15.18 Despair

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Title Despair
Episode # Season 15, Episode 18
First aired November 5, 2020
Directed by Richard Speight, Jr.
Written by Robert Berens
On IMDB Despair
Outline The Winchesters, Castiel, and Jack search for a way to kill Death.
Monster Chuck
Timeline Immediately after 15.17 Unity
Location(s) Lebanon, Kansas
The Empty
Hastings, Minnesota
Death's Library
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Sam, Dean and Cas are helping Jack into a room in the bunker. He is dying from a spell to kill Chuck. Billie appears and says, they have done enough. Standing with her sickle. She tells them that their plan was doomed, because of them. She can not stop the process of what Jack is going through. She makes him Jack disappear from his chair. He is in the empty. Meg, the empty, is seated in front of him. She asks him how he got there. Then he explodes.

     Billie tells them, that Jack is in the empty. It's a place that can absorb the impact. 

It was intended for cosmic forces, Chuck. Cas asks if he is dead. She tells them that the Empty is not as powerful as Chuck, if he survives, the cosmic entity will be pissed. It has a beef with Billie for doing this. It won't bother her on Earth, but if summoned it could hurt her. She tells them that she will not bring him back till he gives her the book he took from her library.

     Jack is alive, in the Empty. A black goo forms into Meg, again. It is mad. At the 

bunker, Sam brings the book to Billie. He drops it on the table and walks away. She reads it and smiles at what she reads at the ending, the ending has changed. Dean demands she bring Jack back. The Empty approaches Jack, he is unable to move. It puts its hands on both of his checks. He is back at the bunker. All three go to him, Billie says no, the boy is mine. Dean goes after her with her sickle and cuts her. She throws him against the wall and disappears. They all go to Jack. Sam picks up the book, it is sealed shut.

     Dean is at a table drinking whiskey. Sam comes in. They both can't sleep. Dean

apologizes for pulling a gun on him. Says he was ready and willing to kill Chuck. Now they have no one to help them, no one of power. Amara is gone and Michael is not answering their prayers.

     Billie is in her library. One of her helpers tells her that he did the warding she 

asked for, to keep out the Empty. He says, I get the plan has changed. She turns and tells him yes, it has.

     A woman is making eggs in a kitchen. Charlie is cleaning her weapons on the 

kitchen table. She is suppose to do that in another room. She pushes it all aside and the woman puts her eggs down and she eats. They are very good. The woman stands next to the counter and eats. She vanishes, her plates falls to the ground and breaks.

     Sam is taking a reading in the apartment Charlie shared with Stevie. She tells 

Sam and Dean how she met her, through Bobby on a case. Sam asks her what she saw. Saw or felt nothing. She was cooking and then she disappeared. Jack are by the Impala. He tells Cas he feels different. He was ready to die for Dean, Sam and the world. He tells Jack that they care for him, not because he is useful to them, but because you are you. He mentions how so many of power are so mad that them and he doesn't have his powers anymore. He is scared and so is Cas.

     Dean and Sam are telling Charlie of Deaths plan and she had sent Stevie back to

where she came from. Theirs a pattern. Sams phone rings, it's Bobby. He was on a case with one of the apocalypse world people. He disappeared. Sam says, it's spreading, anyone who crossed over and was resurrected are on Billies list. He realizes that Eileen is next. They leave. In the Impala Sam is texting Eileen until it stops. She no longer responds. When they get to Eileen she is gone, just her phone is left on the ground. He is upset and wants to round up everyone being targeted, get them safe and use warding to protect them. Dean wants to end it with Billie, she left her blade, he can kill her with that. Cas goes with Dean, Jack goes with Sam.

     Sam is speaking to Donna on his cell. They will meet up. He asks Jack to drive.

He needs to do research and contact people, he needs to drive. Jack is reluctant since he only drove one other time with Dean. He does the driving.

     Dean and Cas enter the bunker. They ascend the stairs quickly. Dean asks Cas if

he still has the key to Billies library, he grabs her blade. He wants to burn her library and smoke her out.

     At a tall red building like a silo. Donna and Sam meet. She hugs him and tells him

she is sorry about Eileen. She meets Jack again and give him a hug, and tells them that Bobby and his crew are in there. More are coming, Garth, Jodi and the girls. Then Charlie arrives dressed in camos She doesn't want this to happen to anyone else. Inside there are symbols all over the walls. Some are still painting them. Some are children. Bobby tells Sam he is the big man, the one in charge. He has one of Rowena's spells to strengthen the warding. Everyone is busy painting. Jack is one he notices a plant and puts his hand near it and it dies.

     Dean and Jack enter Billies library. They separate. Dean comes up behind her. 

She knows he is there. Cas is on the other side of her with an angel blade. She says hello boys. She asks, what's the plan to take me down with my own weapon? He mentions that she is killing her friends. He is thrown back against the wall, she reminds Cas how he stabbed her in her back with his blade. Dean pins her against the wall with her blade, and asks her to stop killing his people. She tells him it isn't her, he's in the wrong place.

     Sam is casting the spell to activate the symbols, they light up, then fade. Back at

library. Billie tells Dean, it must be Chuck, your wasting your time. At the silo, a little girl on a cost disappears. One by one they all do. Bobby and Sam look at each other, he disappears in a puff of smoke. Donna senses something, she is gone, too. Billy tells Dean that the wound he gave her is fatal, she shows it to him. It's something she can't survive. One thing she wishes before she dies is to see Dean dead. At the point she disarms him and takes back her blade. Both Dean and Cas are thrown back, they run for the door they came in.

     Jack looks around and sees no one but he and Sam in the room. At the bunker

Dean and Cas enter the room. They don't know what to do next. Seen behind Dean is Billie, her and clasped like crushing his heart. Dean clinches his chest from pain. She says, it's been you Dean, all along. Cas helps him out of the room. They fall in front of a book case. When she gets to it, they are gone. She follows them down a hallway. She is still taunting him, scrapping her blade against the brick wall. Isn't it time for the great release of death, she says. Once in a room. Cas pulls out a knife from Deans pocket and cuts his hand. He uses the blood to write a symbol on the door to keep her out. She keeps banging on the door, each time the symbol glows.

     They talk about what they need to do, fight. Dean is upset and says he lead them

into a trap, because he couldn't kill Chuck. He is upset with himself, it was Chuck all along. He knows everyone will die and it is his fault. Cas says, there is one thing she is afraid of and can hurt her. He tells Dean about the deal he made with the Cosmic Entity. When Jack was dying he made a deal with him. When he was really happy he would come and take him away forever. He wondered what his happiness would look like. Happiness is not in having but in being. He tells Dean, he sees him self as his enemies. Cas sees him differently, hate and anger is what drives him and that is what he is. All the good and bad are out of love and selflessness. Those around Dean know and see this in him. He tells Dean he is the most loving and selfless person ever knew. He says, knowing him has changed him. From the day he pulled him from hell. He cared about the whole world because of him. Cas crying says, you changed me Dean. Dean asks why this sounds like a goodbye. He tells him it is and that he loves him. The black goo comes into the room, the cosmic entity enters. Billy is behind him, he pushes Dean aside, a handprint in on his jacket like when Cas pulled him from hell. Then goo takes them both.

     Jack and Sam leave the silo. Sam tries to call Dean, there is no answer. Jack asks

if it was just them. Images of places empty, playgrounds, gas stations. Dean still on the floor see Sams name on his phone. He doesn't answer it. He puts his face in his hands and cries.






Billie: I think you've done enough. We were so close.

Dean: Chuck saw it coming, all of it, your whole plan!
Sam: It was doomed...

Billie: Because of you. It was doomed because of you.
Cosmic Entity: You're not looking so hot.

Jack: I'm sorry.

Cosmic Entity: Oh sh...
Castiel: Is he dead?

Billie: Maybe.
Dean: You said this was a suicide mission.
Billie: No, I said taking out Chuck and Amara would be fatal.
Castiel: It's a chain reaction.

Billie: Mmmhmm. The Empty? It's... different. Not as strong as Chuck or Amara, but... vast. But if Jack survives and if the Empty survives? It's gonna be pissed.
Sam: You were always gonna betray us. Once you defeated God, you were gonna take power. And that means everyone who got a free pass or a second chance, everyone who was resurrected or came from another world, you were gonna kill them all. Dean and me too. That's the order you want restored, that's always been your endgame!

Billie: You got me.

Castiel: You lied to everyone. Even the Empty, you promised it peace and quiet but you never meant it.
Cosmic Entity: You did this. You made it loud!
Jack: I feel... strange. I don't know if that's because of what happened to me, if it means something, or if I just feel strange because... it's over. The plan. My destiny. I was ready to die and, I wanted to, for Sam, for Dean, for the world. I wanted to make things right, and now... I don't know why I'm even here.

Castiel: Jack. You never needed absolution from Sam, or Dean, or from me. We don't care about you because you're useful or you fit into some grand design. We care about you because you're you.
Jack: God, the Empty, Billie, everyone's so mad at us and I don't have my powers. There's nothing I can do to protect us. I'm scared, Cass.

Castiel: I know. Me too.
Dean: Let's go, Cass. Let's go reap a Reaper.
Bobby: They get it, Sam. Now whether you like it or not, you're the big man here. Told 'em getting here was the order from the boss and they came running. No hesitation. My only worry is the lav situation. Didn't have time to truck in the Port-a-John.

Sam: Yeah, well if Dean and Cass can pull this off, we shouldn't be here too long.
Bobby: Okay. I brought a bucket. You think it'll work?
Sam: Well, angelic warding, Aramaic, Enochian and I have this. I found it in Rowena's things. A spell, "Praeses Magna." Should boost the strength of all the warding.
Bobby: "Should."

Sam: Bobby, this is all I got.
Billie: So, I guess this the part where I say "hello, boys." Hello, boys. What's the plan? Take me down with my own weapon?

Castiel: Something like that.
Billie: Well, he better work on his aim.
Dean: Thing is, that time, I wasn't trying to kill you.
Billie: Hmm. What's changed?
Dean: Oh, I don't know. Could be that you've started killing all my friends.

Billie: Interesting.
Dean: It's over. Call it off! Stop killing my people.

Billie: I didn't hurt your friends.
Dean: What?
Billie: You're in the wrong place, Dean.

Dean: What are you talking about?
Billie: If people are getting gone, I'm guessing it's Chuck. And that means you're just wasting time.
Billie: I'll let you in on something. When you cut me, that little nick? It was fatal, something I can't survive. See for yourself. You killed me, Dean. So yeah, no, I don't care about your friends. I don't care about your family. But seeing you here has reminded me of something. There is one thing I'd like. One wish before I go. I'd like to see you dead. I'm so glad you came.
Billie: It's you, Dean. It's always been you. Death-defying, rule-breaking. You are everything I lived to set right. To put down. To tame. You are human disorder incarnate.

Castiel: I've got you.

Billie: Come on, Dean. You can't escape me. Don't you think it's finally time? Time for the sweet release of Death?
Dean: I just led us into another trap. All because I -- I couldn't hurt Chuck. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill and because that's all I know how to do.

Castiel: Dean.

Dean: It was Chuck all along. We never should've left Sam and Jack. We should be there with them now. Everybody's gonna die, Cas, everybody. I can't stop it.
Castiel: I always wondered since I took that burden, that curse, what it could be. What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want...it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know...I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being...it's in just saying it."
Castiel: I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken. You're -- You're "Daddy's Blunt Instrument." And you think that hate and anger that's -- that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye?
Castiel: Because it is. I love you.
Dean: Don't do this, Cas. Cas.

Castiel: Goodbye, Dean.
Jack: Sam? Was it just them?
Sam: I don't know.

Trivia & References

We can briefly see that Chuck's Death Book has Alpha and Omega symbols on the cover. In the Book of Revelation (1:8) God is described as:
"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty."


Originally titled "Despair" which then changed to "The Truth" and then back to "Despair"
This was Richard Speight, Jr.'s 11th and final episode as a director.
Billie confirms that the Cosmic Entity was telling the truth about her plan to become the entity ruling the universe. She also reveals that she only said that Jack killing Chuck and Amara would be fatal, not that it would kill him, which Castiel realizes is because it would've set off a chain reaction.
Jack survives his detonation but is left completely powerless. However, after reading Chuck's Death Book, Billie indicates that he still has a role to play in Chuck's ultimate defeat.
The Cosmic Entity states that Jack "made it loud" when he detonated in the Empty, suggesting that something terrible happened. Previously, the Entity had stated that it was silent because all of the angels and demons were sleeping.
Sam: I need you to drive.

Jack: I... I only drove once.

In 14.07 Unhuman Nature, Dean taught Jack how to drive when he was dying for the first time.
Billie: Castiel. Remember when you stabbed me in the back? 'Cause I do.
Billie is referencing her first death in 12.09 First Blood.
Charlie's Building is named "Kim Manor" (it is seen etched on the front doors), a tribute to the late EP and director Kim Manners
When Jack tries to touch a flower, it wilts at his approach. Something similar to what happened when Amara touched flowers in 11.23 Alpha and Omega after mortally wounding Chuck.
In Castiel's speech he gave while dying in 12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You), he also spoke about how being with the Winchesters changed him and how he loves them, before he prepared to sacrifice himself for their safety.
When Castiel says that Dean sees himself as "Daddy's blunt instrument", it is a quote of the words Dean says to himself when he visited his own subconscious in 3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me:
"Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument."
Castiel's end speech also bears some similarity to the confrontation between him and Dean in 4.22 Lucifer Rising, where Castiel tells Dean all he sees inside him is his "guilt, anger, and confusion."
Before Castiel dies, he leaves a bloody handprint on Dean's shoulder, mirroring the burned handprint he left on Dean when he pulled him out of Hell in 4.01 Lazarus Rising. Misha Collins later revealed that the handprint was not scripted, but rather an idea that he, Jensen, and Richard Speight, Jr. workshopped on the day of filming.
As Castiel is taken by the Empty, the black tendrils briefly bear a visual symmetry to Castiel first unfurling his wings in 4.01 Lazarus Rising.
Following Castiel telling Dean "I love you," #Destiel and #DestielisCanon trended on Twitter. At the same time The Daily Mail and The NY Post published an unconfirmed story that Vladimir Putin was going to step down and #Putin started trending. Somehow the algorithm linked these two events on the list of trending topics, leading to many people confused about the connection!
After the episode, Misha tweeted: "#Supernatural Tonight, watching Cas talk to Dean, I got lost in the story and forgot for a moment that I'm the one who plays that angel and I thought, 'He's how I want to be. He's openhearted and he's selfless and he's true.' "
Seven members of the SPN cast attended Darklight Online Con 2020 the weekend after this episode aired, including Misha Collins, who discussed the confession scene (and its controversy amongst fans) while explaining to the other cast members who may not have seen the episode yet, "Castiel tells Dean he loves him and basically makes Destiel canon. So Castiel makes this homosexual declaration of love which is, you know, amazing that that happens, and then he dies right afterwards, which plays into a timeless Hollywood trope of 'kill the gays,' which also then pisses off- Like we give, and then we take away." At the con, Misha also said that he knew the confession was coming for more than a year, that Jensen knew about it for three months, and that Jensen had agreed to it. Richard Speight Jr, the director of this episode, said that he, Misha, Jensen, and other crew filmed the confession scene last because of the weight of it, that they all had drinks after, and then they boarded a plane that had one of its engines explode, making for a very emotional night. Misha also told this story, and how he felt filming that last scene, in a CW spot posted to twitter.

Sides, Scripts & Transcripts