with the bong. KATE picks up a camera. BRIAN opens the door. SAM and DEAN hold up their badges.

SAM
Hi, there.

BRIAN
Hi.

SAM
Special Agents Rose and Hudson. We wanted to ask you a few questions about the murder that occurred a few blocks from here. [KATE is filming SAM and DEAN via a window.] First off, did you know the victim, Jacob Carter?

BRIAN
Um, no, not really.

DEAN
Do you remember anything unusual about that night?

BRIAN
Not that I recall.

SAM
Right. Well, uh, heard about anyone in the neighborhood getting, uh – getting bit? Humor me.

BRIAN
No, I-I don't think so.

SAM
All right. Well, no worries. How about this? If you hear anything strange... call us. [He hands BRIAN a card.] No matter how late. [BRIAN nods.] Thanks.

BRIAN
Thank you. [He closes the door.]

DEAN
So, what do you think?

SAM
Well, based on what we've got so far, we could be dealing with another Mayan god.

DEAN
Ah, that's fantastic, 'cause the other one was such a joy.

SAM
Yeah. Campus dormitories?

DEAN
Yeah.

SAM and DEAN walk down the porch stairs towards the IMPALA.

CUT TO:

MICHAEL comes back into the main room carrying the bong.

BRIAN
The FBI are looking for what bit you. Are you an X-file?

KATE
No. He's not an X-file. Listen.

KATE plays back the film she took of SAM and DEAN.

SAM
...So far, we could be dealing with another Mayan god.

MICHAEL
I'm a golden god. [They all laugh.] I am a golden god! Ha ha, whoo!

KATE
You guys are ridiculous.

INT. – HOUSE – NIGHT

KATE is asleep in bed. MICHAEL gets up and goes into the bathroom. He films himself looking at his reflection in the mirror.

MICHAEL
I am a golden god. I am a god.

MICHAEL’s irises and pupils enlarge and then go back to normal.

MICHAEL
Huh?

MICHAEL groans as he develops long canine teeth. He groans again as his fingernails lengthen into claws. He growls and punches the mirror.

CUT TO:

MICHAEL returns to the bedroom and gently strokes KATE’s cheek with his clawed hand.

CUT TO:

In the kitchen, MICHAEL takes an Asian food take-out box from the fridge and eats with chopsticks at the table.

CUT TO:

More take-out containers and wrappers are on the table. MICHAEL opens a beer. He takes a bite of a burger and knocks over his beer.

CUT TO:

Even more take-out containers and wrappers litter the table and floor. MICHAEL grabs a jacket and heads for the door.

EXT. – COLLEGE CAMPUS – NIGHT

Three students are at the edge of the sports field, being filmed by a fourth.

SCOTT
What's up, BVC? [He films himself.] It's Scotty P. patrolling with the Oak Hill crew – Doug... [He points the camera at a student who holds a hockey stick] Evan... [who holds a cricket bat] Tucker [who holds a baseball bat]. See, some animal killed a local citizen, so we're out here tonight making sure these streets are safe for all you fine honeys out there, all right? Let's fan out, boys.

EVAN (?)
All right.

DOUG (?)
Let's go.

SCOTT’s camera films MICHAEL, who is carrying two full plastic bags.

SCOTT
Yo!

MICHAEL
Back off, douche-wheel. Not tonight.

SCOTT
[filming himself] Ooh. Oh. Ooh, I'm so scared. Listen...

We hear the plastic bags hit the ground and SCOTT films them.

SCOTT
What... what the...?

MICHAEL is running away down a tree-lined path.

SCOTT
Yeah, I got you now, you piece of...

SCOTT runs after MICHAEL.

SCOTT
Why don’t you come take your beating like a man?

SCOTT looks for MICHAEL among trees and bushes in a park.

SCOTT
If you won't come out and play, I'll go visit that little piece of yours. Kate? Yeah, I'll got visit Katie, show her what a real man – [He hears a strange noise.] Michael? [He hears loud breathing.] Dude, do you think this is funny?! Come on! Cut it out.

With a growl, MICHAEL bursts from some nearby foliage. He has long teeth and claws. The screen goes black as SCOTT screams.