6.20 The Man Who Would Be King (Transcript)

TEASER

EXT. PARK

CASTIEL You know, I've...I've been here for a very long time. And I remember many things. (an ocean is shown) I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little gray fish heave itself up on the beach and an older brother saying, "don't step on that fish, Castiel. Big plans for that fish." I remember the Tower of Babel...All 37 feet of it, which I suppose was impressive at the time. (clips from old movies are shown) And when it fell, they howled 'divine wrath'. But come on - dried dung can only be stacked so high. I remember Cain and Abel...David and Goliath...Sodom and Gomorrah. And, of course, I remember the most remarkable event (clips from seasons 4 and 5 are shown) -- remarkable because it never came to pass. It was averted by two boys... An old drunk...and a fallen angel. The grand story. And we ripped up the ending and the rules...And destiny...leaving nothing but freedom and choice. Which is all well and good, except... Well, what if I've made the wrong choice? How am I supposed to know? I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you my story. (Castiel looks directly at the camera) Let me tell you everything.

ACT I

INT. IMPALA - NIGHT

CASTIEL Hello, Dean. Are you all right?

DEAN Yeah, I'm...I'm fine. How are you?

CASTIEL Just wanted to check in.

DEAN So, any word on, uh, Satan Jr. being alive?

CASTIEL I'm...looking, believe me. I just don't understand how Crowley could've tricked me.

DEAN Well, he's a tricky son of a bitch, that's how. Doesn't matter. But if he is up and kicking, then what does matter is finding him, ripping his head off, and shoving it up his ass.

CASTIEL What about you? Have you found anything?

DEAN No, nothing yet.

CASTIEL Where's Sam?

DEAN He's keeping busy. He's tracking a Djinn in Omaha as we speak. In fact, I'm heading out there right now to meet up with him.

CASTIEL Well, I'd come if I could.

DEAN Yeah, no, I-I get it. No worries. But, Cass, you'll call, right? If you get into real trouble?

INT. ABANDONED HOSPITAL

(Crowley is examining Eve's corpse. He also has a vampire shackled nearby)

CROWLEY Howdy, partner.

CASTIEL What have you found?

CROWLEY I've found a lot of things. For example...Eve's brain? Dead as a tinned kipper. And yet...(Crowley reaches inside Eve and pulls out a handful of eggs)For some reason...She keeps laying eggs. Watch this.(Crowley takes a poker and places it on Eve's brain. The vampire seizes violently) Chocula here feels every tickle.

CASTIEL What is that good for?

CROWLEY Apart from the obvious erotic value, you got me.

CASTIEL You said Eve could open the door to Purgatory.

CROWLEY Correct. I did. And I'm confident that she could have if she was still alive! Single best chance to get over the rainbow, and the Winchesters killed her!

CASTIEL It was unavoidable.

CROWLEY You screwed up, Cass. You let the hounds mangle the pheasant, and now I am up to my elbows in it.

CASTIEL What is your point?

CROWLEY The point is...You're distracted, and that makes me nervous.

CASTIEL I am holding up my end.

CROWLEY Ah, yes. But is that all you're holding? See...the stench of that Impala's all over your overcoat, Angel. I thought we'd agreed -- no more nights out with the boys.

CASTIEL I spoke with Dean. I needed to know what they know.

CROWLEY About what? About me, maybe?'Cause I happen to have it on good authority that your two little pets are currently trying to hunt me down! Forgive me, but I think you might have a little conflict of interest here.

CASTIEL Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters' guardian. After all...they taught me how to stand up...

(flashback to 'Swan Song':)

EXT. STULL CEMETERY

CASTIEL Hey! Ass butt! (Castiel throws a bottle of holy oil at Michael, and Michael burns)

MICHAEL Aaaaaaaahh!

CASTIEL What to stand for...And what generally happens to you when you do.

(Lucifer snaps his fingers and Castiel explodes. The camera closes in on some of the floating droplets of blood.)

CASTIEL I was...done. I was over. And then the most extraordinary thing happened. I was put back. (Castiel stands behind Dean, beaten bloody by Lucifer) And we had won. We stopped Armageddon. (Castiel heals Dean) But at a terrible cost. (Castiel heals Bobby)

(flashback to very end of 'Swan Song')

EXT. OUTSIDE OF LISA BRAEDEN'S HOUSE - NIGHT

(Sam stands under the streetlight, which flickers and dies, watching Dean inside Lisa's house. Castiel watches Sam.)

CASTIEL And so I knew what I had to do next. Once again, I went to Harrow Hell, to free Sam from Lucifer's cage. It was nearly impossible, but I was so full of confidence, of mission. I see now that was arrogance...Hubris...Because, of course, I hadn't truly raised Sam -- not all of him. (flashback to 'Unforgiven': Sam is beating a cop unconscious; flashback to 'Live Free or Twi-Hard': Sam watches Dean being turned; flashback to 'Appointment in Samarra': Sam raises his dagger to stab Bobby ) Sometimes we're lucky enough to be given a warning. (back in front of Lisa's house, Sam turns and walks away- directly past Castiel) This should have been mine.

INT. ABANDONED HOSPITAL

CROWLEY Please. I'm begging you, Castiel. Just kill the Winchesters.

CASTIEL No.

CROWLEY Fine. Then I'll do it myself.

CASTIEL If you kill them, I'll just bring them back again.

CROWLEY No, you won't. Not where I'll put 'em. Trust me.

CASTIEL I said...No. Don't worry about them.

CROWLEY Don't worry about -- what, like Lucifer didn't worry? Or Michael? Or Lilith or Alistair or Azazel didn't worry?! Am I the only game piece on the board who doesn't underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares?!

CASTIEL Just find Purgatory. If you don't, we will both die again and again, until the end of time. The Winchesters won't get to you.

CROWLEY Let them get to me! I'll tear their friggin' hearts out!

INT. BOBBY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

(a demon, Redd is strapped to a chair under the devil's trap on Bobby's ceiling)

BOBBY I got to tell you, Redd...for a filthy, lower-than-snake-spit Hellspawn, you seem to have turned yourself into a damn fine hunter. I don't know whether to kill you or kiss you.

REDD Oh, please, kill me.

BOBBY That was you that dug out that nest of vamps back in Swan Valley, wasn't it?

SAM That was nice work.

REDD Eight of 'em in one go, roped and tied.

BOBBY And then you brought them to Crowley, right?

REDD Read the papers, redneck. The king is dead.

(Bobby chuckles and tosses holy water on Redd's neck)

REDD Ugh! Nng!

BOBBY Crowley's alive. You prove it just by being, you poor, dumb jackass. Crowley's alive. His nets are still out. Except now he's using you schmucks to hunt his monsters.

REDD Up yours.

(Bobby turns to Sam and hods out his hand. Sam hands Bobby Ruby's knife. Dean enters and nodes towards Sam. Sam goes into the kitchen with him.)

BOBBY Redd...Where's Crowley? No? Nothing? Oh, okay, then. Here, hang on to this for a bit. (Bobby stabs Redd in the leg with Ruby's knife)

REDD Aaaaaaaaaaahh! Aaaaaaaaaaaahh!

SAM So, what'd you tell him?

DEAN Nothing. Just relax.

BOBBY What's the hubbub?

DEAN I saw Cass. He popped in on me about two hours back.

BOBBY What'd you tell him?

DEAN Nothing, all right? Told him we were on some crap monster hunt. He doesn't know that we're getting close to Crowley. You know, he's our friend...And we are lying to him through our teeth.

SAM Dean--

DEAN -so he burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked him.

BOBBY He's an angel.

DEAN He is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven! He can make a mistake!

BOBBY Nobody's saying nothing yet.

DEAN You think that Cass is in with Crowley. Crowley?

BOBBY Look, I'm just saying I don't know. Now, look, I hate myself for even thinking it. But I don't know.

(Castiel is standing behind them, invisible.)

SAM Look, Dean, he's our friend, too, okay? And I'd die for him. I would, but...Look, I'm praying we're wrong here.

BOBBY But if we ain't...If there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here...that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we've got to be cautious, we got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite.

DEAN (to Sam)This makes you Lois Lane.

BOBBY Look, one problem at a time here. We got to find Crowley now, before the damn fool cracks open Purgatory.

CASTIEL So - they already suspected.

BOBBY Where's Crowley?

REDD Up yours. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh!

CASTIEL And the worst part was Dean. He was trying so hard to be loyal, every instinct telling him otherwise.

REDD I don't know where Crowley is!

BOBBY Are you sure about that? 'Cause we can twist again all the way to next summer.

(Bobby twists Ruby's knife again)

REDD Oh, God! I never even met him! I don't deal with Crowley direct.

BOBBY Well, who do you deal with?

REDD The dispatcher. A demon named Ellsworth.

INT. ELLSWORTH'S HOUSE

CASTIEL If there was a demon counterpart to Bobby Singer, Ellsworth would be it.

(Ellsworth sits at a desk, filled with phones of both the human and demonic variety)

ELLSWORTH No, listen to me. No. I don't care. I want you to get down to New Mexico and bag me that Wendigo! Hell. Hang on. What? No more vampires. Because the boss says we're done with them. (picking up one of the phones) FBI. Thomas speaking. Absolutely, I sent them. Thank you for calling to check. You too. Have a nice day, now. Bye-bye. (at the two demons about to exit) Hey, hey, hey! No! Not in here, you friggin' Yeti. Out back!

CASTIEL These demons would lead the Winchesters to Crowley, and Crowley would tear their hearts out.

(Castiel appears in Ellsworth's house and smites the two demons right in front of Ellsworth's desk)

ELLSWORTH Oh, hell.

(Ellsworth attempts to leave his host, but Castiel pushes him back in and smites him too)

CASTIEL I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don't know anymore.