spamteam
820
edits
Changes
From Super-wiki
→ACT: FOUR
== TEASER ==
FADE IN: WOODS - NIGHT
A young girlwoman, WENDY, is exiting an abandoned house. She is searching with a flashlight, clearly scared.
WENDY
She hears movement behind her and stops crying. When she turns, she lets out a long, loud scream, that's sort of a yell, but quickly begins to look annoyed.
It is revealed that the girl woman is on a movie set. A camera is in her face, with a tennis ball fixed to the top, representing the monster she's supposed to be screaming at. She stops screaming, looking disgusted. The director, McG, watches from the sidelines.
McG
(under his breath to the other guy)
What the hell was that?
The lights come up on the set. A props guy takes the flashlight from the actress playing Wendy, TARA BENCHLEY. A production assistant, WALTER DIXON, hands TARA a Snapple.
TARA
Thanks, Walter.
McG (To crew:)
Don't – don't mark that.
McG walks over to TARA, who is shaking up her drink.
McG
It's all good, Tara, that was great. Let's do it again. Uh, maybe .... try dialing up that scream, huh?
TARA
McG
Oh, that is just for CG registration. Now, when Ivan and the FX guys are done, it is going to look terrifying. (He turns to snap at someone. An assistant brings over a notebook full of sketches of the monster.) Do you wanna look at the concept sketches again? Will that help? An assistant brings over a notebook full of sketches of the monster.
TARA
Hello? Guys? Come on, it's not funny.
(No answer)
Okay, hahahaha ha, very funny.
(Again, she hears some sound, like panting)
Hello? Who's there?
She keeps walking among the forest scenery, until she sees a baseball cap fall in front of her. She looks up to the scaffolding and very quickly briefly sees a male ghost, before it vanishesflickers. Then, she notices that FRANK is dead, lying on his stomach while blood covers his face. She lets out a long, bloodcurdling scream.
On the other side of the set, McG and the production crew hear TARA'S scream.
END TEASER
== ACT ONE ==
EXT. LOS ANGELES, WARNER BROS. STUDIOS - DAY
SAM and DEAN are taking part in the trolley tour of the studio, passing by movie and television sets.
TOUR GUIDE(on a P.A.)
First opened in 1927, the lot has been in continuous operation for eight decades.
DEAN
Hey, you know this is where they filmed "Creepshow"?
The boy ignores looks at himlike he's a doofus and says nothing.
TOUR GUIDE
Now, to the right, here is Stars Hollow. It's the setting for the television series, Gilmore Girls. And if we're lucky, we might even catch one of the show's stars.
SAM, looking uncomfortable, turns to DEAN, who gives him a thumbs up.
SAM
DEAN hops off as well, and they continue walking around the lot.
DEAN[looking excited]
Sammy, check it out, it's Matt Damon!
SAM
Ahhh, I don't think so.
(noticing a sign)
Hey, this way. , uh, I think Stage 9 is over here.
DEAN
DEAN
Yeah, for a vacation. I mean, swimming pools and movie stars, not ! Not to work.
SAM
DEAN
Yeah. I just figured that , you know, after everything that happened with ... Madison, y-you could use a little R-and-R, that's all.
SAM
DEAN
Okay, okay. All , all right. So, this crew guy - what did he, he died on set?
SAM
Yeah, uh, rumors spreading like wildfire online . They're saying the set's haunted.
DEAN
Like "Poltergeist"?
SAM
DEAN
No, no, no. Like, the movie "Poltergeist".
(SAM shrugs)
You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you? It was rumored that the set of "Poltergeist " was cursed. That they used real human bones as, uh, as props. And, like, at least three of the actors died in it.
SAM
DEAN
SAM
Well, no. But , uh, it's LA, you know? It might not even be his real name. But the girl who found him , she said she saw something - a vanishing figure.
DEAN
SAM
Uh, Tara Benchley.?
DEAN(grinning with fannish enthusiasm) Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tara Benchley? From FeardotCom "Fear dot Com" and "Ghost Ship", Tara Benchley? Dude, why didn't you say so?
SAM
DEAN
(becoming seriousplaying it cool)Oh, I just - I mean, I'm just a fan of her work. SheIt's very good. He walks away. SAM follows.
BRAD
No, look, don't get me wrong. Everyone at the studio loves the dailies, myself included. We were just wondering if it could be... you know, a little brighter.?
JAY
BRAD
Yeah, Jay. More color. (Jay nods.) McG, you know what I'm saying, you're the master of that stuff.
McG
BRAD
He notices SAM and DEAN enter the set.
BRAD
Uh, excuse me, Green Shirt Guy?
(DEAN points to himselfquizzically)
Yeah, you. Come here.
SAM
Yeah, yeah... he uh, one ... One smoothie coming right up.
They walk away.
I think they're kind of like slaves.
They give turn around as they're walking and SAM gives BRAD a reassuring thumbs-up.
BRAD
They'll let anybody in this business, huh?
More incredulous scoffing.
CUT TO:
Later, the cast and crew are getting ready to resume shooting. DEAN is walking in with a tray of smoothies. (Various: "let me lift that..." "That's good, right there!" "Hey guys, c'mere!" "All right, let's go people!" "Yeah, when Tara says her lines, can I step forward and make this ..." "Sure, sure, sure, " ... "quiet, please!" "on the bell!" "lights! All right, hold the noise, we're rolling!") DEAN sets down the tray of smoothies he had gotten and starts to go up the stairs to the scaffolding. Suddenly, the lights on set go down, and the actors begin their take.
McG
Why don't we take it from, uh ... "Come on, it'll be fun." And, action!
The actors are now standing inside the abandoned house, and "WENDY", played by TARA, has a book open in front of her.
She begins reading from the book in very choppy Latin. While she is doing so, DEAN makes his way up the scaffolding. He takes out his EMF meter and scans the area, but nothing happens. Meanwhile, TARA is trying her best to read the Latin, but is barely getting through it.
McG O.S(off-screen)
Maybe we'll finish this up tomorrow.
TARA
(breaking character)
Oh my God, I hate you so much right now.You know?
McG
DEAN
Well, I think being a P.A. sucks. But ... the food these people get, are you kidding me? Look I mean look at these things.(He picks up a tiny sandwich)
They're like miniature Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. They're delicious.
DEAN
What'd you find out about the dead crew guy?
SAM has trouble taking his eyes off of DEAN's devouring of the sandwich.
SAM
Uh ... Frank Jaffey was just filling in for the day. Nobody here knew him or where he lived or anything.
DEAN
SAM
No, not quite-. I–
WALTER approaches.
WALTER
Hey, guys.
DEAN
Oh, hey.
WALTER
Sorry. (he leans in between them to pick up a sandwich)
DEAN
That's all right.
He watches WALTER walk away with a sandwich.
DEAN (cont'd)
TARA
Yeah. My big break.
(She laughs)
You know, I know it's ... really uncool to say this, but II–I'm a big fan. I loved you in Boogeyman.
TARA
Yeah.
(pause)
You found him, right? The ... the dead guy?
(She goes quiet and looks away)
I'm sorry, you probably don't even wanna talk about this.
TARA
No, no, actually. It's – it's okay. Nobody around here really brings it up very much. (whispers) I think they're all scared I'm gonna have some kind of breakdown.
DEAN
TARA
It was horrible. There – there was all this blood coming from his eyes and from his mouth. And, uh... I saw this, um...
She stops, embarrassed.
TARA
I saw this shape. To tell you the truth, I I–I don't know actually , what I saw. I just know I saw it.
WALTER approaches.
DEAN
TARA
TARA (cont'd)
DEAN looks at it closely and notices something.
Son of a bitch.
; SCENE
INT. ST. JAMES RESIDENCE
GERARD
Uh, no.?
DEAN
DEAN
I knew I recognized you. I am a huge fan. Heh heh. I mean, your turn as a tractor crash victim in Critters 3?3—
GERARD
GERARD
Well, rumors of a haunted film set, free publicity, especially when you're making a horror movie. ItI mean, uh, it's already all over the Internet.
SAM
GERARD
These days, it's all about new media, building buzz. They say I'm the new LonelyGirl"lonelygirl".
DEAN
DEAN
Isn't that kind of cruel? Messing with their heads like that?
GERARD
Hey, I just play the part. I don't write the script. Speaking of, I'm playing Willy in a, in a dinner theatre theater production of Salesman at Costa Mesa, all next month.
(He hands DEAN a flyer)
You get a free pepper steak with the coupon.
DEAN(laughs) Now, wait a second. If you're, if you're seen in public, won't that ruin the hoax?
GERARD
(scoffs) Oh, please. (to SAM) Frank and Willy? Totally different characters.
SAM
You know what? Thanks very much, Mr. St. James. It was just nagging at us. , you know? But we're – we're very glad... you know, you're alive and well.
DEAN
; SCENE STAGE 9 MOVIE SET The actors playing "MITCH" and "KENDRA" are filming in the abandoned house.
MITCH
When we read from that book, we must have brought them back. Back from hellHell.
While "KENDRA" delivers her line, DAVE, the sound guy, receives a staticky feedback through his headphones, distorting the dialogue.
It doesn't matter. We're not going anywhere until we find Wendy and her sister. Got it? Good. Now let's get busy.
McG(smiling)
Cut! Very nice.
SET WORKER
Another costly sound delay. (yelling) All right, we're going again for sound, people!
DAVE
BRAD
No, no, no, no, look. It's a great scene, really, dynamite. But I've still got a few... not ...not problems, just questions.
McG
BRAD
Well, for one thing, (sighs) the rules aren't really landing for me. Like, the kids do this Latin chant, and that makes the ghosts show up?
McG
BRAD
See, but if the ghosts are in hellHell, how do they hear the chanting? I mean, (scoffs) what do they have, super-hearing? It's a logic bump. The rules don't track.
McG
Suits.
BRAD wanders off to another area of the set, alone. While looking at his Blackberry, he notices a woman behind himoff to his side. She is in ghostly grey-and-white make-up from head to toe, dressed in as if from a robeblack-and-white film. She is wearing dark lipstick and a robe, and has black dark marks on her neck, clearly formed by ropes. She doesn't say anything, but smirks at him.
BRAD
Has McG seen this? I like the whole body paint, black-and-white thing. But gee, I don't think those neck wounds are really gonna read on camera. They need to be red. You know what I'm saying?
(he turns away and starts to walk away, calling to the other end of set)
Hey, Jay? I need to speak to make-up right away.
The woman moves closer zaps up behind him, and taps him on the shoulder. He turns back around to face her.
BRAD
Yeah?
The woman, still silent, takes off her robe in front of him. BRAD looks her up and down, then watches as she turns and walks up the stairs to the scaffolding.
BRAD
(smirking)
A few minutes later, the actors have resumed filming.
MITCH
When we read from that book, we must have brought them back. Back from hellHell.
KENDRA
But I don't understand. If they were in hellHell, how could they hear our chanting?
MITCH
They must have super-hearing!
Suddenly, the ceiling of the abandoned house caves in. The actors start and McG bolts to his feet, and yelling in surprise. The crash was BRAD 's body, falls throughthe top of the set, hanging from a noose. The actors scream and run off set. BRAD'S s body spins on the rope, and his Bluetooth falls to the floor as he hangs there, dead.
== ACT TWO ==
CUT TO: THE NEXT MORNING
TARA
(breaking character)
(sighs) Can we – can we cut or something?
McG
DEAN
(wearing a headset; loudly, to the crew)
That's a cut!
He resumes eating his taquito.
McG (to a crew)
Only I can say cut.
McG
McG
Well, with everything that's been going on around here, who can blame youya, huh?
TARA
I, I I just can't wrap my head around the dialoguedialog, you know? Salt? Doesn't that sound silly? I mean, why would a ghost be afraid of salt?
DEAN smirks.
MARTY
(to JAY)
What would a ghost be scared of? Maybe , uh, maybe shotguns.
McG
Okay, that makes even less sense than salt.
WALTER(irritated) These people are idiots. WALTER leaves in annoyance.
DEAN
SAM
Dean, you, you know when I ask how it's going in here, I'm talking about the case, right? We don't really work here. You know, I thought you hated being a P.A.
DEAN(shuffling his feet) I don't know. It's not so bad. I kind of feel like part of the team, you know?It's good –
(holding out his plate)
SAM
SAM
"Copy that"?
DEAN
SAM
Uh, uh .. . uh. The newspaper's right: Brad's a doornail, no question about it.
DEAN
Thanks.
SAM listens to the audio of one of the scenes in the movie. ('' Doesn't matter. We're not leaving til; we find Wendy and your sister. [static] '') Midway through the dialogue, the sound becomes staticky and distorted. SAM exchanges a look with DEAN.
I don't know. I think we should take a look at Brad's death scene.
Daytime. Outside in the lot, DEAN leads SAM to one of the trailers. Once inside, DEAN pops a DVD into the television. SAMHey, where'd you get this DVD?
DEAN
MITCH
(from the tape)
''They must have super-hearing.''
Suddenly, BRAD falls through the ceiling of the set, hanging by a noose.
DEAN
It's like "Three Men and a Baby " all over again.
(SAM looks at him, confused)
Selleck, Danson, and Guttenberg. And... I don't know who played the baby.
DEAN
There's a scene in the movie where people say that the, the camera caught a ghost on film. Apparently, in the background of one of the scenes, there was this boy that nobody remembers from set. Spirit photography.
SAM
; SCENE
INT. STAGE 9 BEHIND THE MOVIE SET
(to SAM)
I'm sorry, what were you saying?
SAM shakes his head in exasperation.
SAM
Elise Drummond -- – starlet back in the thirties. Had an affair with a studio exec. He uses her up, fires her, leaves her destitute, so Elise hangs herself from Stage 9's rafters, right into a scene they're shooting.
DEAN
DEAN
We're digging tonight, aren't we?
EXT. "HOLLYWOOD FOREVER" CEMETARY CEMETERY - NIGHT
SAM and DEAN are walking through, shovels in hand.
DEAN
(reading a map)
Uh... over here. (they walk a little further) Hey.
SAM
They start digging.
What, you? No, Bob. You, I love. You're a genius! You're kicking ass and taking names.
(...)
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Talk to you later, babe. Uh-huh.
(He hangs up)
What a dick.
EXT. "HOLLYWOOD FOREVER" CEMETERY
The boys have finished digging. DEAN is in the grave, and opens the coffin to see Elise's corpse. They pour salt and kerosene over the bones and burn them.
INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET
JAY
Hey! Hey, pal! Can you , uh, show me to the exit? I can't see a damn thing here.
(The man, turned away from JAY, doesn't move)
Hey! Hey, putz! I'm talking to you! Somebody could get hurt here.
Suddenly, the fans on set turn on by themselves. The ghost flickers and vanishes. JAY tries to crawl away, but the fan drags him backwards. He gets sucked into the fan and torn apart, blood spraying everywhere.
== ACT THREE ==
CUT TO: "HELL HAZERS 2" MOVIE TRAILER
MITCH V.O
We must have brought them back. Back from hellHell. Again.
VOICEOVER
Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning. This film is not yet rated.
INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET - MORNING
SAM and DEAN watch as the police examine the crimescene crime scene where JAY was killed.
SAM
DEAN
Yeah, but these things don't usually tag-team.
(handing his car keys to a P.A.)
Hold that for me.
(calling out)
Everyone! Huddle in! In light of Jay's accident last night, and in cooperation with the authorities, we're shutting down production for a few days. I know, I know. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. We've had a few setbacks this week. But we all know what Jay and Brad wanted more than anything. And that was to see Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning on screens all across America! Now, we owe it to them to go on , and to pull together and make this damn movie, huh?
There is cheers and applause from the crowd.
McG
But – but but but not today. Go home. Someone will call you.
SAM is back inside, watching more of the dailies. "WENDY" is reading in Latin when she is interrupted by "KENDRA".
''KENDRA''''Wendy, don't.''
''WENDY''''What are you, afraid of ghosts? Come on, it'll be fun.''
DEAN enters.
DEAN
No idea. Anymore Any more ghost cameos in the dailies?
SAM
Not in the first six hours. You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because 'cause they think it sucks. Because'Cause, I mean, it kind of does.
WENDY
''Come on, it'll be fun.''
She continues reading in Latin. SAM suddenly notices something and rewinds. He sits up and listens closer to the Latin.
SAM
Listen to the invocation. Dean, that's the real deal -- – a necromantic summoning ritual. What the hell is that doing in a Hollywood movie?
MARTY
No, dude, we're down for a few days - force majeure.
(...)
Yeah. It's cool, though. Gives me time to pitch that time-travel thing.
(...)
Yeah. All right, well look, get back to me on this, all right? Seriously.
(...)
No, I'm serious.
SAM
Yeah, uhum, whez, is ... sorry, man. We We– we– we couldn't help ourselves. We just had to tell you that we read the script.
MARTY
SAM
Yeah. Uh... (nodding) It's – uh – it's awesome.
DEAN
Really awesome.
MARTY(smiling at the flattery)
I know, it's pretty rockin', right? I'm glad you guys liked it.
SAM
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really liked , uh, all the attention to detail.
MARTY
Dude, right on, that's my thing. Color I mean, you know, color me guilty, but that is me. I'm, I'm, I'm a total detail buff.
SAM
No, I can tell. I mean, the way you worked in all those, all those Enochian summoning rituals and all the authentic language.
MARTY
MARTY
He wrote a whack-job screenplay. There's no pace, there's no love interest, it's all wackadoo exposition. I had to cut, like, ninety percent of it to make it readable, the other ten percent to make it good.
DEAN and SAM laugh.
SAM
Yep. So, let's say somewhere down the line, Walter learned some pretty black magic.
DEAN
DEAN
It's worth checking out.
INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET; FOREST SCENERY
WALTER
You know, the history, the lore in my draft was completely accurate. We could've gotten it right for the first time ever in this whorehouse of a town. But , you tore it to shreds. You replaced it with cleavage and fart jokes. (sighs) It was real.
MARTY
Okay, nutjob. End of meeting.
He turns around and comes face-to-face with the same ghost that killed JAY. ScreamingHe screams. == ACT FOUR == The fans turn on. MARTY is on the ground, he falls to being dragged by the floor and begins to get dragged ghost towards the fans.
MARTY
MARTY
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, God! Walter!
WALTER
MARTY
Walter, please! Walter, help me!Heeeeeee–
Just as he is inches away from the fan, a shotgun goes off, blasting the ghost away. DEAN approaches, weapon in hand, while SAM turns off the fan.
WALTER
Just... wait, look. You put your heart and soul into something, years of hard work. It's years, and then they take it! And they crap all over it! (DEAN looks at MARTY, who shakes his head like WALTER doesn't know what he's talking about.) And then – and then they want you to smile and say, "Thank you".
SAM
DEAN
Sorry, can't do that. It's not that we like him or anything, it's ... just a matter of principle.
WALTER
SAM
Walter. Walter, pl- donDon't.
WALTER begins his chanting. The set begins to shake, and three ghosts appear, including the man who murdered JAY.
DEAN
Sam!
DEAN (cont'd)
Come on, come on.!
Suddenly, they disappear. Then, out of nowhere, SAM is knocked to the floor - the ghosts are now invisible. DEAN helps him up.
Come on, come on! Move!
The brothers and MARTY begin running away while the lights on set begin firing offshorting out, lots of sparks flying. The three of them run into another building and shut the door behind them. DEAN reloads his gun.
DEAN quotes Bruce Willis as "John McClane" from "Die Hard", with accent and all. This includes the light shining down over his features, similar to that of the original "Die Hard" scene.
DEAN(sarcastically)
"Come out to the coast! We'll get together, have a few laughs!"
DEAN
Probably that talisman.
Suddenly, he SAM takes out his cell phone.
MARTY
SAM
I mean, if film cameras pick these suckers up, then... maybe, uh...
He uses his cell phone camera to scan the room. The audience watches the screen on his cell-phone, together with him. He suddenly sees one of the ghosts a few feet away, heading straight for DEAN.
MARTY ducks to his left as DEAN shoots.
WALTER
There! Okay, okay? Now now no one can have it.
SAM
He suddenly falls to the ground and begins screaming in pain. Blood begins to seep through his clothing. MARTY raises the cell phone and sees all of the ghosts tearing WALTER apart.
== ACT FIVE ==
INT. STAGE 9 MOVIE SET - A FEW DAYS LATER
McG
Cut! Oh, print that one. That's in the movie! Oh! Loved it, kids. Loved it.
MARTY and SAM are also watching from the sidelines.
MARTY
(looks up from texting, grinning)
I needed a little jazz on the page.
SAM is walking among the trailers. When he passes TARA'S trailer, the door opens, and DEAN comes out, clearly disheveled. DEAN smirks. TARA comes outside as well, wearing a robe.
TARA(smiling at DEAN)
You're one hell of a P.A.
Hi.
SAM looks awkward.
DEAN and SAM walk away; DEAN grabs a sandwich.
They walk off toward a painted sunset, which crew roll away.
DEAN
God, I love this town.
The painted sunset has finished rolling away, revealing a sunset over the Hollywood Hills.
; End of Episode
[[Category:Transcripts]]
