7.14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie (Transcript)
7.14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie
Written by: Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin
Directed by: Mike Rohl
Air Date: 10 February 2012
Contents
NOW
EXT. – NIGHT
SAM runs around a corner and hides behind a vehicle in a deserted light industrial area.
SAM:
[out loud to himself] It's okay. They can't hurt you. They can't hurt you. "If it bleeds, you can kill it." Yeah. "If it bleeds, you can kill it."
SAM looks over the vehicle and sees a clown with green hair, yellow pants and a red jacket standing a short distance away. The clown laughs and runs towards SAM, who runs first towards a high fence and then to a door. The clown runs after him, raising its knees exaggeratedly high with each stride. SAM breaks open the door and bolts it behind him.
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
SAM moves some metal objects in front of the door and looks around the building, which is a large garage or workshop. He hears a crash behind him and turns to see the clown coming through the door, laughing. SAM starts to walk away from the first clown, but another clown, which is also laughing, has appeared in front of him. SAM stops and the second clown zooms closer.
Splotches of red, blue and green morph into the:
SUPERNATURAL (Title Card)
Colored glitter falls from the title.
ACT ONE
EXT. PARK OR REST AREA PARKING LOT – DAY
SAM is leaning against a Jeep reading a newspaper.
Timestamp on screen:
60:00:00 Earlier
59:59:59 Earlier
59:59:58 Earlier
59:59:57 Earlier
The phone in a nearby phone booth rings. DEAN answers the phone.
DEAN (on phone):
Hello?
"I am the eggman."
SAM smiles briefly. DEAN rolls his eyes.
DEAN (on phone):
Seriously, Frank, pay phones? I mean, come on. I – I'm getting the clap off this thing just touching it.
Fred Savage? Really?
Yeah, no, I know, big mouths are everywhere.
Uh, well, since you asked, some actual intel on the Dick Roman guy would be nice.
Fine. All right.
Yeah, good looking out.
The phone clicks as FRANK ends the call. DEAN hangs up, scowls at his hand and walks over to SAM.
DEAN:
I hope he finds something quick. This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese.
SAM:
So, we got dick on Dick?
DEAN:
That's a vivid way of putting it. You find anything on Wonder Woman?
SAM:
No. And there probably won't be. They are definitely gone. But...
SAM holds up the Wichita Sun. The headline is “Peculiar death baffles authorities.”
SAM:
...I might have found something over in Kansas.
DEAN:
All right, well, let's do it. But, uh, a few simple rules, okay? No babies.
SAM smiles.
DEAN:
In fact, no baby mamas. No bars. No booze – no hot chicks of any kind.
SAM:
Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say –
DEAN:
Hey. You spawn a monster baby, see how quick you want to dive back in the pool.
DEAN walks over to another car. A sign on a nearby building reads “Welcome to Idaho.”
INT. MORGUE – DAY
A DOCTOR pulls back a sheet from the body of a middle-aged man. The body is covered in circular raised sores of various sizes that appear to have been made by tentacles. DEAN and SAM are wearing their FBI suits.
DEAN:
Ohh. Those are not the fun kind of hickeys.
SAM:
You're – you're saying an octopus did this?
DOCTOR:
Not just any octopus. Based on welt diameter, Enteroctopus dofleini.
DEAN:
And for those of us who skipped the enteroctopus class?
DOCTOR:
Giant Pacific octopus.
DEAN:
How giant we talking, Doc?
DOCTOR:
Approximately 30 feet.
SAM laughs briefly.
SAM:
I mean, aren't... giant octopi rare around here?
DOCTOR:
Yet here we are.
DEAN:
All right, so what happens? Guy comes home, cracks a beer, and gets... suckered to death?
DOCTOR:
Obviously, this was some kind of freak fetish attack. Someone created those hickey marks, then bled the man out.
The DOCTOR turns the dead man’s head to expose a wound on the side of his throat.
SAM and DEAN walk through the hallways.
DEAN:
That bite look a little vamp-y to you?
SAM:
Yeah, no question.
DEAN:
So what are we looking for? An octovamp? A vamptopus?
SAM:
That's crazy even for us, right?
DEAN:
It does push the envelope. Let's go chat up the widow.
INT. WIDOW’S HOUSE – DAY
SAM:
We're very sorry for your loss, ma'am.
DEAN:
Mrs. Harper, we know this is, uh, bad timing. But we just have a few routine questions that we need to ask you – is that okay?
MRS HARPER, SAM and DEAN are seated around a coffee table. MRS HARPER is holding a Kleenex. SAM and DEAN have cups of coffee.
MRS HARPER:
Yeah.
SAM:
Did the house feel any different lately?
MRS HARPER:
Different...?
DEAN:
Anything strange. Cold spots. Uh, did you smell anything weird? Maybe sulfury?
MRS HARPER:
No. Not that I can remember.
DEAN:
Okay, we're just ticking all the boxes here. Um, what about any skeletons in your husband's closet?
MRS HARPER:
Skeletons? What do you mean?
DEAN:
Can you think of anybody who would want to do him harm? A colleague, an old flame.
SAM:
The tiniest detail could really help.
MRS HARPER:
You want to know what he was up to lately? Ask Stacey. She was here the night he died.
SAM:
Um... Stacey?
MRS HARPER:
Our nanny. Any other questions?
DEAN:
No, that's... Thank you. You've been a big help.
DEAN and SAM get up to leave.
SAM:
Really appreciate the hospitality, ma'am.
A little girl watches from the top of the stairs as DEAN and SAM leave the house.
EXT. MRS HARPER’S HOUSE – DAY
DEAN:
Mom, dad, nanny – boy, that is a love triangle right out of Casa Erotica. 'Course, in those, the jealous wife tends to channel her feelings more productively.
SAM:
The only thing I can't wrap my mind around is –
DEAN:
What, how wife lady summoned an octovamp?
SAM:
More like "why?" I mean, kind of impractical, right?
DEAN:
Yeah. All right, one of us needs to go talk to the naughty nanny.
DEAN walks around to the driver’s side of the car.
DEAN:
The other one stay here, shake down the place when the wife leaves – see what we're dealing with.
SAM:
All right. I'm on the nanny.
DEAN:
I'm on the nanny.
SAM:
I thought you said no hot chicks.
DEAN:
We don't know that she's hot.
SAM gives DEAN a look and walks off.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
DEAN:
Now, uh, how would you describe your relationship with the deceased?
NANNY:
I don't know. Normal, I guess.
DEAN:
Normal?
NANNY:
Well, I mostly dealt with Debra. There was nothing going on, if that's what you mean.
DEAN:
Debra said that you were at the house late the night that, uh, that Brian died.
NANNY:
Yeah. Brian was working late, so I stayed with Kelly. She was pretty upset.
DEAN:
Why's that?
NANNY:
Well, it was her birthday. We had a party at Plucky's.
DEAN:
Plucky's. Why does that sound familiar?
NANNY:
Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie? Pizza chain for kids. Actually, more for lazy parents. Anyway, her dad showed up for five minutes, then he went back to work. And, of course, her mom was out of town. This stupid kid told Kelly her folks didn't really love her. She freaked. I was calming her down for hours.
DEAN:
Uh, did you...notice anything weird at the house?
NANNY:
Weird like...?
DEAN:
Anything. Even a bad feeling.
NANNY:
No, nothing like that. Actually, Kelly does have a weird thing about closets. But it's just kid stuff.
DEAN:
Try me.
NANNY:
She thinks there's a monster in her closet. It drives everyone crazy.
EXT. STREET – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
Hey, we talked to the wrong person.
SAM (on phone, V-O):
What?
DEAN (on phone):
Yeah, forget the mom. Talk to the daughter. She's mad at her dad for ditching her birthday.
SAM (on phone, V-O):
So, what do you think? A birthday wish gone wrong, something like that?
DEAN (on phone):
I don't know. It could be.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE MRS HARPER’S HOUSE – DAY
SAM is in the Jeep watching KELLY draw in chalk on the footpath outside the house.
SAM (on phone):
I got a 20 on her right now.
DEAN (on phone, V-O):
Can you get to her without tripping the AMBER Alert?
SAM (on phone):
I'll try.
EXT. STREET – DAY
DEAN is about to get in the car.
DEAN (on phone):
All right, see what you can find out.
EXT. OUTSIDE MRS HARPER’S HOUSE – DAY
KELLY is drawing what appears to be an octopus on the footpath outside the house.
SAM:
Whatcha working on there?
KELLY:
I know who you are.
SAM:
You do?
KELLY:
Mm-hmm. You're the guy that talked to my mom.
SAM:
That's right. I did.
MRS HARPER:
[from inside house] Kelly! Where are you, honey?
SAM:
Something wrong?
KELLY:
My mom will get mad if I talk to you.
SAM crouches down in front of KELLY.
SAM:
Um... How come?
KELLY:
Because of what I told the police.
SAM:
And what did you tell the police?
KELLY:
I told them that I tried to warn my dad. That the monster would get him.
MRS HARPER opens the front door.
MRS HARPER:
Kelly. Come here! Now! Kelly!
KELLY runs into the house. MRS HARPER looks unsmilingly at SAM and closes the door. SAM looks at the picture KELLY drew: an octopus with sharp teeth and an unfriendly expression. The camera pans in on the octopus’s face.
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
A man wearing a bathrobe is running through the park, looking over his shoulder. He is being chased by a small white horse or pony. We see only its body, legs and the lower half of its head. It neighs. The man scales a fence and stands panting on the other side. After a moment, he leans close to the fence to listen for hoofbeats and then presses his back against the fence. He is impaled through the chest by what appears to be a horn. The horn withdraws and the man falls to the ground, dead. Over the fence, we see that the pony has a horn: it is a unicorn. A light runs up the horn from the base to the tip and there is a twinkling sound. The unicorn paws, rears, neighs and then canters away, with rainbows shooting from its tail.
ACT TWO
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
Timestamp: NOW
The second clown approaches SAM, clapping its hands once.
CLOWN:
Aah! Ha!
SAM punches the second clown, then does a backwards kick at the first clown.
SAM:
"If it bleeds, you can kill it."
SAM points his gun at the second clown as it laughs. He shoots the clown twice, sending glitter flying. The clown appears uninjured. Both clowns laugh. The second clown knocks the gun out of SAM’s hand and punches him three times, sending SAM reeling towards the first clown. The first clown pushes SAM at the second clown, which catches SAM and holds him for the first clown to headbutt. Both clowns laugh maniacally.
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN, wearing his FBI suit, examines the hole made in the fence by the unicorn’s horn. An ambulance and a CSI officer are at the scene, and police siren wails.
Timestamp:
36:36:08 Earlier
36:36:07 Earlier
36:36:06 Earlier
36:36:05 Earlier
36:36:04 Earlier
DEAN:
Huh.
[to POLICE OFFICER] Hey. Um... Okay, so, the horse I get. The hoofprints, the jumping over the fence. But, uh, what ran him through?
POLICE OFFICER:
Best thing I could tell you is something big.
DEAN:
So, what, like a lance?
The POLICE OFFICER shrugs. The deceased man’s body, covered with a sheet, is rolled towards the ambulance on a stretcher. A woman is standing next to the ambulance.
POLICE OFFICER:
It's sad. Lady's got to pull her friggin' 8-year-old out of school and tell him his dad's dead.
DEAN:
Excuse me.
DEAN walks towards the woman, who is being escorted away by another officer, and holds up his FBI badge.
DEAN:
Excuse me, ma'am? Agent Jones, FBI.
WIDOW:
I'm sorry. I - I really need to go.
DEAN:
Okay. Uh, just one quick question, if you don't mind. Um, was yesterday your son's birthday?
WIDOW:
Billy's birthday? No. Why would you ask that?
DEAN:
Nothing. Never mind.
WIDOW:
Oh. But... his father did take him to a friend's birthday party yesterday.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM’s phone rings.
SAM (on phone):
Hey.
DEAN (on phone, V-O):
Hey. You remember a chain called Plucky Pennywhistle's?
SAM (on phone):
[after a pause] No.
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
Really? Could have swore you loved those places.
SAM (on phone, V-O):
No, dude, I hated them.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM (on phone):
Uh, you would dump me and go trolling for chicks.
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
It's not like I left you in jail. I mean, those places are supposed to be fun.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM (on phone):
Fun? Uh, they're lame. And they smell like puke. And the ice cream is all grainy.
DEAN (on phone, V-O):
All right, don't have one of your episodes, okay?
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
I'm just saying I hit a dead end with this whole wishes-gone-wild thing, but both kids were at Plucky's day of. Look, why don't you go check out the local Plucky's...
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
DEAN (on phone, V-O):
...and ask about this Billy kid?
SAM (on phone):
Look, man, w-why don't I just... why don't I just wait for you to get back?
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
No can do, Hermano. I'm on my way to talk to little Billy.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM (on phone):
Why – why – why don't I talk to Billy right now?
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
[laughs] Wait, wait, wait. This isn't about your, uh, your clown thing, is it?
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM (on phone):
What?!
EXT. PARK – DAY
SAM (on phone, V-O):
No!
DEAN (on phone):
Sammy?
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM (on phone):
No.
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
Yeah, what in the world did they do to you?
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
DEAN (on phone, V-O):
All right, you know what? Never mind. Just know that 99.99%...
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
...of all clowns can't hurt you.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
DEAN (on phone, V-O):
Okay? And if it bleeds...
EXT. PARK – DAY
DEAN (on phone):
...you can kill it.
DEAN shakes his head and hangs up.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
SAM:
[whispering to himself] "If it bleeds, you can kill it."
EXT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – DAY
A sign on the awning of the building reads “Where all your dreams are good!” SAM is sitting in the Jeep.
SAM:
I'm too old for this.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – DAY
SAM enters. A recorded message says “Welcome to Plucky Pennywhistle’s! Have fun!” SAM flinches at a large picture of a clown on a wall and exhales sharply. He walks to the ticket counter, which is manned by a staff member, HOWARD. He passes a mechanical clown that laughs and says “Welcome to Plucky Pennywhistle’s!” as its jaw moves. SAM eyes it several times.
HOWARD:
Welcome to Plucky’s, where all your dreams are good.
SAM:
Could you just, uh, maybe...
SAM holds up his FBI badge.
SAM:
...just get the manager for me?
HOWARD nods and walks off.
SAM:
Okay.
SAM walks further into the room, past the mechanical clown and a clown-shaped sign that says “You must be THIS TALL to play here.” He appears very uncomfortable. He looks up at a large clown head mounted on a pillar and blinks. A person in a lion costume poses for a photograph. A young WOMAN employee crouches down next to a YOUNG BOY who is seated at a child-sized table.
WOMAN:
I just need you to stay sane for three more hours. Okay? Here. Finish your homework.
The WOMAN walks away. Her name tag reads LIBBY.
YOUNG BOY:
Like I can concentrate in here.
LIBBY pauses, but doesn't turn around.
SAM looks at a wall hung with paper placemats that say “Draw your worst fear... Plucky will make your fear disappear.” The drawings include a shark and various monsters. A name tag on the wall says “Kelly Harper.”
MANAGER:
Real beauties, huh? We rotate them out once a week. Kids love having their art on the wall.
SAM:
"Draw your worst fear"?
The MANAGER’s name tag reads JEAN.
JEAN:
I know. But we don't post the truly evil stuff – just the standard crap like sharks and ghosts.
JEAN holds out a hand to SAM.
JEAN:
Jean Holiday, shift manager.
They shake hands.
SAM:
Johnson, FBI. So tell me – why even ask the kids to draw creepy stuff to begin with?
JEAN:
It's just an exercise... some pop psychologist came up with. Plus, the owner's obsessed with "aiding children's development." So, the place mat is a safe way to get kids to talk about their fears. You know, we get them to sketch it in a little box, and – voila! – Plucky magically transforms it into rainbows and candy. Personally, I think it's a load of hooey, but they say that if these fears run wild, then it affects kids long into their adulthood.
A laughing clown walks between JEAN and SAM and gets very close to SAM’s face. SAM leans back.
SAM:
Yeah, I've – I've – I've heard that. Um... so, I – I don't know if you'll remember, but there was a – a kid in here yesterday named Billy Pogue for a party?
JEAN:
Oh, the conniption kid.
SAM:
Conniption? He – he had –
JEAN:
No, no, no, not him. He was fine. It was his dad. He pulls the kid away before cake and presents, and I guess the kid asked to stay for another five minutes. The dad pulls a full-frontal douchebag, starts screaming. Just embarrassed for the kid.
SAM makes a call on his phone. As he is waiting for it to be answered, a JANITOR whistles to attract his attention.
JANITOR:
Hey. [whistles again] Hey.
The JANITOR looks around to see who is watching. SAM pushes a button to end the call and walks over to the JANITOR.
JANITOR:
You a cop?
SAM:
Uh, yeah. I'm a Fed.
JANITOR:
Uh, what are you investigating?
SAM:
Couple of crazy deaths. Why, is there something you want to share?
JANITOR:
Look – not now. Too many eyes. Come back after closing.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY
DEAN is taking food in paper boxes out of a bag. The boxes have chopsticks attached. SAM enters.
DEAN:
Hey. So, what's the lowdown with trauma town?
SAM makes a face and DEAN smiles.
SAM:
I can tell you this much. Neither vic was up for parent of the year. Kelly's dad skipped her birthday, and Billy's dad pulled one of those Dick Parent scenes that makes everyone cringe.
SAM puts some of the placemats from Plucky Pennywhistle’s down in front of DEAN.
DEAN:
What the hell are these?
SAM:
Kid therapy. Um, you draw your worst nightmare – poof! – Plucky fixes it. Um, they hang them up on this big wall.
DEAN:
Well, can't argue with this. Leprechauns are deadly.
SAM snorts.
DEAN:
Okay, so, Kelly draws a monster, and then that goes after her father? That's what we're saying?
SAM:
Well, here's the thing. They label those. And guess which two were missing. Well, name tag was there – no place mat.
DEAN:
Little Miss Octovamp.
SAM:
Yeah. And... Billy. So... somehow, whatever he drew came to life and killed his dad, riding a horse.
SAM pokes at his food with chopsticks.
DEAN:
Close, but no Seabiscuit. See, I went and had a little chat with Billy. And he drew me this.
DEAN unfolds a piece of paper on which is drawn a unicorn with a rainbow-colored tail. A person is impaled on the unicorn’s horn.
SAM:
Wait. So now unicorns are evil?
DEAN:
Yeah. Obviously.
SAM:
Great. Well, now the question is, how did a unicorn come off a sketch and kill Billy's dad? How's any of this happening?
DEAN rubs his chopsticks together and prepares to eat.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – NIGHT
JEAN is counting money behind the ticket counter. The JANITOR walks past carrying a backpack.
JANITOR:
Well, that's it for me. Guess I'll head out.
JEAN:
Uh, one more thing. Some kid puked in the ball pit. It's gonna need a full sanitization. Do that, and then you can clock out.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BALL PIT – NIGHT
The JANITOR is knee-deep in balls in the ball pit, using a large suction tube to suck up the balls. Something appears to be moving under the balls behind him.
JANITOR:
Aah! Aah.
The JANITOR reaches a hand down to one leg. When he takes his hand away, it is covered with blood. He looks around the ball pit. Something grabs him from behind and pulls him down as he yells. He gets back to his feet. Something moves under the balls in front of him. He flails for the side of the pit, but is dragged back. He tries again to get out and is dragged under the balls. All is still for a few moments, then the JANITOR reappears. He looks frantically in all directions, then is pulled under the balls again. A moment later, blood splashes against the glass wall of the ball pit.
EXT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – NIGHT
DEAN and SAM, wearing casual clothes, arrive in the car DEAN has been driving. Two police cars and an ambulance are outside the building. EMTs wheel the JANITOR’s body, covered with a sheet, out of the building on a stretcher. DEAN holds up his FBI badge.
DEAN:
Hold on one second there, guys.
SAM is talking to JEAN in the background.
SAM:
Keep in touch.
DEAN looks under the sheet.
SAM:
Uh, thank you.
SAM walks over to DEAN.
DEAN:
So?
SAM:
The manager found the body in the ball pit. Blood everywhere.
DEAN:
Cops have a theory?
SAM:
Yeah, they think the ball washer did it.
DEAN:
The what?
SAM:
The... ball washer.
DEAN:
[smiling] The what?
SAM:
The ball –
SAM holds up his hands in frustration.
DEAN:
Look at this.
DEAN lifts the sheet covering the body. SAM raises his eyebrows and inhales.
DEAN:
Thank you, gentlemen.
The EMTs wheel the body away.
DEAN:
That's a shark bite.
SAM:
Yeah.
DEAN:
And, uh, judging from the radius, I'd say a 20-footer, at least.
SAM looks skeptical.
DEAN:
"Shark Week," man. How do you not watch that?
SAM walks away.
DEAN:
Whole week of sharks.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – NIGHT
SAM and DEAN are looking at the wall of placemats, using flashlights. SAM removes a name tag from the wall.
SAM:
Omar Cooper. How much you want to bet little Omar here was scared of sharks?
DEAN:
Saul the janitor is connected how? I mean, he's not related to Omar.
SAM:
No. But Saul had something he wanted to tell me.
DEAN:
So this isn't about ganking some dickweed parent.
SAM:
More like, uh, silencing a whistle-blower?
DEAN:
Great, so whatever we're looking for can literally fire off childhood fears at will. Wow. Watch out for evil lunch ladies.
SAM is holding an EMF reader.
SAM:
All right. Let's comb this place.
SAM walks off. DEAN takes an EMF reader out of his jacket pocket.
DEAN:
Seriously. Dractopus. Seabiscuit the impaler. Land shark – what's next?
EXT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – DAY
A hatchback pulls up outside the building. LIBBY is driving. The YOUNG BOY is drawing in the passenger seat.
LIBBY:
Okay, Tyler, that's it. You got to take the bus from here.
TYLER:
But I thought –
LIBBY:
I can't. I'm sorry. I'm late.
LIBBY takes some coins from her purse and gives them to TYLER.
LIBBY:
Here.
TYLER gets out of the car.
LIBBY:
Stay out of trouble.
LIBBY gets out of the car. The camera pans in on TYLER’s drawing on the passenger seat. It is of a giant robot with red beams coming from its eyes standing in front of a city backdrop. Two people are fleeing and a car is upside down.
ACT THREE
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
Timestamp: NOW
SAM goes flying through the air and lands on a large pickup, breaking the windshield. The clowns whoop and cackle. One clown pulls SAM off the hood of the pickup. The other kicks SAM in the stomach. The first clown catches him, turns him around and kicks him back towards the second clown. SAM grabs a tire iron from the pickup in his right hand and raises his left arm to deliver a backwards hit to the second clown. It falls down. SAM hits the first clown with the tire iron. The clown takes a step back, but then points with a flourish behind SAM to the second clown. The second clown is juggling some stakes [?]. It lunges at SAM with one of them.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
DEAN is turning pages of John’s journal at the table.
Timestamp:
4:34:12 Earlier
4:34:11 Earlier
4:34:10 Earlier
4:34:09 Earlier
4:34:08 Earlier
SAM is sitting across from DEAN at the table, using the laptop.
SAM:
Maybe a... Tulpa?
DEAN:
No, killings are too spread out.
SAM:
True. Um... angel?
DEAN:
It's a little imaginative for the God squad, don't you think?
SAM sighs.
SAM:
All right. So... what?
DEAN:
Yeah, I don't know. I'm tapped out.
SAM and DEAN are both drinking coffee.
SAM:
Well, whatever it is, at least we know where it is.
DEAN:
Plucky's!
SAM:
That's where the victims are getting picked up.
DEAN:
Yeah, but we swept the place last night, and nada.
SAM:
I can go back. Go to the employees, maybe dig up some dirt.
DEAN:
What good's that gonna do? They think you're a Fed. The one guy who was gonna rat, he got Bruce'd. If anybody knows anything, they're not gonna tell you.
SAM:
All right.
SAM claps his hands once.
SAM:
Yep. That's the plan.
SAM stands up.
SAM:
I'll go back, play bad cop, really lean into them.
SAM walks towards the bathroom.
DEAN:
And...?
SAM:
And... when I'm done, then you watch them.
DEAN:
So if somebody freaks out, then that's our creep.
SAM:
Or he'll lead us closer, and you can track him.
DEAN:
Well, what's my cover?
SAM:
I don't know. Just hang back. Act normal.
SAM goes into the bathroom and closes the door.
DEAN:
Yeah, yeah. Guy in his thirties hanging out at Plucky's alone – that's normal. That's not pervy at all.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – DAY
JEAN is talking to another employee.
JEAN:
So, it doesn't matter what people say. We've roped it off. I've notified the powers that be. Everyone's aware.
SAM walks up and clears his throat loudly.
JEAN:
Just no one goes in the...
SAM:
Hi.
JEAN:
Agent. I bet I know why you're here.
SAM:
How's business?
JEAN:
Turns out not even grim flippin' death can slow down the birthday fun.
SAM:
Oh.
JEAN:
We roped off the ball pit, though, until corporate can get here. I just can't believe the machine fritzed and did Saul in like that.
SAM:
Yeah, that makes two of us. I'm gonna need to talk to some of your employees.
JEAN:
Like who?
SAM:
[somewhat menacingly] Like you.
JEAN leads the way to the back. DEAN is sitting at a table in the restaurant area watching. A girl walks past him carrying a large rainbow-colored slinky. DEAN looks around and gets up.
HOWARD is behind a counter. Behind him are shelves stocked with novelty items, including the giant slinky. Below it is a sign that reads “1000”.
HOWARD:
Howdy, friend.
DEAN raises a hand towards the giant slinky.
DEAN:
Giant slinky. Would have killed for one of those when I was a kid. How much?
HOWARD:
1,000 tickets.
DEAN:
American dinero. How much?
HOWARD:
Oh, we don't take cash here at Plucky Pennywhistle's. Only tickets won through hard work and determination.
DEAN:
You mainlined the kool-aid, huh?
HOWARD laughs. DEAN looks unamused.
HOWARD:
It's double-ticket Tuesday if you play skeeball.
A boy walks up to the counter holding up a string of tickets.
HOWARD:
Howdy, friend!
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE STAFF BREAK ROOM – DAY
JEAN is seated at a table. SAM stays on his feet.
SAM:
So, where were you last night?
JEAN:
Well, here. Obviously. I found him. But I was by the cash register the whole time. There's a security camera pointed right at the counter. The cops already looked at it.
SAM:
Uh-huh. And you heard nothing?
JEAN:
I heard the ball blaster. I didn't hear him. If I did, I would have run in, of course.
SAM:
Yeah, right, right. So that's your excuse.
JEAN:
My what? Look, I know I'm new to this job, but I'm –
SAM:
What? How new?
JEAN:
Couple weeks. I just got promoted.
SAM:
Hmm. So, uh, was there a lot of competition for the gig?
JEAN:
I guess. It comes with benefits. The bosses had us all write essays about how we would do our best for the kids, and they picked me. Don't be shocked, but I actually did two semesters at college, so... I'm not in any kind of trouble, am I?
SAM:
I don't know. Why don't you tell me?
JEAN:
Look, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. And, I mean, it's not as if I'd ever do anything illegal.
SAM slams a hand on the table and leans over close to JEAN.
SAM:
Sure you wouldn't.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE GAMES AREA – DAY
A ball hits the “30” ring of the skeeball machine. DEAN beams. He tears off the three tickets that come out of the machine and looks less pleased. JEAN comes out of the break room. DEAN tosses another ball, which goes into a “100” ring, but doesn’t wait to collect the tickets. He follows JEAN as she grabs a jacket and goes outside through an “Employees Only” door. He watches as she lights a joint.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE STAFF BREAK ROOM – DAY
SAM receives a text from “Dean Cell”: “High Times not our gal.” HOWARD is reading SAM’s FBI business card.
HOWARD:
Special Agent? Wow! [laughs] I want you to know, sir, that I really appreciate what you do, and –
SAM:
Quiet.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE GAMES AREA – DAY
A chubby boy is kneeling on the skeeball machine putting the balls directly into the rings.
TYLER:
Hey! Stop cheating!
The boy looks at TYLER and goes back to what he was doing.
DEAN:
You heard him. Knock it off!
The boy gets off the machine and runs away.
TYLER and DEAN (together):
Jackass.
TYLER and DEAN look at each other. DEAN smiles.
LIBBY walks towards TYLER carrying a piece of pizza on a plate.
LIBBY:
Tyler, soup's on.
TYLER walks over to a child-sized table and sits down. LIBBY has put the plate down in front of his seat. DEAN takes the tickets from the skeeball machine left by the boy who was cheating.
TYLER:
But, Mom, I don't want –
LIBBY:
Just eat it.
TYLER:
But it sucks!
LIBBY sighs and walks away. TYLER moves the plate to one side, pulls a placemat on which he is drawing a picture closer to him, and picks up a pencil.
DEAN:
Hey, why don't you cut her some slack?
TYLER:
What do you care?
DEAN:
Because I've been where you are.
TYLER:
Your mom made you camp at a stupid Plucky's after school?
DEAN:
Y– no. No, but my dad, he... hauled me places. Besides, she's working a tough gig.
DEAN nods towards LIBBY, who is cleaning up a spill in the restaurant area.
DEAN:
You know? She's exhausted. You should take pity on the old. And, hey, free grub.
TYLER:
That stuff tastes like butt.
DEAN:
What? Come on, it can't be that bad.
DEAN picks up TYLER’s plate.
DEAN:
Let's see here.
DEAN takes a bit of the pizza and chews.
DEAN:
[with an “it’s not so bad” expression] Ah...
DEAN spits the pizza out.
DEAN:
That is butt.
DEAN puts the plate down. TYLER smiles. DEAN looks at TYLER’s drawing, which is of a robot with red beams coming from its eyes.
DEAN:
You scared of robots?
TYLER:
They have laser eyes.
DEAN:
Yes.
HOWARD walks past from the break room. A CHILD tugs on his vest from behind.
CHILD:
Excuse me.
HOWARD:
Howdy, friend! What's your name?
HOWARD and the CHILD shake hands.
CHILD:
Evan.
HOWARD:
Hi.
DEAN takes out his phone.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE STAFF BREAK ROOM – DAY
SAM receives a text from “Dean Cell”: “Nope.” Someone is a lion costume is seated at the table. SAM is standing.
SAM:
Lose the head.
A YOUNG MAN lifts off the head of the costume.
SAM:
Why'd you do it?
YOUNG MAN:
Do... what?
SAM:
I think you know.
YOUNG MAN:
I... I got rights. You can't –
SAM shoves the chair on the other side of the table out of the way and leans over with his hands on the table.
SAM:
I'm the federal government, pal. I can do whatever I want.
The YOUNG MAN holds up his hands.
YOUNG MAN:
Okay. I'll talk.
SAM takes a step back from the table. The YOUNG MAN throws the lion head at him and runs for the door.
SAM:
Dean!
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE GAMES AREA – DAY
The YOUNG MAN runs past DEAN. DEAN and SAM follow. SAM comes to a halt for a moment when his path is blocked by a clown.
EXT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – DAY
The YOUNG MAN runs out the Employees Only door, followed by DEAN and then SAM. CLIFF rounds a corner as DEAN gets closer.
DEAN:
Hey! Hey! Come here!
DEAN grabs the tail of the lion costume. It comes off in his hand and he throws it away.
DEAN:
Hey!
DEAN tackles the YOUNG MAN into a pile of tires. He rolls the YOUNG MAN over onto his back and holds him down.
YOUNG MAN:
If this is about the meth lab that fireballed up in Butte, it wasn't me. Okay, it was my brother, but, um, we got the same fingerprints, and... Please. This is the best job I ever had.
DEAN:
All right, look, uh...
YOUNG MAN:
Cliff.
DEAN:
Cliff. You're not using kids' nightmares to smoke people, are you, Cliff?
CLIFF:
I don't...think so.
DEAN looks up at SAM.
DEAN:
Get up.
DEAN hauls CLIFF to his feet.
CLIFF:
What's going on?
DEAN:
All right, cards up. Yeah, we don't care that you, you know, broke bad or whatever. But there is some seriously weird going on in there.
CLIFF:
You mean the sub-basement.
SAM:
This place has a sub-basement?
CLIFF:
Sure. Door's out back. Easy to miss if you don't know.
DEAN:
What's in there?
CLIFF:
Alls I know is... Me and Saul used to come in after hours sometimes and... [laughs] You ever shroom in a ball pit?
CLIFF, still laughing, turns to look at SAM. He wipes the smile off his face.
CLIFF:
Not that I...would, agents. It was Saul. Just Saul. All alone. Anyway... Sometimes we'd hear, like, spooky stuff, through the vents... Coming up from the boiler room.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE GAMES AREA – DAY
LIBBY, carrying a bag, walks towards TYLER’s table. She puts an arm around TYLER’s shoulders and they walk together.
LIBBY:
Okay, kiddo. Let's go.
TYLER:
But somebody stole it!
LIBBY stops and takes TYLER’s face in her hands. SAM and DEAN are watching.
LIBBY:
[sharply] So, draw another one! Okay? We gotta go.
LIBBY takes TYLER’s hand. TYLER sees DEAN, who gives TYLER a look.
TYLER:
Okay. I'm sorry.
LIBBY:
Thank you.
TYLER:
That place mat sucked anyway.
LIBBY and TYLER walk off. DEAN walks over to TYLER’s table and looks at the blank placemats on it.
SAM:
Dean. What? What is it?
DEAN:
While you were out being Dirty Harry, uh, Tyler's mom got pissy with him, and now his place mat's missing.
SAM:
So, what do you think?
DEAN:
I think the bitchy mom plus, uh, sad kid plus place mat with something nuts written on it... equals wacky corpse.
SAM:
So you think she's next on the list? All right, I'll tail them just to be safe. You –
DEAN:
Check the boiler room. I know.
SAM:
Right.
SAM walks off, then turns back.
SAM:
Oh. Oh. Uh, Dean, hey, uh, any idea what he drew?
DEAN:
Robot.
SAM:
Robot?
DEAN:
Yeah, about the size of a house. Shoots destructo beams out of its eyes.
SAM:
At least I'll see it coming.
DEAN:
Yeah.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BOILER ROOM – NIGHT
DEAN enters and looks around using a flashlight. There is a large pot with a flame burning in the center of the room.
DEAN:
Now, that's perfectly normal.
DEAN continues to look around and sees children’s drawings on the wall. One is of a boy under water. Next to it is a photograph of two young boys with a birthday cake. The decorations read “Happy Birthday Howard.” Three dolls are on a table next to an open spell book. DEAN closes the book. Under it is TYLER’s placemat with the drawing of the robot.
HOWARD:
Drop it.
DEAN turns and sees HOWARD holding a gun.
HOWARD:
Drop it!
DEAN sets his gun on the floor.
HOWARD:
Mm-hmm. Now kick it over.
DEAN slides the gun towards HOWARD with his foot.
DEAN:
Some pretty heavy hoodoo you got here. I gotta say, as far as I know, none of these things, uh, can poop out a Unicorn.
HOWARD walks closer. He and DEAN are on opposite sides of the pot with the flames.
HOWARD:
There's power in fear. And when a child draws what he's afraid of, a little of that mojo ends up on the page.
DEAN:
So, what, you toss it in the fire, and some bed-wetter's horror show comes to life?
HOWARD:
I got to get something off the parent, too. Something they own. That bit gets tricky.
DEAN:
Well, it hasn't seemed to slow you down.
HOWARD:
I'm just doing what I need to!
DEAN:
Okay. Okay. I get it. Okay?
DEAN throws the book from the table at HOWARD. HOWARD spins out of the way, but doesn’t drop his gun. DEAN rips the placemat with the drawing of the robot in half.
DEAN:
No drawing... No Iron Giant!
DEAN crumples the two halves of the drawing and tosses them away.
HOWARD:
Oh, that b-word is still on the list! But not tonight. Bigger fish.
DEAN:
What, are you gonna shoot me, Howard? You really want a body on your hands? Blood everywhere?
HOWARD:
I’d shut up! 'Cause I got lots of ways to take care of bullies. Don't you worry. Like that FBI guy. He's your pal, right? I saw you chase Cliff down. Five minutes ago, his business card was torched. Along with something from my... personal collection.
HOWARD picks up several placemats with children’s drawings.
HOWARD:
I – I – I picked it out real special for him, too.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE LIBBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
LIBBY gets out of her car. SAM is watching from the Jeep nearby.
HOWARD (V-O):
Soon as I saw him, I noticed. He was staring at every little Plucky like it was gonna stab him or something.
SAM gets out of the Jeep. A clown appears in front of him. SAM gasps.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BOILER ROOM – NIGHT
HOWARD:
Guy's got a real thing about clowns.
EXT. STREET NEAR LIBBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The clown steps towards SAM, laughing.
ACT FOUR
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
SAM bursts in the door.
Timestamp: RIGHT FRIGGIN’ NOW
SAM slams the door behind him and moves the metal objects in front of it. He hears a crash and turns to see that the clown has followed him in. It laughs maniacally. SAM starts to walk away from the clown, but the second clown, which is also laughing, has appeared in front of him. SAM stops and the second clown zooms closer. SAM shoots the second clown and glitter flies. The second clown punches SAM twice.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BOILER ROOM – NIGHT
DEAN:
Well, hey, these are, uh, really nice dolls. Did you...
DEAN picks up a clown doll.
DEAN:
...paint them yourself?
HOWARD doesn’t respond.
DEAN:
Oh. Uh, friggin' Plucky.
HOWARD:
Plucky helps kids. It's all I ever wanted to do. And when the management slot opened up, I... but they passed me over.
DEAN:
Shocker.
HOWARD:
No, I told them, "No one cares more than me."
DEAN sets the clown doll back on the table.
HOWARD:
But suits never listen.
DEAN slips the doll into the back pocket of his jeans.
HOWARD:
So, I'm doing it my way.
DEAN:
So let me get this straight. You didn't get the good parking space, so you start dropping bodies?
HOWARD:
Those parents were horrible. They deserved what they got.
DEAN:
What about Saul?
HOWARD:
Saul had a big mouth!
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
The second clown is holding SAM from behind. SAM headbutts it. The first clown sprays SAM with seltzer from a flower on its jacket.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BOILER ROOM – NIGHT
DEAN:
Some guy hits on the babysitter, all of a sudden he's the world's worst dad?
HOWARD:
A good parent puts his kids first.
DEAN:
And having a little girl watch her pop get ganked by the closet monster – that's putting her first?
HOWARD:
In the long run, they'll all be better off.
DEAN:
You think so? Really?
HOWARD:
I would have been.
DEAN turns to look at the pictures on the wall. In the first, a stick figure is below the surface of the water, while a second stick figure swims on the surface. In the second, a person is well below the surface and is surrounded by fish. The camera then pans in on the photograph of the two little boys with the birthday cake.
DEAN:
So, your brother. What happened to him?
HOWARD:
It's not my fault! It's theirs!
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
SAM hits the windshield of the pickup. One clown pulls SAM off the hood of the pickup. The other kicks SAM in the stomach. SAM raises his left arm to deliver a backwards hit to the second clown and SAM hits the first clown with the tire iron.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BOILER ROOM – NIGHT
The camera pans in on the stick figure swimming on the surface of the water in the first drawing, then on the stick figure under the water.
DEAN:
Looks to me like he drowned.
HOWARD:
I was screaming... But my folks... They didn't listen. They never listened.
DEAN:
It was an accident.
HOWARD:
They let him die!
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
SAM ducks as the second clown takes a swing at him, then hits that clown with the tire iron. The second clown tosses the wrench it is holding to the first clown and the first clown hits SAM with it. SAM goes down, but gets back to his feet and hits the first clown in the groin with the tire iron. He turns and hits the second clown across the face with the tire iron. A large tooth flies from its mouth with a sprinkling of glitter.
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE BOILER ROOM – NIGHT
DEAN takes the picture of the person under water with fish off the wall and holds it up to HOWARD.
DEAN:
I'll bet you still have nightmares. In fact, I'll bet you haven't been in the water since.
HOWARD:
Shut up!
DEAN:
Because you're afraid.
DEAN takes the clown doll out of the back pocket of his jeans, then puts both the drawing and the doll in the fire.
HOWARD:
No!!
HOWARD moves towards the fire, but the flames leap up and both he and DEAN lean back. HOWARD shoots three times as DEAN drops to the floor and draws his gun. He and HOWARD both freeze. A young boy with three bullet holes in his shirt has appeared. The bullet holes close up and the young boy moves towards HOWARD.
HOWARD:
It wasn't my fault.
The young boy continues to walk towards HOWARD.
HOWARD:
I'm sorry.
DEAN gets to his feet.
The young boy reaches for HOWARD’s right hand, which is holding his gun. HOWARD falls to his knees and makes choking sounds. We see the paper and doll in the fire. HOWARD begins to splutter water. We again see the paper and doll in the fire. Water continues to come from HOWARD’s mouth and the paper and doll continue to burn.
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
The first clown runs at SAM brandishing a large metal bar. SAM raises a wrench to defend himself. The second clown moves towards SAM from behind. As the clowns reach SAM, they vanish in an explosion of glitter. SAM looks around and spits glitter out of his mouth.
ACT FIVE
INT. PLUCKY PENNYWHISTLE’S MAGICAL MENAGERIE – NIGHT
DEAN is leaning against his car. SAM pulls up in the Jeep and gets out. He is still covered in glitter. DEAN walks a few steps towards him. SAM raises an arm and makes a circular motion with a finger.
SAM:
Let's roll.
SAM spreads his arms wide, inviting DEAN’s reaction.
SAM:
Go ahead. Say it.
DEAN laughs.
DEAN:
I'm sorry.
SAM starts to smile.
DEAN:
You look like you got attacked by some PCP-crazed strippers.
SAM smiles wider.
SAM:
Dude, one of them sprayed me with seltzer from his flower.
DEAN laughs even louder. SAM looks surprised at DEAN’s reaction.
DEAN:
I'm s– whew. What?
SAM:
Nothing. Carry on.
DEAN:
Ohh. That's... Sam... I'm sorry for... psychologically scarring you.
SAM:
Which time?
DEAN:
Shut up. Seriously. You know, me – me ditching you when we were kids, that was a dick move. You know, the whole clown thing–
SAM:
You know what, man? Honestly... getting my ass kicked by those juggalos tonight was, uh... it was therapeutic.
DEAN:
You faced your fear.
SAM:
Exactly. And now what else could a clown possibly ever do to me? I feel good.
DEAN:
Well, congrats.
SAM:
By the way, to celebrate...
DEAN:
What?
SAM takes a giant slinky out of the Jeep and walks towards DEAN.
DEAN:
No!
SAM:
Yes.
SAM gives the giant slinky to DEAN and walks to the passenger door of the car.
DEAN:
Did you win this?
SAM:
We earned that.
DEAN:
Ha ha!
DEAN walks to the driver’s side of the car.
DEAN:
Hey. I got you a little something, too, actually.
DEAN puts the giant slinky on the roof of the car, and reaches into the car for a clown doll, which he tosses to SAM. SAM shudders and holds it up.
DEAN:
What? You said you were over it. You can think of it as a... clown phobia sobriety chip.
The car drives away. The clown doll is lying on the road with the head broken away from the body. It winks and we hear the sound of a clown laughing quietly.
END
