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{{stub}} == TEASER == FADE IN: WOODS - NIGHT A young woman, WENDY, is exiting an abandoned house. She is searching with a flashlight, clearly scared. WENDYMitch? Ashley? You out here? Come on, guys! Where are you? Hello? Hello?! WENDYBrody! BRODYAshley and Todd - they're dead! Wendy, they're dead! WENDYBrody, pull it together. BRODYPull it together?! We don't have a chance, okay? We have to get out of here now! WENDYNo, Brody, we are not leaving. We have got to find my sister. BRODYNo! No, I am getting out of here right now! He runs off in the other direction. WENDYBrody! Brody, get back here! Brody! God, you son of a bitch! She hears movement behind her and stops crying. When she turns, she lets out a long, loud scream, that's sort of a yell, but quickly begins to look annoyed. It is revealed that the woman is on a movie set. A camera is in her face, with a tennis ball fixed to the top, representing the monster she's supposed to be screaming at. She stops screaming, looking disgusted. The director, McG, watches from the sidelines. McGCut!(under his breath to the other guy)What the hell was that?  The lights come up on the set. A props guy takes the flashlight from the actress playing Wendy, TARA BENCHLEY. A production assistant, WALTER DIXON, hands TARA a Snapple. WALTERHere you go. TARAThanks, Walter. McG (To crew:) Don't – don't mark that. McG walks over to TARA, who is shaking up her drink. McGIt's all good, Tara, that was great. Let's do it again. Uh, maybe .... try dialing up that scream, huh? TARAI know. I know. I'm just... I'm having trouble with the tennis ball. McGOh, that is just for CG registration. Now, when Ivan and the FX guys are done, it is going to look terrifying. (He turns to snap at someone. An assistant brings over a notebook full of sketches of the monster.) Do you wanna look at the concept sketches again? Will that help? TARANo, that's okay. I'll find it, I'll find it. McGI know you will, pumpkin, huh? Okay SET WORKER into mike: Going again, everybody! Ten-minute reload for camera and sound! TARA sits in her chair by RICK, the actor playing Brody. Another set worker, FRANK, is talking to them. FRANKWow, man, I'm telling you - working alone behind the sets, or after wrap? I catch this weird vibe sometimes. RICKOh, like what? FRANKLike something's watching. RICK (scoffs) Come on. FRANKHey, working on a movie like this? Weird crap's bound to happen. RICK(to TARA)Frank here thinks the stage is haunted. Like, for real. She laughs. FRANKAll I'm saying is, they call wrap, I'd get done, and I get out of here. Fast. He walks away. RICKThat guy is definitely off his meds. Whoo! They laugh. CUT TO: Later, TARA is standing in the middle of the "woods", going over her lines and practicing screams. TARABrody, come back! You son of a bitch! She tries practicing the scream, but she can't quite get it. TARA (cont'd)Brody, come back! You son of a bitch! Again, she tries screaming. Suddenly, she hears a groaning sound on the set nearby. TARAHello? Guys? Come on, it's not funny.(No answer)Okay, ha ha, very funny.(Again, she hears some sound, like panting)Hello? Who's there? She keeps walking among the forest scenery, until she sees a baseball cap fall in front of her. She looks up to the scaffolding and briefly sees a male ghost, before it flickers. Then, she notices that FRANK is dead, lying on his stomach while blood covers his face. She lets out a long, bloodcurdling scream. On the other side of the set, McG and the production crew hear TARA'S scream. McG (loudly, in approval)Now that's what I'm talkin' about!  END TEASER  == ACT ONE == EXT. LOS ANGELES, WARNER BROS. STUDIOS - DAY SAM and DEAN are taking part in the trolley tour of the studio, passing by movie and television sets. TOUR GUIDE (on a P.A.)First opened in 1927, the lot has been in continuous operation for eight decades. DEAN turns to a kid next to him, eating ice cream. DEANHey, you know this is where they filmed "Creepshow"? The boy looks at him like he's a doofus and says nothing. TOUR GUIDENow, to the right, here is Stars Hollow. It's the setting for the television series, Gilmore Girls. And if we're lucky, we might even catch one of the show's stars. SAM, looking uncomfortable, turns to DEAN, who gives him a thumbs up. SAMCome on. DEANLet's finish the tour! SAM hops off the trolley. SAMDean! DEAN hops off as well, and they continue walking around the lot. DEAN [looking excited] Sammy, check it out, it's Matt Damon! SAMYeah, I'm pretty sure that's not Matt Damon. DEANNo, it is. SAMWell, Matt Damon just picked up a broom and started sweeping. DEANYeah, well, he's probably researching a role or something. SAMAhhh, I don't think so.(noticing a sign)Hey, this way, uh, I think Stage 9 is over here. DEANCome on, man, let's keep going this way. SAMNo, come on, we've gotta work.(DEAN sighs)Dude, you wanted to come to LA. DEANYeah, for a vacation. I mean, swimming pools and movie stars! Not to work. SAMThis seem like swimming pool weather to you, Dean? I mean, it's practically Canadian. DEANYeah. I just figured that, you know, after everything that happened with ... Madison, y-you could use a little R-and-R, that's all. SAMWell, maybe I wanna work, Dean. Maybe it keeps my mind off things. DEANOkay, okay, all right. So, this crew guy - what did he, he died on set? SAMYeah, uh, rumors spreading like wildfire online. They're saying the set's haunted. DEANLike "Poltergeist"? SAMCould be a poltergeist. DEANNo, no, no. Like, the movie "Poltergeist".(SAM shrugs)You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you? It was rumored that the set of "Poltergeist" was cursed. That they used real human bones as, uh, as props. And, like, at least three of the actors died in it. SAMWell, yeah, it might be something like that. DEANAll right, so this crew guy - what's his name? SAMFrank Jaffey. DEANFrank Jaffey - he got a death certificate or a coroner's report or anything? SAMWell, no. But, uh, it's LA, you know? It might not even be his real name. But the girl who found him, she said she saw something - a vanishing figure. DEANWhat's the girl's name? SAMUh, Tara Benchley? DEAN (grinning with fannish enthusiasm) Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tara Benchley? From "Fear dot Com" and "Ghost Ship", Tara Benchley? Dude, why didn't you say so? SAMSo now, you're suddenly on board? DEAN(playing it cool)Oh, I just - I mean, I'm a fan of her work. It's very good. He walks away. SAM follows.      INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET One of the studio execs for the movie, BRAD REDDING, is talking to McG and the producer, JAY WILEY. BRADNo, look, don't get me wrong. Everyone at the studio loves the dailies, myself included. We were just wondering if it could be ... you know, a little brighter? JAYBrighter? BRADYeah, Jay. More color. (Jay nods.) McG, you know what I'm saying, you're the master of that stuff. McGBrad, this is a horror movie. BRADYeah, and who says horror has to be dark, you know? It's just, it's sort of ... depressing, don't you think? He notices SAM and DEAN enter the set. BRADUh, excuse me, Green Shirt Guy?(DEAN points to himself quizzically)Yeah, you. Come here. DEAN exchanges a look with SAM and walks to BRAD. BRADCan you get me a smoothie from Kraft? DEANYou want a what from who? BRAD(scoffs)You are a P.A.? This is what you do? SAM quickly walks over to "save" DEAN. SAMYeah, yeah... he uh ... One smoothie coming right up. They walk away. DEANWhat's a P.A.? SAMI think they're kind of like slaves. They turn around as they're walking and SAM gives BRAD a reassuring thumbs-up. BRADThey'll let anybody in this business, huh? More incredulous scoffing.     CUT TO: Later, the cast and crew are getting ready to resume shooting. DEAN is walking in with a tray of smoothies. (Various: "let me lift that..." "That's good, right there!" "Hey guys, c'mere!" "All right, let's go people!" "Yeah, when Tara says her lines, can I step forward and make this ..." "Sure, sure, sure, " ... "quiet, please!" "on the bell!" "lights! All right, hold the noise, we're rolling!")  DEAN sets down the tray of smoothies he had gotten and starts to go up the stairs to the scaffolding. Suddenly, the lights on set go down, and the actors begin their take. McGWhy don't we take it from, uh ... "Come on, it'll be fun." And, action! The actors are now standing inside the abandoned house, and "WENDY", played by TARA, has a book open in front of her. WENDY(to her friends)Come on, it'll be fun. She begins reading from the book in very choppy Latin. While she is doing so, DEAN makes his way up the scaffolding. He takes out his EMF meter and scans the area, but nothing happens. Meanwhile, TARA is trying her best to read the Latin, but is barely getting through it. McG (off-screen)Maybe we'll finish this up tomorrow. TARA(breaking character)Oh my God, I hate you so much right now. You know? McGCut! The cast and crew all begin laughing. McGVery nice. CUT TO: A few minutes later, SAM joins DEAN at the Kraft services table. SAMSo? DEANNo EMF anywhere. SAMGreat. So, what do you think? DEANWell, I think being a P.A. sucks. But ... the food these people get, are you kidding me? I mean look at these things.(He picks up a tiny sandwich)They're like miniature Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. They're delicious. He holds one of them out to SAM. SAMMaybe later. DEAN shrugs and takes a huge bite. DEANWhat'd you find out about the dead crew guy? SAM has trouble taking his eyes off of DEAN's devouring of the sandwich. SAMUh ... Frank Jaffey was just filling in for the day. Nobody here knew him or where he lived or anything. DEANOh, great. So you found out about as much as I did. SAMNo, not quite. I– WALTER approaches. WALTERHey, guys.  DEANOh, hey. WALTERSorry. (he leans in between them to pick up a sandwich) DEAN That's all right.  He watches WALTER walk away with a sandwich. DEAN (cont'd)They're wonderful! SAMListen, I did dig up some stuff about Stage 9's history. DEANYeah? SAMYeah, four people died messy here over the past eighty years. Two suicides and two fatal accidents. DEANAny one of those could be a vengeful spirit. SAMYeah. We've just gotta narrow it down more. DEAN smiles as he notices TARA walk onto set. DEAN(fixated by her)I'll get right on that. DEAN walks over to TARA, grabbing a call sheet from one of the set workers as he walks by. Nervously, he steps up to TARA. DEANAre you supposed to get one of these? She looks up at him and smiles, noticing his good looks. DEAN (cont'd)I–I don't really know what I'm doing. TARAFirst day? DEANYeah. My big break.(She laughs)You know, I know it's ... really uncool to say this, but I–I'm a big fan. I loved you in Boogeyman. TARAOh, God, what a terrible script. But thank you. DEANYeah.(pause)You found him, right? The ... the dead guy?(She goes quiet and looks away)I'm sorry, you probably don't even wanna talk about this. TARANo, no, actually. It's – it's okay. Nobody around here really brings it up very much. (whispers) I think they're all scared I'm gonna have some kind of breakdown. DEANThat must have been awful. What happened? TARAIt was horrible. There – there was all this blood coming from his eyes and from his mouth. And, uh... I saw this, um... She stops, embarrassed. DEANWhat? TARAI saw this shape. To tell you the truth, I–I don't know actually, what I saw. I just know I saw it. WALTER approaches. WALTER(handing her a Snapple)Here you go, Tara. TARAThanks, Walter. He walks away. DEANUh – so, this, this crew guy, Frank - did you know him? TARANo, not that well. DEANIt's funny, it's like no one around here actually knew the guy. TARAI've got his picture. DEANYou do? TARA(smiling)Yeah. I take Polaroids of all the crew. It's just one of those things you do to kill time on set. She flips through a binder until she finds his picture. TARA (cont'd)Um ... um ... right there. DEAN looks at it closely and notices something. DEANSon of a bitch.      ; SCENE  INT. ST. JAMES RESIDENCE There is a knock on the door. A man opens it to see SAM and DEAN outside. DEANGerard St. James? The man, who looks exactly like FRANK, nods. GERARDYes. SAMYou're still alive. And you're not Frank Jaffey. GERARDUh, no? DEANYou were Desert Soldier Number Four in Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn? GERARDI was. DEANI knew I recognized you. I am a huge fan. Heh heh. I mean, your turn as a tractor crash victim in Critters 3— GERARDCritters 3! DEANWow. Yeah. GERARDWell, please, come in. They enter the house while GERARD brings them coffee. There are pictures lining the walls of GERARD, merely an actor, portraying various characters. GERARDYeah, it was the producers. They brought me up for the day to play Frank. DEANJust to fake your death? GERARDWell, rumors of a haunted film set, free publicity, especially when you're making a horror movie. I mean, uh, it's already all over the Internet. SAMYeah. We know. GERARDThese days, it's all about new media, building buzz. They say I'm the new "lonelygirl". DEANWho? SAMAnd the ghost Tara saw? GERARDProjected on a screen of diffusion. DEANIsn't that kind of cruel? Messing with their heads like that? GERARDHey, I just play the part. I don't write the script. Speaking of, I'm playing Willy in a, in a dinner theater production of Salesman at Costa Mesa, all next month.(He hands DEAN a flyer)You get a free pepper steak with the coupon. DEAN (laughs) Now, wait a second. If you're, if you're seen in public, won't that ruin the hoax? GERARD(scoffs) Oh, please. (to SAM) Frank and Willy? Totally different characters. SAMYou know what? Thanks very much, Mr. St. James. It was just nagging at us, you know? But we're – we're very glad ... you know, you're alive and well. DEANAbsolutely.(GERARD shakes both their hands)Hey, I wanted to ask you... what was it like working with Richard Moll?(to a confused SAM)Metalstorm. He was Hurok, King of the Cyclops people. GERARDGentlemen's gentleman. DEANYeah?(chuckles, brandishing the theatre coupon)All right. Pepper steak.    ; SCENE STAGE 9 MOVIE SET The actors playing "MITCH" and "KENDRA" are filming in the abandoned house. MITCHWhen we read from that book, we must have brought them back. Back from Hell. While "KENDRA" delivers her line, DAVE, the sound guy, receives a staticky feedback through his headphones, distorting the dialogue. MITCHIt doesn't matter. We're not going anywhere until we find Wendy and her sister. Got it? Good. Now let's get busy. McG (smiling) Cut! Very nice. DAVENo good for sound. I'm getting some kind of feedback. The cast and crew sigh. SET WORKERAnother costly sound delay. (yelling) All right, we're going again for sound, people! DAVEThank you! On another area of set, BRAD is talking with McG and the writer, MARTY. BRADNo, no, no, no, look. It's a great scene, really, dynamite. But I've still got a few ... not ... not problems, just questions. McG(annoyed)Like what? BRADWell, for one thing, (sighs) the rules aren't really landing for me. Like, the kids do this Latin chant, and that makes the ghosts show up? McGYeah. BRADSee, but if the ghosts are in Hell, how do they hear the chanting? I mean, (scoffs) what do they have, super-hearing? It's a logic bump. The rules don't track. McGMarty, you're the writer. MARTYWhat if I throw in an explainer? BRADYeah, that'd be super. Excuse me, I've gotta check some messages. He leaves, focused on his Bluetooth. McGSuits. BRAD wanders off to another area of the set, alone. While looking at his Blackberry, he notices a woman off to his side. She is grey-and-white from head to toe, as if from a black-and-white film. She is wearing dark lipstick and a robe, and has dark marks on her neck, clearly formed by ropes. She doesn't say anything, but smirks at him. BRADHas McG seen this? I like the whole body paint, black-and-white thing. But gee, I don't think those neck wounds are really gonna read on camera. They need to be red. You know what I'm saying?(he turns away and starts to walk away, calling to the other end of set)Hey, Jay? I need to speak to make-up right away. The woman zaps up behind him, and taps him on the shoulder. He turns back around to face her. BRADYeah? The woman, still silent, takes off her robe in front of him. BRAD looks her up and down, then watches as she turns and walks up the stairs to the scaffolding. BRAD(smirking)Wait up! He starts to follow her, walking toward the stairs she just ascended.     A few minutes later, the actors have resumed filming. MITCHWhen we read from that book, we must have brought them back. Back from Hell. KENDRABut I don't understand. If they were in Hell, how could they hear our chanting? MITCHThey must have super-hearing! Suddenly, the ceiling of the abandoned house caves in. The actors start and McG bolts to his feet, yelling in surprise. The crash was BRAD's body, falls through the top of the set, hanging from a noose. The actors scream and run off set. BRAD's body spins on the rope, and his Bluetooth falls to the floor as he hangs there, dead.    == ACT TWO == CUT TO: THE NEXT MORNING The actors are filming once again, where they had left off the previous day. TARA'S character, "WENDY", enters the abandoned house. MITCHWendy? WENDYOh, Mitch! God, you're alive! MITCHYou can't get rid of me that easy. McGRumble, rumble, rumble! WENDYSalt. Okay, we need salt. I read in that book that it keeps ghosts away. MITCHKendra, Logan, you guys check the back. Off-camera, MARTY begins whispering to the producer, JAY. MARTYJay, the poor bastard killed himself. Like, for real. Shouldn't we shut it down or something? JAYWe had a moment of silence for him at breakfast. He was just a studio guy. McGShh! WENDY(to "MITCH")I love you. MITCHI know. He shines his flashlight directly in her face. MITCH (cont'd) (breaking character) Sorry. TARA(breaking character)(sighs) Can we – can we cut or something? McGUm... uh, yeah, cut. Cut! DEAN(wearing a headset; loudly, to the crew)That's a cut! He resumes eating his taquito. McG (to a crew)Only I can say cut. McG(approaching TARA)Hey, what's up? TARAI'm sorry. I'm just a little upset. McGWell, with everything that's been going on around here, who can blame ya, huh? TARAI, I I just can't wrap my head around the dialog, you know? Salt? Doesn't that sound silly? I mean, why would a ghost be afraid of salt? DEAN smirks. McGOkay, um... Marty? MARTYYo. McGWhat do you think? MARTYNot married to salt, what do you want? We still sticking with condiments? McGIt just sounds different, not better. What else would a ghost be scared of? WALTER(standing next to DEAN)Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. MARTY(to JAY)What would a ghost be scared of? Maybe, uh, maybe shotguns. McGOkay, that makes even less sense than salt. WALTER (irritated) These people are idiots.  WALTER leaves in annoyance. SAM approaches DEAN. DEANWalter's a little testy for a P.A., huh? SAMHow's it going in here? DEANIt is going really good, man. Tara's really stepped up her performance. I think it's probably from all the sense memory stuff she's drawing on. SAMSense memory? DEANYeah. SAMDean, you, you know when I ask how it's going in here, I'm talking about the case, right? We don't really work here. You know, I thought you hated being a P.A. DEAN (shuffling his feet) I don't know. It's not so bad. I kind of feel like part of the team, you know? It's good – (holding out his plate)Oh, taquito? They're wonderful. SAMNo. Umm.. Listen, I conned my way into the morgue. DEANAnd? SAMNews reports were right: Brad's a doornail, no question. DEAN(into his headset)Copy that.(to Sam)I'm sorry, what? SAM"Copy that"? DEANWhat did you say? SAMThe news reports were right. Brad's a doornail- DEAN(into his headset)They are aware. SAMWho's aware? DEAN(to Sam)I'm sorry, what were you saying? SAMUh, uh ... uh. The newspaper's right: Brad's a doornail, no question about it. DEANI guess it's a good thing we didn't skip town. SAMYeah. DEANOh, come here. I want you to hear something.(into his headset)Copy that. On my way. He leads SAM over to the sound guy, DAVE. DEANHey, Dave. Can you play him that thing you were playing me earlier? DAVESure. He hands a pair of headphones to SAM. SAMThanks. SAM listens to the audio of one of the scenes in the movie. ('' Doesn't matter. We're not leaving til; we find Wendy and your sister. [static] '')  Midway through the dialogue, the sound becomes staticky and distorted. SAM exchanges a look with DEAN.        INT. BACKSTAGE - LATER SAMEVP. DEANFrom the night of Brad's stage dive. All of a sudden, I'm getting electromagnetic readings up the wazoo. For some reason, it's a legit haunting now. SAMWell, who's the ghost, Dean? What's it want? DEANI don't know. I think we should take a look at Brad's death scene.     Daytime.  Outside in the lot, DEAN leads SAM to one of the trailers. Once inside, DEAN pops a DVD into the television. SAMHey, where'd you get this DVD? DEANThey're called dailies. I got it from Cindy. She's kind of got this on-and-off thing going with Drew. He dubbed me an extra copy. They watch the footage of the scene, complete with BRAD'S surprise entrance. DEANAll right, here's where the guy fell through the roof. SAMRight. DEANAll right, here we go. MITCH(from the tape)''They must have super-hearing.'' Suddenly, BRAD falls through the ceiling of the set, hanging by a noose. SAMHey, wait, go back, go back.(DEAN rewinds the tape)Right after. Right aft- yeah right. Wait. There. DEAN pauses the frame. On the screen, we see a completely different set and standing in the far corner of the set, is the ghostly white woman who led BRAD to his death. DEANIt's like "Three Men and a Baby" all over again.(SAM looks at him, confused)Selleck, Danson, and Guttenberg. And... I don't know who played the baby. SAMWhat's your point? DEANThere's a scene in the movie where people say that the, the camera caught a ghost on film. Apparently, in the background of one of the scenes, there was this boy that nobody remembers from set. Spirit photography. SAM(looking at the woman)I've seen her before.     ; SCENEINT. STAGE 9 BEHIND THE MOVIE SET DEAN, headset in place, is sitting with SAM at a table. SAM hands him a print-out of an article. SAMHere. Check this out. DEAN(into his headset)Yeah, go for Ozzy.(...)No, I don't have a 20 on Tara, I think she's 10-100.(...)Okay, copy that.(to SAM)I'm sorry, what were you saying? SAM shakes his head in exasperation. SAMElise Drummond – starlet back in the thirties. Had an affair with a studio exec. He uses her up, fires her, leaves her destitute, so Elise hangs herself from Stage 9's rafters, right into a scene they're shooting. DEANJust like our man, Brad. So, what, she's got it in for the studio brass? SAMPossibly. I mean, it's a motive. And Brad's death matches hers exactly. DEANWe're digging tonight, aren't we?     INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET - LATER The crew is cleaning up for the day. SET WORKERThat's a wrap, people! 6:00 AM call for crew tomorrow! JAYGreat work, everybody! McG, you're a genius.(He shakes McG's hand)You're kicking ass and taking names. McGNight, Jay.     EXT. "HOLLYWOOD FOREVER" CEMETERY - NIGHT SAM and DEAN are walking through, shovels in hand. SAMWhich way? DEAN(reading a map)Uh... over here. (they walk a little further) Hey. SAMYeah? DEAN gestures to a memorial for Humpty Dumpty. DEANThis map is totally worth the five bucks! Hey, we've gotta go check out Johnny Ramone's grave when we're done here. SAMYou wanna dig him up, too? DEANBite your tongue, heathen!(passing another memorial)Oh, that's cool. SAMYou know, Dean, what I don't get is why now? I mean, after seventy-five years, Elise Drummond suddenly goes homicidal, you know? Why this movie? DEANWell, maybe she's mad they're making a scary ghost flick. SAMCome on, is it really that scary? DEANHere we go. They reach Elise's headstone. SAMYep. All right. DEANYahtzee. They start digging.      STAGE 9 MOVIE SET JAY is all alone on the dark set, talking on his cell phone. JAYI know. No, I friggin' hate McG's dailies. I can't control the guy. I'm telling you, next one, I'm directing myself.(...)What, you? No, Bob. You, I love. You're a genius! You're kicking ass and taking names.(...)Yeah, okay. Yeah. Talk to you later, babe. Uh-huh. (He hangs up)What a dick. The lights suddenly go out on the set. JAYOh, great. Hey, guys! Producer walking here, hello!     EXT. "HOLLYWOOD FOREVER" CEMETERY The boys have finished digging. DEAN is in the grave, and opens the coffin to see Elise's corpse. They pour salt and kerosene over the bones and burn them.    INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET While JAY tries to get around the forest scenery in the dark, he sees a man walk by. JAYHey! Hey, pal! Can you, uh, show me to the exit? I can't see a damn thing here.(The man, turned away from JAY, doesn't move)Hey! Hey, putz! I'm talking to you! Somebody could get hurt here. Suddenly, the man turns around. His face has been slashed, and a section of his skull has been split open. He has blood running down his mouth. JAY screams and falls to the ground. JAYWhat the hell? Suddenly, the fans on set turn on by themselves. The ghost flickers and vanishes. JAY tries to crawl away, but the fan drags him backwards. He gets sucked into the fan and torn apart, blood spraying everywhere. == ACT THREE ==  CUT TO: "HELL HAZERS 2" MOVIE TRAILER The preview for the film, "Hell Hazers 2" begins playing on the screen. "WENDY" enters the abandoned house, flashlight in hand. VOICEOVERThey never forgive. They never forget. WENDY(in the woods)Mitch? Ashley? VOICEOVERAnd this summer, they're coming back again to settle the score... ...again. WENDYYou out here? She suddenly turns and looks into the camera and screams. There is a quick montage of clips from the film. BRODYAshley and Todd - they're dead! Wendy, they're dead! New scene. MITCHThese bastards aren't taking us. Not without a fight. New scene. BRODYI am getting out of here right now! WENDYBrody! Short clips from the movie play on the screen: "WENDY" reading in Latin, "KENDRA" screaming, the characters running through the woods. VOICEOVERFrom the producers of Cornfield Massacre, Monster Truck, and the director of Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, and Hell Hazers, comes a new experience in terror. MITCH V.OWe must have brought them back. Back from Hell. Again. VOICEOVERHell Hazers 2: The Reckoning. This film is not yet rated.       INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET - MORNING SAM and DEAN watch as the police examine the crime scene where JAY was killed. SAMRun-in with a giant fan. Same thing happened to an electrician back in '66, a guy named Billy Beard. DEANWhat the hell, dude? SAMI don't know. Doesn't seem like Elise this time, either. It's not her M.O. DEANNo, we already torched her. So, what, are we dealing with another ghost? SAMMaybe. DEANYeah, but these things don't usually tag-team.     EXT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET Outside in the lot, McG is getting out of his car. He gathers the cast and crew, including DEAN and SAM. McGEverybody! Gather around, okay! I've got an announcement to make.(handing his car keys to a P.A.)Hold that for me. (calling out)Everyone! Huddle in! In light of Jay's accident last night, and in cooperation with the authorities, we're shutting down production for a few days. I know, I know. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. We've had a few setbacks this week. But we all know what Jay and Brad wanted more than anything. And that was to see Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning on screens all across America! Now, we owe it to them to go on, and to pull together and make this damn movie, huh? There is cheers and applause from the crowd. McGBut – but but but not today. Go home. Someone will call you.     INT. TRAILER - LATER SAM is back inside, watching more of the dailies. "WENDY" is reading in Latin when she is interrupted by "KENDRA". ''KENDRA''''Wendy, don't.'' ''WENDY''''What are you, afraid of ghosts? Come on, it'll be fun.'' DEAN enters. DEANHey. SAMHey. So, you find out where the electrician's buried? DEANHe wasn't. Billy Beard was cremated. SAMGreat. Now what? DEANNo idea. Any more ghost cameos in the dailies? SAMNot in the first six hours. You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie 'cause they think it sucks. 'Cause, I mean, it kind of does. WENDY''Come on, it'll be fun.'' She continues reading in Latin. SAM suddenly notices something and rewinds. He sits up and listens closer to the Latin. SAMListen to the invocation. Dean, that's the real deal – a necromantic summoning ritual. What the hell is that doing in a Hollywood movie?    INT. MOVIE STUDIOS MARTY, the writer, is on the phone in his office. MARTYNo, dude, we're down for a few days - force majeure. (...)Yeah. It's cool, though. Gives me time to pitch that time-travel thing.(...)Yeah. All right, well look, get back to me on this, all right? Seriously.(...)No, I'm serious.(...)Dude, are you serious? 'Cause I'm serious.(He notices SAM and DEAN at the door)All right. Cool.(He hangs up)Guys, we're all shut down. What are you still doing here? SAMYeah, um, whez, is ... sorry, man. We– we– we couldn't help ourselves. We just had to tell you that we read the script. MARTYAnd? SAMYeah. (nodding) It's – uh – it's awesome. DEANAwesome. SAMReally awesome. MARTY (smiling at the flattery) I know, it's pretty rockin', right? I'm glad you guys liked it. SAMYeah, yeah, yeah, I really liked, uh, all the attention to detail. MARTYDude, right on, that's my thing. I mean, you know, color me guilty, but that is me. I'm, I'm, I'm a total detail buff. SAMNo, I can tell. I mean, the way you worked in all those, all those Enochian summoning rituals and all the authentic language. MARTY(smile fading)What, you mean that Latin crap? No, man, that's Walter. Walter Dixon, the original writer. You like that garbage? DEANWait, "Walter the P.A." Walter? MARTYNo, he's not a P.A. He's got a clause in his contract that allows him to come on set. DEANBut he wrote the invocations? MARTYHe wrote a whack-job screenplay. There's no pace, there's no love interest, it's all wackadoo exposition. I had to cut, like, ninety percent of it to make it readable, the other ten percent to make it good. DEAN and SAM laugh.    INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET - LATER The brothers are reading WALTER'S screenplay, Lord of the Dead. DEANShould've kept Walter's original script. It's actually pretty good. SAMYeah. And it reads like a how-to manual of conjuration, like a textbook on how to summon ghosts and get them to do whatever you want. DEANYeah, like kill people. SAMYep. So, let's say somewhere down the line, Walter learned some pretty black magic. DEANYeah. And let's say he's pissed at these people for wrecking his movie. SAMMotive and means. DEANIt's worth checking out.     INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET; FOREST SCENERY MARTY is walking among the forest scenery and spots WALTER. MARTYSo, you wanted to meet?(No response)Hey, I'm a little busy here, buddy. I'm working on a script. WALTEROh, yeah. You guys worked on it a lot. MARTYIt needed work. Now, why couldn't we have done this in my office? WALTERYou know, the history, the lore in my draft was completely accurate. We could've gotten it right for the first time ever in this whorehouse of a town. But, you tore it to shreds. You replaced it with cleavage and fart jokes. (sighs) It was real. MARTYWho gives a rat's ass about "real"? We're talking about ghosts here, Walter. There's no such thing. WALTERThat's where you're wrong, Martin. He raises his hand, holding a talisman, and begins chanting in Latin. MARTY rolls his eyes. MARTYOkay, nutjob. End of meeting. He turns around and comes face-to-face with the same ghost that killed JAY. He screams. == ACT FOUR ==  The fans turn on. MARTY is on the ground, being dragged by the ghost towards the fans. MARTYOh, God, no! Please, no! WALTERYou ruined it, Martin! Everything I worked for! MARTYOh, oh, oh. Oh, God! Walter! WALTERNow you're gonna find out what being a ghost is really like. MARTYWalter, please! Walter, help me! Heeeeeee– Just as he is inches away from the fan, a shotgun goes off, blasting the ghost away. DEAN approaches, weapon in hand, while SAM turns off the fan. MARTYYou are one hell of a P.A. DEANYeah, I know. WALTERWhat are you doing? SAMI could ask you the same thing, Walter. WALTER begins climbing up the stairs to the scaffolding. SAM (cont'd)Raising these spirits from the dead? Making them murder for you? That's playing with fire, Walter. WALTERYou don't understand. SAMYou know what? You're right, I don't understand. WALTERJust... wait, look. You put your heart and soul into something, years of hard work. It's years, and then they take it! And they crap all over it! (DEAN looks at MARTY, who shakes his head like WALTER doesn't know what he's talking about.) And then – and then they want you to smile and say, "Thank you". SAMWalter, listen. It's just a movie. That's it. WALTER(scoffs)Look... I've got nothing against you, man. You're not part of this. Just please, please, just leave. But Martin's gotta stay. DEANSorry, can't do that. It's not that we like him or anything, it's ... just a matter of principle. WALTERThen I'm sorry, too. He raises the talisman again. SAMWalter. Walter, pl- Don't. WALTER begins chanting. The set begins to shake, and three ghosts appear, including the man who murdered JAY. DEANSam! DEAN raises his shotgun. The ghosts, all of whom are mangled in some way, begin walking closer. DEAN (cont'd)Come on, come on! Suddenly, they disappear. Then, out of nowhere, SAM is knocked to the floor - the ghosts are now invisible. DEAN helps him up. DEANCome on, come on! Move! The brothers and MARTY begin running away while the lights on set begin shorting out, lots of sparks flying. The three of them run into another building and shut the door behind them. DEAN reloads his gun. DEAN quotes Bruce Willis as "John McClane" from "Die Hard", with accent and all. This includes the light shining down over his features, similar to that of the original "Die Hard" scene. DEAN (sarcastically) "Come out to the coast! We'll get together, have a few laughs!" Then DEAN turns around and realizes they the building they entered is actually just the set for the abandoned house. It's completely open on the other wall – they haven't actually reached any real shelter.) DEANOh, man! MARTYI can't believe this. Ghosts are real! DEANWhat makes you say that? They look around, ready to fight. MARTYBut I don't understand. How is Walter controlling them? SAMProbably that talisman. Suddenly, SAM takes out his cell phone. MARTYWhat are you doing? SAMI mean, if film cameras pick these suckers up, then... maybe, uh... He uses his cell phone camera to scan the room. The audience watches the screen on his cell-phone, together with him. He suddenly sees one of the ghosts a few feet away, heading straight for DEAN. SAMDean! Right there! SAM points and DEAN shoots it. We see through SAM's cell how the ghost disappears. SAM (cont'd)Got him.(He picks up another ghost)Hey! Right there! DEAN shoots again. They then notice WALTER walking around the upper level. SAM hands his phone to MARTY. SAMHere, you get the idea? MARTYYeah. SAMAll right, you hold them off. I'm going after Walter. He leaves the set. MARTYI cannot believe there's an afterlife. DEANOh, there's an afterlife, all right. But mostly, it's a pain in the ass. MARTY keeps scanning the room with the phone. MARTYThere! MARTY ducks to his left as DEAN shoots.      EXT. STAGE 9 WALTER leaves the set through the back exit and comes face-to-face with SAM. SAMIt's over, Walter. Now give it to me. WALTER throws the talisman on the ground, shattering it. WALTERThere! Okay, now no one can have it. SAMI wouldn't have done that if I were you. WALTEROh, yeah? SAMYeah. WALTERAnd why not? SAMBecause you just freed them. We can't stop them now. Walter, you brought them back, forced them to murder. They're not gonna be very happy with you. MARTY and DEAN join them outside. WALTERYeah? So, why not? He suddenly falls to the ground and begins screaming in pain. Blood begins to seep through his clothing. MARTY raises the cell phone and sees all of the ghosts tearing WALTER apart. == ACT FIVE == INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET - A FEW DAYS LATER The crew has resumed filming. "KENDRA" and "MITCH" are now in the abandoned house. "KENDRA" is scanning the room with her cell phone, the same kind as SAM has. KENDRAOh, God. Oh, God. There! "MITCH" shoots. From the sidelines, McG is watching, ecstatic. KENDRABut I don't understand. How can the spirits appear in the camera phone? MITCHThe video must pick up their frequencies in a way that our eyes can't. KENDRAOh, God. Oh, God. Right there! "MITCH" shoots again. McGCut! Oh, print that one. That's in the movie! Oh! Loved it, kids. Loved it. MARTY and SAM are also watching from the sidelines. SAMYou find out there's an afterlife, and this is what you do with it? MARTY(looks up from texting, grinning)I needed a little jazz on the page.     EXT. STAGE LOT SAM is walking among the trailers. When he passes TARA'S trailer, the door opens, and DEAN comes out, clearly disheveled. DEAN smirks. TARA comes outside as well, wearing a robe. TARA (smiling at DEAN) You're one hell of a P.A. DEANThank you. TARA(noticing Sam)Hi. SAM looks awkward.  DEAN and SAM walk away; DEAN grabs a sandwich.  They walk off toward a painted sunset, which crew roll away.  DEANGod, I love this town. The painted sunset has finished rolling away, revealing a sunset over the Hollywood Hills.   ; End of Episode  [[Category:Transcripts]]