Difference between revisions of "15.10 The Heroes' Journey (transcript)"
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{{TranscriptHead | {{TranscriptHead | ||
|Episode= [[15.10 The Heroes' Journey]] | |Episode= [[15.10 The Heroes' Journey]] | ||
− | |Writer= [[ | + | |Writer= [[Andrew Dabb]] |
− | |Director= [[ | + | |Director= [[John F. Showalter]] |
|AirDate=January 23, 2020 | |AirDate=January 23, 2020 | ||
}} | }} | ||
Line 8: | Line 8: | ||
==Teaser== | ==Teaser== | ||
− | [A woman is beating up a man in a cage fight. He’s knocked to the ground. He gets up and the woman lands several punches, knocking him to the ground again. The crowd is cheering. The man gets up and bares his teeth and claws. He is a werewolf. He slices the woman’s stomach as she attacks him. They circle around each other and a long spike extends from the woman’s wrist. She is a wraith. The fight continues with the wraith slashing and stabbing the werewolf until he is unconscious. The woman jumps around the cage riling up the crowd as blood pools around the werewolf’s head] | + | [A woman is beating up a man in a cage fight. He’s knocked to the ground. He gets up and the woman lands several punches, knocking him to the ground again. The crowd is cheering. The man gets up and bares his teeth and claws. He is a werewolf. He slices the woman’s stomach as she attacks him. They circle around each other and a long spike extends from the woman’s wrist. She is a wraith. The fight continues with the wraith slashing and stabbing the werewolf until he is unconscious. The woman jumps around the cage, riling up the crowd as blood pools around the werewolf’s head] |
==ACT I== | ==ACT I== | ||
− | [The following scenes jumps back and forth between Dean at the Kwik | + | [The following scenes jumps back and forth between Dean at the Kwik Trip and Sam at the bunker] |
[Dean is at the ‘Kwik Trip’ mini mart. He picks up beer and snacks.] | [Dean is at the ‘Kwik Trip’ mini mart. He picks up beer and snacks.] | ||
Line 42: | Line 42: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | What’s new? | |
TEDDY | TEDDY | ||
Line 98: | Line 98: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | What? No, no, no, | + | What? No, no, no, that’s... |
− | No, that | + | No, that card’s worked for like five years. |
TEDDY | TEDDY | ||
− | I | + | I – Sorry. |
[Sam is blowing on his hands, which are still hot] | [Sam is blowing on his hands, which are still hot] | ||
Line 148: | Line 148: | ||
[ Door closes ] | [ Door closes ] | ||
− | [Sam is in the kitchen stressing over the mess as he hears | + | [Sam is in the kitchen stressing over the mess as he hears Dean return from the store] |
− | Dean return from the store] | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 173: | Line 172: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | There’s a lotta that goin’ on. In town, I just got a parking ticket. | |
SAM | SAM | ||
Line 189: | Line 188: | ||
Oh, and, uh... | Oh, and, uh... | ||
− | This... | + | This...doesn’t work. |
[Dean takes the credit card out of his pocket and throws it down on the map table] | [Dean takes the credit card out of his pocket and throws it down on the map table] | ||
Line 195: | Line 194: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | That’s the card Charlie hacked for us, the one – | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Yeah, the one | + | Yeah, the one that’s supposed to be our “no more hustling, always working” Golden Ticket. |
Nothing. | Nothing. | ||
Line 209: | Line 208: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | That’s what I’m saying. | |
[ Sam sneezes ] | [ Sam sneezes ] | ||
Line 219: | Line 218: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | I | + | I don’t know. Maybe. |
− | Oh, and | + | Oh, and – and dinner’s – |
[ Sam sneezes ] | [ Sam sneezes ] | ||
Line 227: | Line 226: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Man, this day, | + | Man, this day, I’m telling you – |
[ Sam coughs ] | [ Sam coughs ] | ||
Line 237: | Line 236: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | It’s Garth. [ Cellphone beeps ] | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 245: | Line 244: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Hey, Dean, | + | Hey, Dean, it’s Garth. |
− | I, uh | + | I, uh – I need your help. |
− | [Sam sneezes ] | + | [ Sam sneezes ] |
🎶 | 🎶 | ||
Line 257: | Line 256: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | I’m telling you, man, we’re cursed. | |
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | We’re not cursed, Dean. We’re just having a bad day. | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 267: | Line 266: | ||
No. No, no, no. This is – This is more than just a no good, very bad day, okay? | No. No, no, no. This is – This is more than just a no good, very bad day, okay? | ||
− | Chuck | + | Chuck must’ve boned us before he left, you know? |
− | Or maybe some of that crap you brought back from | + | Or maybe some of that crap you brought back from Rowena’s went sideways. |
− | + | ‘Cause this? I mean... | |
[ Scoffs ] | [ Scoffs ] | ||
Line 295: | Line 294: | ||
Sorry. Look, just... | Sorry. Look, just... | ||
− | Okay, listen. Cass is in Heaven | + | Okay, listen. Cass is in Heaven – seeing if they know where Chuck went or anything. |
− | went or anything. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Oh, yeah, | + | Oh, yeah, ‘cause angels, they’re always really happy to help. |
SAM | SAM | ||
− | And | + | And I’m sick, and you got a ticket. It happens. |
− | + | We’ll deal, we – | |
[ Engine struggling ] | [ Engine struggling ] | ||
Line 311: | Line 309: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | What’s going on? What’re you doing? | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | I | + | I don’t know. |
− | No, no, baby, | + | No, no, baby, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. |
No, no, no, no, no. | No, no, no, no, no. | ||
Line 323: | Line 321: | ||
No, baby... | No, baby... | ||
− | Baby, please | + | Baby, please don’t do this. |
Seriously? Oh, come on! | Seriously? Oh, come on! | ||
Line 351: | Line 349: | ||
GARTH: | GARTH: | ||
− | + | Who’s daddy’s big boy? | |
Here comes the airplane! | Here comes the airplane! | ||
Line 363: | Line 361: | ||
There we go, buddy. | There we go, buddy. | ||
− | + | It’s good. | |
− | + | Isn’t that so good? | |
Hey, Sammy. | Hey, Sammy. | ||
Line 373: | Line 371: | ||
Rrrrr. | Rrrrr. | ||
− | Oh, yeah, | + | Oh, yeah, that’s good stuff, isn’t it? |
[The baby spits all over Garth’s napkin] | [The baby spits all over Garth’s napkin] | ||
Line 411: | Line 409: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | It’s gotta be. | |
Hey! There they are. Come in. | Hey! There they are. Come in. | ||
Line 427: | Line 425: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Oh. Oh, | + | Oh. Oh, I’m – I’m sick. |
Sorry. | Sorry. | ||
Line 452: | Line 450: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | And | + | And we’re done. |
[ Clears throat ] | [ Clears throat ] | ||
Line 462: | Line 460: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | We, uh | + | We, uh – W-We had to walk. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Yeah, car broke down about 10 miles back. I think | + | Yeah, car broke down about 10 miles back. I think it’s the plugs. |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
Line 474: | Line 472: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Yeah, | + | Yeah, we’re having a super normal day. |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Okay. Well, no worries. | + | Okay. Well, no worries. We’ll fix you up. |
GERTIE | GERTIE | ||
Line 492: | Line 490: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | You’ve got more kids? | |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
Line 498: | Line 496: | ||
Oh-ho-ho, yeah. | Oh-ho-ho, yeah. | ||
− | Got a | + | Got a couple’a pups. |
[Garth, Sam and Dean walk towards the kitchen] | [Garth, Sam and Dean walk towards the kitchen] | ||
Line 506: | Line 504: | ||
So, this is my daughter Gertie. | So, this is my daughter Gertie. | ||
− | Gertie, say hi to | + | Gertie, say hi to Daddy’s friends. |
GERTIE | GERTIE | ||
Line 526: | Line 524: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Wow. | + | Wow. That’s, uh...Wow. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | That means this one must be | + | That means this one must be – |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
Line 540: | Line 538: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Um | + | Um – |
[ Clears throat ] | [ Clears throat ] | ||
Line 548: | Line 546: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Oh, not mine, | + | Oh, not mine, Bess’s. |
− | + | He’s, uh – Well... | |
I think you should see for yourself. | I think you should see for yourself. | ||
Line 556: | Line 554: | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
− | I tried to wake him, but | + | I tried to wake him, but he’s in and out. |
[They are in a bedroom, the werewolf from the cage fight is laying on the bed, bloodied] | [They are in a bedroom, the werewolf from the cage fight is laying on the bed, bloodied] | ||
Line 562: | Line 560: | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
− | + | He’s hurt pretty bad. | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | This | + | This dude’s a werewolf? |
BESS | BESS | ||
Line 578: | Line 576: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | We’re not sure. Cops found him down around St. Cloud, in Minnesota. | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 586: | Line 584: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | That’s what the cops thought, too, but they’re not. They’re from a wraith. | |
− | Brad | + | Brad – whoever did this to him thought he was dead, and they dumped him in a swamp. |
But he somehow managed to climb out, and the cops found his body by the road. | But he somehow managed to climb out, and the cops found his body by the road. | ||
Line 602: | Line 600: | ||
Hmm. | Hmm. | ||
− | When he comes to, | + | When he comes to, we’ll ask him. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 620: | Line 618: | ||
Sorry. | Sorry. | ||
− | + | I’m, uh... | |
BESS | BESS | ||
− | Sick. I know. Come with me. | + | Sick. I know. Come with me. I’ve got something for you. |
[Dean and Garth follow Sam and Bess out of the room and downstairs] | [Dean and Garth follow Sam and Bess out of the room and downstairs] | ||
Line 634: | Line 632: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Yeah, better than I ever thought | + | Yeah, better than I ever thought I’d get. |
− | I mean, hunting | + | I mean, hunting – I figured I’d be dead before I’m 40. |
− | You know, go out young and pretty. But now | + | You know, go out young and pretty. But now I’ve got a great wife, great kids. |
− | great kids. | ||
I guess...sometimes things work out. | I guess...sometimes things work out. | ||
Line 659: | Line 656: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | What’s up with your teeth? | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 712: | Line 709: | ||
Oh, no. | Oh, no. | ||
− | You know what? | + | You know what? I’m good. |
[Garth muscles Dean into the dental chair] | [Garth muscles Dean into the dental chair] | ||
Line 722: | Line 719: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | No | + | No – |
− | + | You’re very strong. | |
Ohh. | Ohh. | ||
Line 732: | Line 729: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Uh, you know, you | + | Uh, you know, you – you – you really don’t have to – |
BESS | BESS | ||
− | + | It’s my daddy’s secret recipe. Cure everything and anything. | |
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | What’s in it? | |
BESS | BESS | ||
− | What part of | + | What part of “secret” don’t you understand? |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Garth, | + | Garth, you’re not a dentist. |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
Line 760: | Line 757: | ||
Anyway, after I left Hunting, I went back to school, got my degree. | Anyway, after I left Hunting, I went back to school, got my degree. | ||
− | Now | + | Now I’ve got a good little practice going. |
There. | There. | ||
− | + | It’s not like all the wolves around here can go to a regular doc. Can’t with all the cow hearts we eat. | |
− | Fang maintenance is a B. | + | Fang maintenance is a B. You’ve got to floss all the time. |
[Sam drinks the juice Bess gave him] | [Sam drinks the juice Bess gave him] | ||
Line 774: | Line 771: | ||
Mm. | Mm. | ||
− | Yeah, actually, | + | Yeah, actually, it’s – it’s not too, uh... |
[ Baby coos ] | [ Baby coos ] | ||
Line 782: | Line 779: | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
− | I will tell you | + | I will tell you it’s mostly cayenne pepper. |
SAM | SAM | ||
Line 794: | Line 791: | ||
GERTIE | GERTIE | ||
− | Mommy, the | + | Mommy, the giant’s crying. |
[ Shuddered breathing ] | [ Shuddered breathing ] | ||
Line 812: | Line 809: | ||
[ Grunting ] | [ Grunting ] | ||
− | + | Every– Every– Everything is burning. | |
[ Baby crying ] | [ Baby crying ] | ||
Line 836: | Line 833: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | I | + | I ‘unno. Never. |
[Upstairs, Sam is still writhing on the floor]] | [Upstairs, Sam is still writhing on the floor]] | ||
Line 868: | Line 865: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | But | + | But don’t you worry. |
− | + | ‘Cause I’ve got you. | |
[Upstairs] | [Upstairs] | ||
Line 886: | Line 883: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Here we go. | + | Here we go. You’re gonna be fine. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 898: | Line 895: | ||
[ Gas hissing ] | [ Gas hissing ] | ||
− | ... | + | ...I’m doing this for your own good, buddy. |
SAM | SAM | ||
Line 906: | Line 903: | ||
[ Baby crying ] | [ Baby crying ] | ||
− | Hey, | + | Hey, I’m okay. |
Big Sam is o-okay. | Big Sam is o-okay. | ||
Line 920: | Line 917: | ||
[ Dean breathes deeply ] | [ Dean breathes deeply ] | ||
− | + | Everything’s fine. | |
− | + | Everything’s fine. | |
Yeah. | Yeah. | ||
Line 932: | Line 929: | ||
🎶 | 🎶 | ||
− | [ Black and White dream sequence: Dean is dressed in a white tuxedo and hat, holding a cane. Irving | + | [ Black and White dream sequence: Dean is dressed in a white tuxedo and hat, holding a cane. Irving Aaronson’s “Let’s Misbehave” plays. Garth enters, dressed the same, and he and Dean break into a tap dance routine in the bunker. Halfway through Garth exits and Dean dances solo, ending on top of the map table–you just have to see it ] |
🎶 | 🎶 | ||
Line 941: | Line 938: | ||
🎶 | 🎶 | ||
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 We’re all alone 🎶 |
🎶 No chaperone 🎶 | 🎶 No chaperone 🎶 | ||
Line 947: | Line 944: | ||
🎶 Can get our number 🎶 | 🎶 Can get our number 🎶 | ||
− | 🎶 The | + | 🎶 The world’s in slumber 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 There’s something wild about you, child 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 That’s so contagious 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 Let’s be outrageous 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶 |
− | 🎶 When Adam won | + | 🎶 When Adam won Eve’s hand 🎶 |
− | 🎶 He | + | 🎶 He wouldn’t stand for teasin’ 🎶 |
− | 🎶 He | + | 🎶 He didn’t care about 🎶 |
🎶 Those apples out of season 🎶 | 🎶 Those apples out of season 🎶 | ||
Line 971: | Line 968: | ||
🎶 To little lovebirds 🎶 | 🎶 To little lovebirds 🎶 | ||
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 We’re not above birds 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶 |
[ Scatting ] | [ Scatting ] | ||
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶 |
− | 🎶 | + | 🎶 Let’s misbehave. 🎶 |
[ Dean starts to wake up in the dental chair. He’s groggy and his mouth is bloody-he groans as he wakes up] | [ Dean starts to wake up in the dental chair. He’s groggy and his mouth is bloody-he groans as he wakes up] | ||
Line 987: | Line 984: | ||
Hey, Slugger. | Hey, Slugger. | ||
− | + | You’re all done. You did good. | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 1,031: | Line 1,028: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | I had to numb him up. | + | I had to numb him up. He’ll be fine in an hour. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
Line 1,057: | Line 1,054: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | I mean, apparently | + | I mean, apparently Dean’s never been to a dentist before, and suddenly he got a mouthful of cavities, you’re sick, and your car is broken down. |
Who did you guys piss off? | Who did you guys piss off? | ||
Line 1,066: | Line 1,063: | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
− | + | I’m sorry. What? | |
SAM | SAM | ||
Line 1,082: | Line 1,079: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | So, | + | So, he’s a writer, and you’ve basically been the heroes of his story? |
SAM | SAM | ||
Line 1,092: | Line 1,089: | ||
Huh. | Huh. | ||
− | Well, | + | Well, what’s that make me? A supporting character? Special guest star? |
SAM | SAM | ||
− | No, Garth, | + | No, Garth, it’s not like that. |
Oh, no, no, no. I want to be the guest star. | Oh, no, no, no. I want to be the guest star. | ||
Line 1,102: | Line 1,099: | ||
Being the hero sucks. | Being the hero sucks. | ||
− | I mean, sure, | + | I mean, sure, you’ll probably win eventually, but until you do, your life blows. |
Your parents get gunned down in an alleyway. | Your parents get gunned down in an alleyway. | ||
Line 1,108: | Line 1,105: | ||
Your home planet gets blown up. | Your home planet gets blown up. | ||
− | You, uh, interview this good-looking rich guy, and it | + | You, uh, interview this good-looking rich guy, and it doesn’t go well, so he shows up at the hardware store where you work, and, man, it starts to get, you know... |
BESS | BESS | ||
− | + | It’s from, uh – We love “Fifty Shades.” | |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
Line 1,122: | Line 1,119: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | Who’s the hero in that? | |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | No, no, no. The point is, the hero thing | + | No, no, no. The point is, the hero thing – it’s not fun. |
Well, I mean, there are some good things about it. | Well, I mean, there are some good things about it. | ||
Line 1,132: | Line 1,129: | ||
Like, uh, when was the last time that Batman got a flat tire? | Like, uh, when was the last time that Batman got a flat tire? | ||
− | Or Superman | + | Or Superman couldn’t pay his water bill? |
BESS | BESS | ||
Line 1,154: | Line 1,151: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Maybe, yeah. And now | + | Maybe, yeah. And now you’re – |
DEAN [muffled] | DEAN [muffled] | ||
Line 1,166: | Line 1,163: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | No | + | No – normal. For the first time in your lives, you’re having normal-people problems. |
[Points to Dean] | [Points to Dean] | ||
Line 1,182: | Line 1,179: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | I | + | I don’t know. |
BRAD [from upstairs] | BRAD [from upstairs] | ||
+ | |||
Bess?! | Bess?! | ||
Bess? | Bess? | ||
− | [ They all go upstairs] | + | [They all go upstairs] |
− | Brad is breathing heavily ] | + | [Brad is breathing heavily ] |
BRAD | BRAD | ||
− | + | ||
+ | Who’re they? | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | ||
+ | They’re friends. | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Like Hunter friends? | Like Hunter friends? | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
− | Brad, | + | |
+ | Brad, they’re cool. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
Now tell us what happened to you. | Now tell us what happened to you. | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Fell down the stairs. | Fell down the stairs. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | |||
− | Now, | + | Brad, listen, we don’t care that you’re a werewolf, but you got attacked by a wraith, which is really weird. |
+ | |||
+ | Now, we’re just trying to understand what happened. | ||
So help us. Please. | So help us. Please. | ||
− | |||
[ Brad chuckles ] | [ Brad chuckles ] | ||
BRAD [to Sam] | BRAD [to Sam] | ||
+ | |||
Wow. I mean, wow. | Wow. I mean, wow. | ||
− | With the furrowed brow and the puppy eyes | + | With the furrowed brow and the puppy eyes – did you see that? |
That never actually works for you, does it? | That never actually works for you, does it? | ||
Line 1,231: | Line 1,236: | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Aah! | Aah! | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
+ | |||
Answer the question. | Answer the question. | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Ow! | Ow! | ||
Line 1,243: | Line 1,251: | ||
[ Grunts ] | [ Grunts ] | ||
− | + | It’s – It’s a place... monsters go. | |
They fight for money. | They fight for money. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Money? Like, real money? | Money? Like, real money? | ||
Line 1,253: | Line 1,262: | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Good for you. Yeah, real money. | Good for you. Yeah, real money. | ||
Line 1,262: | Line 1,272: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Wait a second. So | + | |
+ | Wait a second. So – So, you – | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Yeah, I needed the cash. | Yeah, I needed the cash. | ||
− | Got three baby mamas | + | Got three baby mamas – I got bills. |
SAM | SAM | ||
− | |||
− | I know you | + | This place – where is it? |
+ | |||
+ | I know you don’t want to tell us, but – | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Belgrade, Minnesota. Old warehouse off Peach Street. | Belgrade, Minnesota. Old warehouse off Peach Street. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Well, that was easy. | Well, that was easy. | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Yeah, well, lot of fangs in there. | Yeah, well, lot of fangs in there. | ||
− | You know, I figure you two walk in, | + | You know, I figure you two walk in, they’re gonna rip you to pieces. |
[ Laughs ] | [ Laughs ] | ||
Line 1,290: | Line 1,306: | ||
BRAD | BRAD | ||
+ | |||
Ow! | Ow! | ||
Line 1,299: | Line 1,316: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | I | + | |
+ | I don’t think you should go. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | |||
− | That many freaks in one place? You know | + | Garth, we don’t have a choice, okay? |
+ | |||
+ | That many freaks in one place? You know they’re dropping bodies. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Yeah, but the old Sam and Dean, they | + | |
+ | Yeah, but the old Sam and Dean, they could’ve handled this, no problem. | ||
But you guys... | But you guys... | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | ||
+ | Can’t? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | This is our job. | + | Hey, look, just because God yanked the magic horseshoe out of our ass or whatever doesn’t mean that we’re gonna give up. |
+ | |||
+ | This is our job. It’s what we do. | ||
And, yeah, it might be a little harder right now, but so what? | And, yeah, it might be a little harder right now, but so what? | ||
Line 1,325: | Line 1,346: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What he said. | What he said. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | All right. Then | + | |
+ | All right. Then I’m coming, too. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Oh, no, no, no. | Oh, no, no, no. | ||
Line 1,337: | Line 1,361: | ||
Garth, come on. You got a family, okay? | Garth, come on. You got a family, okay? | ||
− | You got a life. If something went wrong | + | You got a life. If something went wrong – and, right now, with us, everything’s going wrong – we’re not doing that to Bess, |
to the kids. | to the kids. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Okay, | + | |
+ | Okay, you’re right. | ||
Well, at least let me get you a new set of spark plugs. | Well, at least let me get you a new set of spark plugs. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Yeah. | Yeah. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Deal. | Deal. | ||
Line 1,364: | Line 1,391: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Isolated, run-down | + | |
+ | Isolated, run-down – yep, that’ll do Monster Bloodsport. | ||
This should be perfect. | This should be perfect. | ||
Line 1,371: | Line 1,399: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Oh, man. | Oh, man. | ||
Line 1,376: | Line 1,405: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Yeah, you ate like seven of them. | Yeah, you ate like seven of them. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Well, | + | |
+ | Well, I’m a growing boy. | ||
[Dean grabs a duffle bag from the trunk] | [Dean grabs a duffle bag from the trunk] | ||
− | + | Let’s go. | |
SAM | SAM | ||
Line 1,394: | Line 1,425: | ||
SAM [opening the false bottom in the trunk] | SAM [opening the false bottom in the trunk] | ||
− | Dean...Extra rounds, dead | + | |
− | emergency flares... | + | Dean...Extra rounds, dead man’s blood, first-aid kit, emergency flares... |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Seriously? | Seriously? | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Dude, if Garth was right, if | + | |
− | charge in there guns blazing. | + | Dude, if Garth was right, if we’re really normal now, we can’t just charge in there guns blazing. |
We need to be ready for anything. | We need to be ready for anything. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Well, I guess | + | |
+ | Well, I guess we’d need a grenade launcher. | ||
[Dean grabs the grenade launcher while Sam puts a variety of weapons and ammunition from the trunk] | [Dean grabs the grenade launcher while Sam puts a variety of weapons and ammunition from the trunk] | ||
Line 1,413: | Line 1,446: | ||
Hey, sweetheart. | Hey, sweetheart. | ||
− | I | + | I don’t think we’ve used that .38 in about four years. |
[Dean aims the grenade launcher and pretends to fire it] | [Dean aims the grenade launcher and pretends to fire it] | ||
Hyah! | Hyah! | ||
+ | |||
Hyah! | Hyah! | ||
Line 1,425: | Line 1,459: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Welcome to Fight Club. | Welcome to Fight Club. | ||
Line 1,430: | Line 1,465: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | I | + | |
+ | I – | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
You forget how to walk? | You forget how to walk? | ||
Line 1,438: | Line 1,475: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Oh. | Oh. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What was that? | What was that? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
[ Grunts ] | [ Grunts ] | ||
− | Not good, | + | Not good, that’s – |
[ Gurgling continues ] | [ Gurgling continues ] | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
You okay? | You okay? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
[ Groans ] | [ Groans ] | ||
Line 1,463: | Line 1,505: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Go? | Go? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
I-I gotta go. | I-I gotta go. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What? | What? | ||
DEAN [dropping the gear bag] | DEAN [dropping the gear bag] | ||
+ | |||
Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom. | Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom. | ||
SAM [calling to Dean as he runs to find bathroom] | SAM [calling to Dean as he runs to find bathroom] | ||
+ | |||
Dean? | Dean? | ||
Line 1,484: | Line 1,531: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
You know, I think you might be lactose-intolerant now. | You know, I think you might be lactose-intolerant now. | ||
Line 1,489: | Line 1,537: | ||
DEAM | DEAM | ||
− | + | ||
+ | I’m ok– | ||
[ Vomiting continues ] | [ Vomiting continues ] | ||
Line 1,496: | Line 1,545: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Sam? | Sam? | ||
Line 1,505: | Line 1,555: | ||
MAN | MAN | ||
+ | |||
Can do. | Can do. | ||
Line 1,514: | Line 1,565: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | |||
− | I | + | Can’t believe they got the drop on me. |
+ | |||
+ | I didn’t even hear them coming. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Yeah, well, I got jumped while I was in the crapper, okay? | Yeah, well, I got jumped while I was in the crapper, okay? | ||
I win. | I win. | ||
− | + | “Normal”? | |
Sucks. | Sucks. | ||
Line 1,530: | Line 1,583: | ||
MAN | MAN | ||
+ | |||
Sam, Dean? Can I get you anything? | Sam, Dean? Can I get you anything? | ||
Line 1,535: | Line 1,589: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Who are you? | Who are you? | ||
MAN | MAN | ||
+ | |||
Cutty. | Cutty. | ||
Line 1,543: | Line 1,599: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Oh, so all this chain-link, razor wire, and rat crap is yours, huh? | Oh, so all this chain-link, razor wire, and rat crap is yours, huh? | ||
Line 1,548: | Line 1,605: | ||
CUTTY [walking around the cage] | CUTTY [walking around the cage] | ||
+ | |||
So, now you know me, and I know you. | So, now you know me, and I know you. | ||
− | + | We’re like...friends. | |
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
You keep all your friends in a cage? | You keep all your friends in a cage? | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
+ | |||
Only the ones I really like. | Only the ones I really like. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | All right. So, | + | |
+ | All right. So, what’re you? A monster? | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
+ | |||
I am. Shifter. | I am. Shifter. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Shifter? So you chose that face? | Shifter? So you chose that face? | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
− | |||
− | See, more than anything, | + | But I don’t let my gifts define me. |
+ | |||
+ | See, more than anything, I’m a sportsman. | ||
− | See, to me, man, monster, | + | See, to me, man, monster, they’re at their best, their most pure, in the heat of competition. |
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Right. | Right. | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
− | Yeah, sure, I | + | |
+ | Yeah, sure, I could’ve killed you, but no. | ||
I want to see your best. | I want to see your best. | ||
Line 1,593: | Line 1,659: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | |||
− | That | + | “Maul”? |
+ | |||
+ | That – Maul? | ||
− | Come on, man. | + | Come on, man. What’s your real name, huh? |
Marvin? Marion? | Marvin? Marion? | ||
MAUL | MAUL | ||
+ | |||
Murder. | Murder. | ||
Line 1,607: | Line 1,675: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
You want us to fight? | You want us to fight? | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
+ | |||
Obviously. | Obviously. | ||
Together, though. | Together, though. | ||
− | I | + | I don’t want to break up the team. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
You sure about that? | You sure about that? | ||
− | + | ‘Cause if you know us, you know the stories. | |
− | See, me and my brother here, | + | See, me and my brother here, we’ve taken down way bigger fellas than, uh, |
[clicks tongue] Meredith here. | [clicks tongue] Meredith here. | ||
[ Growls ] | [ Growls ] | ||
− | + | We’ve killed angels, killed demons, Gods, and Alphas. | |
− | + | So why don’t you do yourself a favor – cut your losses, let us walk out that door before we burn this crap hole to the ground. | |
− | + | CUTTY | |
− | |||
Yeah...no. | Yeah...no. | ||
Line 1,646: | Line 1,716: | ||
ANNOUNCER | ANNOUNCER | ||
− | Tonight, two of Fight | + | |
+ | Tonight, two of Fight Night’s biggest rivals will face off in the ring again! | ||
Killer Wraith versus Jamaica Djinn! | Killer Wraith versus Jamaica Djinn! | ||
Line 1,652: | Line 1,723: | ||
Who will claim victory, and who will suffer defeat? | Who will claim victory, and who will suffer defeat? | ||
− | And then, in this ring, the mighty Maul returns, and this time, | + | And then, in this ring, the mighty Maul returns, and this time, he’ll take on the merciless Winchesters! |
Get ready for a...battle royale! | Get ready for a...battle royale! | ||
Line 1,667: | Line 1,738: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | + | ||
+ | There’s a lot of people – lot of monsters – out there. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Awesome. | Awesome. | ||
− | Yeah, | + | Yeah, it’s just how I wanted to die – with a freakin’ audience. |
[ Bell dings ] | [ Bell dings ] | ||
− | Fight! [the fight commences in the cage | + | Fight! [the fight commences in the cage] |
[ Roars ] | [ Roars ] | ||
Line 1,683: | Line 1,756: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What are you doing? | What are you doing? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Baby, come on, come on. | Baby, come on, come on. | ||
Line 1,691: | Line 1,766: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Ha ha! | Ha ha! | ||
− | + | I’m picking the lock. | |
[ Clicking ] | [ Clicking ] | ||
Line 1,700: | Line 1,776: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Hurry. | Hurry. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | ||
+ | Can’t get it. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What? | What? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Ow! Broke a nail. | Ow! Broke a nail. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Here, let me do it. Here, come on. | Here, let me do it. Here, come on. | ||
Line 1,717: | Line 1,798: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
We do this all the time. | We do this all the time. | ||
Line 1,722: | Line 1,804: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | ||
+ | Friggin’ normal! That’s what. | ||
[ Nail clangs ] | [ Nail clangs ] | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Aw, come on! | Aw, come on! | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
So could we ever actually pick locks, or was it Chuck this whole time? | So could we ever actually pick locks, or was it Chuck this whole time? | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Well, dude, if we | + | |
+ | Well, dude, if we can’t do this, then how the hell are we supposed to take care of Supervamp out there? | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | I | + | |
+ | I don’t think we can. | ||
[ Crowd booing ] | [ Crowd booing ] | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
No way. | No way. | ||
− | Wait. After everything, | + | Wait. After everything, there’s no way that Chuck lets us die like this. |
SAM | SAM | ||
− | Or he does, to | + | |
+ | Or he does, to – I don’t know – to teach us a lesson. | ||
Or maybe we just end up paralyzed. | Or maybe we just end up paralyzed. | ||
Line 1,753: | Line 1,842: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
No, we gotta win. | No, we gotta win. | ||
We gotta win, man. | We gotta win, man. | ||
− | + | That’s not gonna be easy, okay? | |
But you and me? | But you and me? | ||
Line 1,763: | Line 1,853: | ||
Not everything we did was because of Chuck. | Not everything we did was because of Chuck. | ||
− | It was us | + | It was us – the blood, the sweat, the tears, man. |
− | + | That’s us. | |
[ Crowd booing ] | [ Crowd booing ] | ||
Line 1,771: | Line 1,861: | ||
[ Growling ] | [ Growling ] | ||
− | + | We’ve been doing this our whole lives. | |
− | + | We’re the best in the world. | |
So I say we go out there. | So I say we go out there. | ||
Line 1,790: | Line 1,880: | ||
ANNOUNCER: | ANNOUNCER: | ||
− | Your winner | + | |
+ | Your winner – Djinn! | ||
[The wraith is helped out of the cage] | [The wraith is helped out of the cage] | ||
Line 1,796: | Line 1,887: | ||
🎶 | 🎶 | ||
− | Ladies and gentlemen, | + | Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the main event! |
Your first fighter, weighing in at 310 pounds, the mighty Maul! | Your first fighter, weighing in at 310 pounds, the mighty Maul! | ||
Line 1,809: | Line 1,900: | ||
ANNOUNCER | ANNOUNCER | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | You know them, you | + | And his opponent – sorry, opponents – straight out of Lawrence, Kansas. |
+ | |||
+ | You know them, you don’t like them – the Winchesters! | ||
[ Crowd booing ] | [ Crowd booing ] | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
− | + | ||
+ | It’s time. | ||
Oh, and, boys? Shirts off. | Oh, and, boys? Shirts off. | ||
Line 1,831: | Line 1,923: | ||
🎶 | 🎶 | ||
− | [ The scene rewinds to people walking into the cage area. The camera zooms in on a guy with a hat covering most of his face. As he passes Cutty, we see | + | [The scene rewinds to people walking into the cage area. The camera zooms in on a guy with a hat covering most of his face. As he passes Cutty, we see that it’s Garth. He walks into the area where Sam and Dean are being held.] |
− | [coughing ] | + | [ coughing ] |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
I think a bug went in my throat. | I think a bug went in my throat. | ||
[ Coughing ] | [ Coughing ] | ||
− | Oh, | + | Oh, freakin’ normal. |
[ Bell dings ] | [ Bell dings ] | ||
ANNOUNCEER | ANNOUNCEER | ||
− | Your winner | + | |
+ | Your winner – Djinn! | ||
SAM [worriedly] | SAM [worriedly] | ||
+ | |||
Dean? Dean! | Dean? Dean! | ||
ANNOUNCER | ANNOUNCER | ||
− | + | ||
+ | It’s time for... | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Garth?! | Garth?! | ||
GARTH [his hat] | GARTH [his hat] | ||
+ | |||
Yo. | Yo. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
What are you doing? | What are you doing? | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | I tried to call, and when you | + | |
+ | I tried to call, and when you didn’t pick up, I figured you were super boned. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | + | |
+ | Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re super boned. | ||
Super boned! Come on. Get us out of here. | Super boned! Come on. Get us out of here. | ||
Line 1,874: | Line 1,975: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Hurry. | Hurry. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
You are so strong. | You are so strong. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | ||
+ | Let’s roll. | ||
DEAN [whispering] | DEAN [whispering] | ||
+ | |||
So strong. | So strong. | ||
Line 1,888: | Line 1,993: | ||
CUTTY | CUTTY | ||
− | + | ||
+ | It’s time. | ||
Oh, and, boys? Shirts off. | Oh, and, boys? Shirts off. | ||
Line 1,897: | Line 2,003: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Come on! We gotta | + | |
+ | Come on! We gotta – We gotta get somewhere! | ||
We gotta regroup! We gotta come up with a plan! | We gotta regroup! We gotta come up with a plan! | ||
− | [ The crowd boos as Maul stands in the cage without Sam and Dean | + | [The crowd boos as Maul stands in the cage without Sam and Dean] |
[Garth stops and looks back at the warehouse] | [Garth stops and looks back at the warehouse] | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Garth? Hey! | Garth? Hey! | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Hey, what are you doing? | Hey, what are you doing? | ||
Line 1,914: | Line 2,023: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | ||
+ | I’ve already got a plan. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What? | What? | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
The Monster Squad were the good guys. | The Monster Squad were the good guys. | ||
− | + | We’re the Monster Squad. | |
− | [ Garth holds up a radio controller/detonator and extends the | + | [ Garth holds up a radio controller/detonator and extends the antenna. Flashback to Garth walking through the warehouse, before getting to Sam and Dean, dropping explosives in various places in the warehouse ] |
[ He pushes the detonator and there is an explosion inside the warehouse ] | [ He pushes the detonator and there is an explosion inside the warehouse ] | ||
GARTH- | GARTH- | ||
− | C4 | + | |
+ | C4 –a Hunter’s best friend. | ||
Cool, right? | Cool, right? | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Thanks, Garth. | Thanks, Garth. | ||
Line 1,939: | Line 2,053: | ||
GARTH [holding his arm out to Dean] | GARTH [holding his arm out to Dean] | ||
+ | |||
All right. | All right. | ||
Line 1,944: | Line 2,059: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Oh. | Oh. | ||
SAM [gesturing towards his nose] | SAM [gesturing towards his nose] | ||
− | Well, still | + | |
+ | Well, still – | ||
[ Maul walks out of the burning warehouse, roaring. He rolls his neck and his bones crack loudly ] | [ Maul walks out of the burning warehouse, roaring. He rolls his neck and his bones crack loudly ] | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
No way. | No way. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Go! | + | |
+ | Go! I’ve got this. | ||
[Garth turns werewolf and Maul stomps towards him] | [Garth turns werewolf and Maul stomps towards him] | ||
Line 1,962: | Line 2,081: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Garth... | Garth... | ||
Garth! | Garth! | ||
− | [ Garth swipes at Maul. Maul hits him and he flies into the back of a dumpster, unconscious. Maul turns to Sam and Dean ] | + | [Garth swipes at Maul. Maul hits him and he flies into the back of a dumpster, unconscious. Maul turns to Sam and Dean] |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Hey, did you believe me when I said I thought we could win this thing? | Hey, did you believe me when I said I thought we could win this thing? | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Nope. | Nope. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Yeah, me neither. | Yeah, me neither. | ||
Line 1,980: | Line 2,103: | ||
DEAN [yelling at Maul] | DEAN [yelling at Maul] | ||
+ | |||
Bring it on, Madison! | Bring it on, Madison! | ||
Line 1,988: | Line 2,112: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Ohh! | Ohh! | ||
[ Body thuds ] | [ Body thuds ] | ||
− | [ Maul sets his sights on Sam. He stands there, while Sam throws several punches. Maul points to his chin and waits for Sam to hit him. Sam does, to no effect, and Maul hauls off and punches Sam in the face. Sam drops to the ground and Dean jumps up in front of Maul. Dean ‘machine guns’ several punches to Maul’s stomach and then punches him in the face. Annoyed, Maul head buts Dean, knocking him to the ground. It’s Sam’s turn again-he tries to kick Maul but Maul grabs his foot and flips him backwards. Maul picks Dean up and puts him in a choke hold ] | + | [Maul sets his sights on Sam. He stands there, while Sam throws several punches. Maul points to his chin and waits for Sam to hit him. Sam does, to no effect, and Maul hauls off and punches Sam in the face. Sam drops to the ground and Dean jumps up in front of Maul. Dean ‘machine guns’ several punches to Maul’s stomach and then punches him in the face. Annoyed, Maul head buts Dean, knocking him to the ground. It’s Sam’s turn again-he tries to kick Maul but Maul grabs his foot and flips him backwards. Maul picks Dean up and puts him in a choke hold] |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Ooh. | Ooh. | ||
Line 2,003: | Line 2,129: | ||
MAUL | MAUL | ||
+ | |||
This was fun. | This was fun. | ||
Line 2,010: | Line 2,137: | ||
MAUL | MAUL | ||
+ | |||
Fun. | Fun. | ||
Unh! | Unh! | ||
− | [ Dean ‘taps out’ on Maul’s arm and he | + | [Dean ‘taps out’ on Maul’s arm and he lets Dean go] |
− | Breathes deeply ] | + | [ Breathes deeply ] |
[ Growls ] | [ Growls ] | ||
Line 2,023: | Line 2,151: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | He got | + | |
+ | He got Garth’d. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Aha-ha! | Aha-ha! | ||
[ Higher-pitched and bending over ] | [ Higher-pitched and bending over ] | ||
− | + | It’s weird. It, like, hurts in my stomach. | |
− | + | It’s not even – It’s, like, up here. | |
− | + | It’s, like, where my ribs are. I don’t know why. | |
Has my voice gone higher? | Has my voice gone higher? | ||
==ACT V== | ==ACT V== | ||
− | |||
− | [Baby coos ] | + | [Sam and Dean are in Garth’s house, each holding a baby] |
+ | |||
+ | [ Baby coos ] | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
This Cass keeps looking at me weird. | This Cass keeps looking at me weird. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
So kind of like the real Cass. | So kind of like the real Cass. | ||
Line 2,053: | Line 2,186: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Oh. | Oh. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Oh, thanks. | Oh, thanks. | ||
Line 2,063: | Line 2,198: | ||
DEAN [handing baby Cass to Bess] | DEAN [handing baby Cass to Bess] | ||
+ | |||
Uh, you know what? | Uh, you know what? | ||
− | I think this | + | I think this guy’s got a little something for you. |
BESS | BESS | ||
+ | |||
Oh. | Oh. | ||
Line 2,073: | Line 2,210: | ||
SAM [handing baby Sam back to Bess] | SAM [handing baby Sam back to Bess] | ||
+ | |||
Yeah. We better go. | Yeah. We better go. | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
+ | |||
Oh. Okay. | Oh. Okay. | ||
Line 2,081: | Line 2,220: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | ||
+ | I’ll walk you out. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Okay. Bye, guys. | Okay. Bye, guys. | ||
BESS | BESS | ||
+ | |||
Bye. | Bye. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Bye. | Bye. | ||
Line 2,095: | Line 2,238: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | Hey, listen, Garth, I just want to say, what | + | |
+ | Hey, listen, Garth, I just want to say, what – what you did – | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
Ah. It was nothing. | Ah. It was nothing. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Nothing? You saved us and blew up a bunch of monsters. | Nothing? You saved us and blew up a bunch of monsters. | ||
− | + | That’s not nothing. | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | + | ||
+ | That’s – That’s being a hero. | ||
[ Garth chuckles ] | [ Garth chuckles ] | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
I guess I learned from the best. | I guess I learned from the best. | ||
Line 2,116: | Line 2,264: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | What? Because | + | |
+ | What? Because we’re normal? | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | That, and because the | + | |
+ | That, and because the Almighty’s after you. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Right, yeah. | Right, yeah. | ||
Um, I, uh... | Um, I, uh... | ||
− | We | + | We don’t know. |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | Listen, I | + | |
− | that could help. | + | Listen, I wasn’t gonna say this earlier, but... there might be something that could help. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
What kind of something? | What kind of something? | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | I heard this story once about this place you can go if your | + | |
+ | I heard this story once about this place you can go if your luck’s gone bad. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
What kind of place? | What kind of place? | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
Not sure. | Not sure. | ||
The guy who told me said it was in Alaska, on the road between Barrow and Kotzebue. | The guy who told me said it was in Alaska, on the road between Barrow and Kotzebue. | ||
− | He said, | + | He said, “You’ll know it when you see it,” whatever that means. |
Look, it might not even be real, and you know this stuff works. | Look, it might not even be real, and you know this stuff works. | ||
− | + | There’s always a catch. | |
− | And being normal | + | And being normal – I mean, maybe you’ll get used to it. |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Yeah. Maybe. | Yeah. Maybe. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
Anyway, if you ever need anything... | Anyway, if you ever need anything... | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
We know. | We know. | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
Good. | Good. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Thanks for everything. | Thanks for everything. | ||
− | + | [Sam hugs Garth] | |
DEAN [Hugs Garth] | DEAN [Hugs Garth] | ||
+ | |||
All right, Garth. | All right, Garth. | ||
Line 2,178: | Line 2,339: | ||
Hey, you know what? | Hey, you know what? | ||
− | You | + | You don’t smell too bad yourself. |
GARTH | GARTH | ||
− | + | ||
+ | It’s Hai Karate. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Okay. | Okay. | ||
Line 2,189: | Line 2,352: | ||
GARTH | GARTH | ||
+ | |||
Stay safe out there. | Stay safe out there. | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
You too. | You too. | ||
− | [ Warren | + | [ Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London” plays ] |
− | 🎶 I saw a werewolf with | + | 🎶 I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand 🎶 |
− | a Chinese menu in his hand 🎶 | ||
− | + | 🎶 Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain 🎶 | |
− | 🎶 Walking through the streets | ||
− | of SoHo in the rain 🎶 | ||
− | 🎶 He was looking for the place called Lee Ho | + | 🎶 He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s 🎶 |
[Sam and Dean watch Garth and Bess dancing in their living room] | [Sam and Dean watch Garth and Bess dancing in their living room] | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be. | You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be. | ||
Line 2,214: | Line 2,377: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
Well, you were awesome at the Macarena. | Well, you were awesome at the Macarena. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Yeah. | Yeah. | ||
Line 2,225: | Line 2,390: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
So... | So... | ||
Line 2,230: | Line 2,396: | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
− | |||
− | + | I don’t know. | |
+ | |||
+ | Garth’s right – stuff like that, there’s always a downside. | ||
And being normal... | And being normal... | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Is fine. | Is fine. | ||
For normal people with normal problems. | For normal people with normal problems. | ||
− | But you and me? | + | But you and me? There’s zero about our lives that’s normal. |
− | And the way things are going, if we | + | And the way things are going, if we don’t fix this, we might kill each other by accident. |
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
[ Scoffs ] Yeah. | [ Scoffs ] Yeah. | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
− | And if | + | |
+ | And if Chuck comes back, we can’t go up against him like this. | ||
[ Sam sniffs ] | [ Sam sniffs ] | ||
SAM | SAM | ||
+ | |||
So, uh... | So, uh... | ||
Line 2,259: | Line 2,430: | ||
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
Alaska. | Alaska. | ||
− | + | [ Engine starts ] | |
− | + | [ Engine struggling ] | |
− | + | [ Engine stops ] | |
− | + | [ Engine sputtering, car stalls ] | |
DEAN | DEAN | ||
+ | |||
SON OF A BITCH!! | SON OF A BITCH!! | ||
Latest revision as of 00:59, 31 May 2021
Written by: Andrew Dabb
Directed by: John F. Showalter
Air Date: January 23, 2020[A woman is beating up a man in a cage fight. He’s knocked to the ground. He gets up and the woman lands several punches, knocking him to the ground again. The crowd is cheering. The man gets up and bares his teeth and claws. He is a werewolf. He slices the woman’s stomach as she attacks him. They circle around each other and a long spike extends from the woman’s wrist. She is a wraith. The fight continues with the wraith slashing and stabbing the werewolf until he is unconscious. The woman jumps around the cage, riling up the crowd as blood pools around the werewolf’s head]
ACT I
[The following scenes jumps back and forth between Dean at the Kwik Trip and Sam at the bunker]
[Dean is at the ‘Kwik Trip’ mini mart. He picks up beer and snacks.]
[A smoke alarm is beeping in the bunker. Sam walks into the and runs over to the stove.]
SAM
Oh, no.
[Sam opens the stove door and smoke billows out.
Oh, great.
Oh!
[ Coughing ]
[Dean brings his groceries to the counter at the Kwik Trip]
DEAN (to the cashier)
Hey, Teddy.
TEDDY
Hey.
DEAN
What’s new?
TEDDY
Uh, my psoriasis is back.
DEAN
Oh.
[Dean puts a piece of candy in his mouth and grimaces as if in pain]
[In the bunker, Sam pulls the burning food out of the oven and drops it onto the metal table behind him. It slides on the smooth surface knocking several plates to the floor, shattering them]
[At the Kwik Trip, Dean is still eating candy and looking pained]
TEDDY
$40.32.
DEAN
Um...right. There you go. (hands over credit card)
TEDDY
Thank you.
[Teddy swipes the card and the card reader beeps. He does it again with the same result]
[In the bunker kitchen, a pot of pasta on the stovetop is about to boil over.]
SAM
Oh.
Oh, God.
Okay.
[Sam takes the pot off the stove. The handles are hot and he drops the pot, spilling pasta all over the bunker floor.)
SAM
Aah!
[At the Kwik Trip, Teddy is still swiping Dean’s credit card]
[ Machine beeps ]
TEDDY
Uh, declined.
DEAN
What? No, no, no, that’s...
No, that card’s worked for like five years.
TEDDY
I – Sorry.
[Sam is blowing on his hands, which are still hot]
SAM
Aah!
[Teddy pulls the half-eaten candy bar out of Dean’s hands and puts it back in the basket]
DEAN
Wha-
[Teddy pulls the basket away from Dean and scowls at Dean]
DEAN
Seriously?
[Sarcastically] Thanks, Teddy.
[Dean leaves the store and is almost run down by a kid on a skateboard]
DEAN
Whoa!
Seriously?!
[Dean walks over to Baby and finds a parking ticket on the window]
DEAN
Seriously?
[In the bunker]
DEAN
Sammy!
[ Door closes ]
[Sam is in the kitchen stressing over the mess as he hears Dean return from the store]
DEAN
Sammy!
[Sam runs out from the kitchen and trips up the steps. Dean looks at him quizzically]
SAM
Dean?
Hey!
DEAN
Was that a trip?
SAM
Yeah. Weird.
DEAN
There’s a lotta that goin’ on. In town, I just got a parking ticket.
SAM
Because you always park in front of that fire hydrant?
DEAN
No.
I mean, yes. Okay, I park there every time.
I never get a ticket, all right?
Oh, and, uh...
This...doesn’t work.
[Dean takes the credit card out of his pocket and throws it down on the map table]
SAM
That’s the card Charlie hacked for us, the one –
DEAN
Yeah, the one that’s supposed to be our “no more hustling, always working” Golden Ticket.
Nothing.
SAM
Weird.
DEAN
That’s what I’m saying.
[ Sam sneezes ]
DEAN
Are you getting sick?
SAM
I don’t know. Maybe.
Oh, and – and dinner’s –
[ Sam sneezes ]
DEAN
Man, this day, I’m telling you –
[ Sam coughs ]
What is next?
[ Cellphone ringing ]
DEAN
It’s Garth. [ Cellphone beeps ]
DEAN
Hey, Garth.
GARTH
Hey, Dean, it’s Garth.
I, uh – I need your help.
[ Sam sneezes ]
🎶
[Sam and Dean are driving at night]
DEAN
I’m telling you, man, we’re cursed.
SAM
We’re not cursed, Dean. We’re just having a bad day.
DEAN
No. No, no, no. This is – This is more than just a no good, very bad day, okay?
Chuck must’ve boned us before he left, you know?
Or maybe some of that crap you brought back from Rowena’s went sideways.
‘Cause this? I mean...
[ Scoffs ]
This is not normal.
[Sam sneezes into his sleeve. It’s wet and goopy]
SAM
Oh.
SAM
Oh. Gross.
DEAN
Dude...
SAM
Sorry. Look, just...
Okay, listen. Cass is in Heaven – seeing if they know where Chuck went or anything.
DEAN
Oh, yeah, ‘cause angels, they’re always really happy to help.
SAM
And I’m sick, and you got a ticket. It happens. We’ll deal, we –
[ Engine struggling ]
SAM
What’s going on? What’re you doing?
DEAN
I don’t know.
No, no, baby, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, baby...
Baby, please don’t do this.
Seriously? Oh, come on!
[ Engine struggling, timing belt screeching ]
[ Engine stops ]
[ Engine sputtering ]
[ Sputtering continues ]
DEAN [bangs hid hand on the steering wheel]
Yeah. Normal.
🎶
[Sam and Dean get out of the car and start walking]
[ Dog barking in distance ]
🎶
[Garth is in his house, feeding infants twins in their highchairs. He’s wearing a large napkin over his shirt. There is a young girl sitting at the table also]
GARTH:
Who’s daddy’s big boy?
Here comes the airplane!
Rrrrr!
[ Laughs ]
Come here. Little bite.
There we go, buddy.
It’s good.
Isn’t that so good?
Hey, Sammy.
Open wide. Here comes the airplane.
Rrrrr.
Oh, yeah, that’s good stuff, isn’t it?
[The baby spits all over Garth’s napkin]
[ Garth and the girl both laugh ]
You got me, you little stinker. But Daddy was prepared this time.
[ Doorbell rings ]
GARTH
Uh, Gertie?
GERTIE
Yeah.
GARTH
Can you watch the boys?
GERTIE
Sure.
GARTH
Thank you.
[ Doorbell rings ]
BESS
Is that them?
GARTH
It’s gotta be.
Hey! There they are. Come in.
SAM
Garth.
GARTH
Hey, hey.
[Gesturing towards SAM] Come here, you.
SAM
Oh. Oh, I’m – I’m sick.
Sorry.
GARTH Oh.
[Garth turns towards Dean]
You –
[Garth hugs Dean]
DEAN
Okay.
Still a hugger, huh?
GARTH
You know it. You smell so good.
DEAN
And we’re done.
[ Clears throat ]
GARTH
What took you guys so long?
SAM
We, uh – W-We had to walk.
DEAN
Yeah, car broke down about 10 miles back. I think it’s the plugs.
GARTH
Really?
DEAN
Yeah, we’re having a super normal day.
GARTH
Okay. Well, no worries. We’ll fix you up.
GERTIE
Daddy, the twins are still hungry.
GARTH
Be right there, baby.
Come on. Come back and meet the kids.
DEAN
You’ve got more kids?
GARTH
Oh-ho-ho, yeah.
Got a couple’a pups.
[Garth, Sam and Dean walk towards the kitchen]
GARTH
So, this is my daughter Gertie.
Gertie, say hi to Daddy’s friends.
GERTIE
Hi.
SAM AND DEAN
Hi.
GARTH
And these are the twins.
This is Sam.
I, uh, sorta named him after you.
SAM
Wow. That’s, uh...Wow.
DEAN
That means this one must be –
GARTH
Castiel.
Yeah.
SAM
Um –
[ Clears throat ]
On the phone, you said there was something wrong with your cousin?
GARTH
Oh, not mine, Bess’s.
He’s, uh – Well...
I think you should see for yourself.
BESS
I tried to wake him, but he’s in and out.
[They are in a bedroom, the werewolf from the cage fight is laying on the bed, bloodied]
BESS
He’s hurt pretty bad.
DEAN
This dude’s a werewolf?
BESS
Pure blood, like me.
SAM
So what happened to him?
GARTH
We’re not sure. Cops found him down around St. Cloud, in Minnesota.
DEAN
Those look like knife wounds.
GARTH
That’s what the cops thought, too, but they’re not. They’re from a wraith.
Brad – whoever did this to him thought he was dead, and they dumped him in a swamp.
But he somehow managed to climb out, and the cops found his body by the road.
GARTH
And Bess has been looking after him, but... why would a wraith go after a wolf?
[Dean sees a candy bowl in the room and takes a piece]
DEAN
Hmm.
When he comes to, we’ll ask him.
DEAN
[ Munches and grimaces in pain again ]
Sonuva...
[Sam and Bess leave the room]
SAM
[ Sneezes ]
[ Sniffles ]
Sorry.
I’m, uh...
BESS
Sick. I know. Come with me. I’ve got something for you.
[Dean and Garth follow Sam and Bess out of the room and downstairs]
DEAN
You know, I gotta say, aside from pincushion in there… this is pretty nice.
GARTH
Yeah, better than I ever thought I’d get.
I mean, hunting – I figured I’d be dead before I’m 40.
You know, go out young and pretty. But now I’ve got a great wife, great kids.
I guess...sometimes things work out.
DEAN
Yeah, sometimes. Good, man. You deserve it.
You do.
GARTH
Thanks, man.
DEAN
Yeah.
GARTH
What’s up with your teeth?
DEAN
What?
GARTH Your teeth. They hurt, right?
DEAN
A little.
A lot.
GARTH
Since when?
DEAN
Since yesterday.
GARTH
Mm.
All right, come on.
DEAN
What?
GARTH
Come on.
DEAN
What are we doing?
[Garth leads Dean downstairs]
DEAN
Garth, what are we do—
[Garth opens the door to a room, turns on the light exposing a full dental set up]
DEAN
Oh, no.
You know what? I’m good.
[Garth muscles Dean into the dental chair]
GARTH
Get in the chair, Dean.
DEAN
No –
You’re very strong.
Ohh.
[Back upstairs Bess hands Sam a glass with orange liquid in it]
SAM
Uh, you know, you – you – you really don’t have to –
BESS
It’s my daddy’s secret recipe. Cure everything and anything.
SAM
What’s in it?
BESS
What part of “secret” don’t you understand?
DEAN
Garth, you’re not a dentist.
GARTH
Oh, yes, I am.
I, uh, was getting my degree when the whole Hunter thing happened, and I, you know...
Killed the Tooth Fairy. She had it coming.
Anyway, after I left Hunting, I went back to school, got my degree.
Now I’ve got a good little practice going.
There.
It’s not like all the wolves around here can go to a regular doc. Can’t with all the cow hearts we eat.
Fang maintenance is a B. You’ve got to floss all the time.
[Sam drinks the juice Bess gave him]
SAM
Mm.
Yeah, actually, it’s – it’s not too, uh...
[ Baby coos ]
Oh, God.
BESS
I will tell you it’s mostly cayenne pepper.
SAM
What?
Oh, God.
[ Sam grimaces and shudders, eyes tearing ]
GERTIE
Mommy, the giant’s crying.
[ Shuddered breathing ]
[Downstairs Garth leans Dean back in the chair]
[ Chair motor whirring ]
GARTH
There.
SAM [falling to the floor]
Ohh. Aah.
[ Grunting ]
Every– Every– Everything is burning.
[ Baby crying ]
[GARTH]
Open wide.
DEAN
Mnh-mnh.
GARTH
Come on, buddy.
Here comes the airplane.
Mm.
When was the last time you saw a dentist?
DEAN
I ‘unno. Never.
[Upstairs, Sam is still writhing on the floor]]
[ Babies crying ]
[ Gasping ]
[ Laughs ]
[Downstairs]
GARTH
All right.
I do see a few cavities.
DEAN
How many?
GARTH
17.
DEAN
What?
GARTH
But don’t you worry.
‘Cause I’ve got you.
[Upstairs]
[ Gasping ]
[ Babies crying ]
SAM [looking at the babies]
How do you think I feel?
[Downstairs, Garth hooks Dean up to nitrous oxide (laughing gas)]]
GARTH
Here we go. You’re gonna be fine.
DEAN
What is this?
GARTH
Dean...
[ Gas hissing ]
...I’m doing this for your own good, buddy.
SAM
Okay.
[ Baby crying ]
Hey, I’m okay.
Big Sam is o-okay.
[ Groans ]
GARTH [placing the a mask over Dean’s nose and mouth]
There you go. Let the gas do its thing.
Deep breaths.
[ Dean breathes deeply ]
Everything’s fine.
Everything’s fine.
Yeah.
There you go.
[ Whimsical music plays ]
🎶
[ Black and White dream sequence: Dean is dressed in a white tuxedo and hat, holding a cane. Irving Aaronson’s “Let’s Misbehave” plays. Garth enters, dressed the same, and he and Dean break into a tap dance routine in the bunker. Halfway through Garth exits and Dean dances solo, ending on top of the map table–you just have to see it ]
🎶
[ Shoes tapping ]
🎶 🎶
🎶 We’re all alone 🎶
🎶 No chaperone 🎶
🎶 Can get our number 🎶
🎶 The world’s in slumber 🎶
🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶
🎶 There’s something wild about you, child 🎶
🎶 That’s so contagious 🎶
🎶 Let’s be outrageous 🎶
🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶
🎶 When Adam won Eve’s hand 🎶
🎶 He wouldn’t stand for teasin’ 🎶
🎶 He didn’t care about 🎶
🎶 Those apples out of season 🎶
🎶 They say the spring means just one thing 🎶
🎶 To little lovebirds 🎶
🎶 We’re not above birds 🎶
🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶
[ Scatting ]
🎶 Let’s misbehave 🎶
🎶 Let’s misbehave. 🎶
[ Dean starts to wake up in the dental chair. He’s groggy and his mouth is bloody-he groans as he wakes up]
GARTH
Hey, Slugger.
You’re all done. You did good.
DEAN
Mm.
[ Breathes deeply ]
ACT II
[Upstairs]
BESS [to Sam]
Kids are finally asleep.
How are you feeling?
SAM
Uh...Better, actually.
BESS
I told you.
SAM
Yeah.
[Dean and Garth enter the living room where Sam and Bess are talking. Dean’s mouth is full of cotton and his cheeks are bulging]
SAM
Hey.
Where have you been?
DEAN
Gettung ma teef fixed.
GARTH
I had to numb him up. He’ll be fine in an hour.
DEAN
Mm.
SAM
What?
DEAN
Okay.
[ Spits into a cup ]
GARTH
Seriously...what is going on here?
SAM
What do you mean?
GARTH
I mean, apparently Dean’s never been to a dentist before, and suddenly he got a mouthful of cavities, you’re sick, and your car is broken down.
Who did you guys piss off?
SAM
God.
BESS I’m sorry. What?
SAM
Yeah.
BESS
God. The God is trying to kill you?
SAM
Well, uh, trying to make us kill each other.
GARTH
So, he’s a writer, and you’ve basically been the heroes of his story?
SAM
I guess, yeah.
GARTH
Huh.
Well, what’s that make me? A supporting character? Special guest star?
SAM
No, Garth, it’s not like that.
Oh, no, no, no. I want to be the guest star.
Being the hero sucks.
I mean, sure, you’ll probably win eventually, but until you do, your life blows.
Your parents get gunned down in an alleyway.
Your home planet gets blown up.
You, uh, interview this good-looking rich guy, and it doesn’t go well, so he shows up at the hardware store where you work, and, man, it starts to get, you know...
BESS
It’s from, uh – We love “Fifty Shades.”
GARTH
Yeah, we do.
[ Both laugh ]
SAM
Who’s the hero in that?
GARTH
No, no, no. The point is, the hero thing – it’s not fun.
Well, I mean, there are some good things about it.
Like, uh, when was the last time that Batman got a flat tire?
Or Superman couldn’t pay his water bill?
BESS
Or the power goes out in the Red Room?
GARTH
Exactly.
See, the hero never sweats the small stuff.
It slows down the story.
SAM
So, then, what happened?
Chuck...downgraded us?
GARTH
Maybe, yeah. And now you’re –
DEAN [muffled]
Cursed.
C-Cursed.
Cursed.
GARTH
No – normal. For the first time in your lives, you’re having normal-people problems.
[Points to Dean]
You need to get a colonoscopy, stat.
DEAN
What?
SAM
So how do we fix this?
GARTH
I don’t know.
BRAD [from upstairs]
Bess?!
Bess?
[They all go upstairs]
[Brad is breathing heavily ]
BRAD
Who’re they?
GARTH
They’re friends.
BRAD
Like Hunter friends?
BESS
Brad, they’re cool.
GARTH
Now tell us what happened to you.
BRAD
Fell down the stairs.
SAM
Brad, listen, we don’t care that you’re a werewolf, but you got attacked by a wraith, which is really weird.
Now, we’re just trying to understand what happened.
So help us. Please.
[ Brad chuckles ]
BRAD [to Sam]
Wow. I mean, wow.
With the furrowed brow and the puppy eyes – did you see that?
That never actually works for you, does it?
[Bess grabs Brads injured hand and squeezes]
BRAD
Aah!
BESS
Answer the question.
BRAD
Ow!
Okay!
[ Grunts ]
It’s – It’s a place... monsters go.
They fight for money.
DEAN
Money? Like, real money?
Hey, I can talk.
BRAD
Good for you. Yeah, real money.
Okay?
They pay to watch it.
They livestream it on the Dark Web or whatever.
SAM
Wait a second. So – So, you –
BRAD
Yeah, I needed the cash.
Got three baby mamas – I got bills.
SAM
This place – where is it?
I know you don’t want to tell us, but –
BRAD
Belgrade, Minnesota. Old warehouse off Peach Street.
DEAN
Well, that was easy.
BRAD
Yeah, well, lot of fangs in there.
You know, I figure you two walk in, they’re gonna rip you to pieces.
[ Laughs ]
[Bess grabs his hand again]
BRAD
Ow!
Really?!
🎶
[It’s nighttime and Garth, Sam and Dean are standing outside Garth’s house]
GARTH
I don’t think you should go.
DEAN
Garth, we don’t have a choice, okay?
That many freaks in one place? You know they’re dropping bodies.
GARTH
Yeah, but the old Sam and Dean, they could’ve handled this, no problem.
But you guys...
SAM
Can’t?
DEAN
Hey, look, just because God yanked the magic horseshoe out of our ass or whatever doesn’t mean that we’re gonna give up.
This is our job. It’s what we do.
And, yeah, it might be a little harder right now, but so what?
Bring it.
SAM
What he said.
GARTH
All right. Then I’m coming, too.
DEAN
Oh, no, no, no.
No.
Garth, come on. You got a family, okay?
You got a life. If something went wrong – and, right now, with us, everything’s going wrong – we’re not doing that to Bess, to the kids.
GARTH
Okay, you’re right.
Well, at least let me get you a new set of spark plugs.
DEAN
Yeah.
SAM
Deal.
🎶
🎶
[It’s daytime and Sam and Dean are driving down the road. They pull up in front of the warehouse Brad told them about]
[ Brakes squeal ]
🎶
🎶
DEAN
Isolated, run-down – yep, that’ll do Monster Bloodsport.
This should be perfect.
[They walk to the back of the car, Sam opens the trunk while Dean takes a bite of a sandwich]
DEAN
Oh, man.
Bess makes the best grilled cheese.
SAM
Yeah, you ate like seven of them.
DEAN
Well, I’m a growing boy.
[Dean grabs a duffle bag from the trunk]
Let’s go.
SAM Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
DEAN What?
SAM [opening the false bottom in the trunk]
Dean...Extra rounds, dead man’s blood, first-aid kit, emergency flares...
DEAN
Seriously?
SAM
Dude, if Garth was right, if we’re really normal now, we can’t just charge in there guns blazing.
We need to be ready for anything.
DEAN
Well, I guess we’d need a grenade launcher.
[Dean grabs the grenade launcher while Sam puts a variety of weapons and ammunition from the trunk]
Hey, sweetheart.
I don’t think we’ve used that .38 in about four years.
[Dean aims the grenade launcher and pretends to fire it]
Hyah!
Hyah!
🎶
[Sam and Dean walk into warehouse and see the fight cage.]
SAM
Welcome to Fight Club.
[ Sam walks into a metal bucket and it clatters as it falls ]
SAM
I –
DEAN
You forget how to walk?
[ Dean’s stomach starts gurgling loudly ]
DEAN
Oh.
SAM
What was that?
DEAN
[ Grunts ]
Not good, that’s –
[ Gurgling continues ]
SAM
You okay?
DEAN
[ Groans ]
Oh, God.
[ Gurgling continues ]
I gotta go.
SAM
Go?
DEAN
I-I gotta go.
SAM
What?
DEAN [dropping the gear bag]
Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom.
SAM [calling to Dean as he runs to find bathroom]
Dean?
Dean?
🎶
[ Dean finds the bathroom and throws himself over the toilet, vomiting ]
SAM
You know, I think you might be lactose-intolerant now.
[ Dean vomiting loudly ]
DEAM
I’m ok–
[ Vomiting continues ]
[ Gags ]
DEAN
Sam?
Sammy?
Oh, please, just kill me now.
[A man pushes open the door, points the grenade launcher at Dean]
MAN
Can do.
[ Vomits ]
ACT III
[Sam and Dean are inside the fight cage]
SAM
Can’t believe they got the drop on me.
I didn’t even hear them coming.
DEAN
Yeah, well, I got jumped while I was in the crapper, okay?
I win.
“Normal”?
Sucks.
[ Door opens and the man walks into the area ]
MAN
Sam, Dean? Can I get you anything?
Water? Hot towel?
SAM
Who are you?
MAN
Cutty.
This is my place.
DEAN
Oh, so all this chain-link, razor wire, and rat crap is yours, huh?
Well, congrats.
CUTTY [walking around the cage]
So, now you know me, and I know you.
We’re like...friends.
SAM
You keep all your friends in a cage?
CUTTY
Only the ones I really like.
DEAN
All right. So, what’re you? A monster?
CUTTY
I am. Shifter.
DEAN
Shifter? So you chose that face?
CUTTY
But I don’t let my gifts define me.
See, more than anything, I’m a sportsman.
See, to me, man, monster, they’re at their best, their most pure, in the heat of competition.
SAM
Right.
CUTTY
Yeah, sure, I could’ve killed you, but no.
I want to see your best.
I want to see what the Winchesters are capable of.
Stripped down, closed in, just you against the world.
Or Maul here.
[A very big man walks into the area]
[ Growling ]
DEAN
“Maul”?
That – Maul?
Come on, man. What’s your real name, huh?
Marvin? Marion?
MAUL
Murder.
[ Growls ]
SAM
You want us to fight?
CUTTY
Obviously.
Together, though.
I don’t want to break up the team.
DEAN
You sure about that?
‘Cause if you know us, you know the stories.
See, me and my brother here, we’ve taken down way bigger fellas than, uh, [clicks tongue] Meredith here.
[ Growls ]
We’ve killed angels, killed demons, Gods, and Alphas.
So why don’t you do yourself a favor – cut your losses, let us walk out that door before we burn this crap hole to the ground.
CUTTY
Yeah...no.
Maul will show you to your rooms.
[Cutty walks away and Maul shows his fangs, growling ]
🎶
[ Bell dings ]
[A ‘commercial’ plays, advertising Monday Monster Mayhem. An announcer speaks over various clips of monsters fighting in the cage including the wraith, Brads and Maul]
ANNOUNCER
Tonight, two of Fight Night’s biggest rivals will face off in the ring again!
Killer Wraith versus Jamaica Djinn!
Who will claim victory, and who will suffer defeat?
And then, in this ring, the mighty Maul returns, and this time, he’ll take on the merciless Winchesters!
Get ready for a...battle royale!
[ Indistinct conversations ]
[All right, all right.
Fighters to the ring.
[The wraith and another fighter enter the cage while the crowd shouts and cheers ]
[Sam is watching through a small window in the door of the room he locked in. Dean is in a similar room next to him]
SAM
There’s a lot of people – lot of monsters – out there.
DEAN
Awesome.
Yeah, it’s just how I wanted to die – with a freakin’ audience.
[ Bell dings ]
Fight! [the fight commences in the cage]
[ Roars ]
[Dean is messing with the top of the door frame]
SAM
What are you doing?
DEAN
Baby, come on, come on.
[Dean pulls a nail from the door frame]
DEAN
Ha ha!
I’m picking the lock.
[ Clicking ]
[ Cheering ]
SAM
Hurry.
DEAN
Can’t get it.
SAM
What?
DEAN
Ow! Broke a nail.
SAM
Here, let me do it. Here, come on.
[ Crowd cheering ]
SAM
We do this all the time.
What the hell?
DEAN
Friggin’ normal! That’s what.
[ Nail clangs ]
DEAN
Aw, come on!
SAM
So could we ever actually pick locks, or was it Chuck this whole time?
DEAN
Well, dude, if we can’t do this, then how the hell are we supposed to take care of Supervamp out there?
SAM
I don’t think we can.
[ Crowd booing ]
DEAN
No way.
Wait. After everything, there’s no way that Chuck lets us die like this.
SAM
Or he does, to – I don’t know – to teach us a lesson.
Or maybe we just end up paralyzed.
🎶
DEAN
No, we gotta win.
We gotta win, man.
That’s not gonna be easy, okay?
But you and me?
Not everything we did was because of Chuck.
It was us – the blood, the sweat, the tears, man.
That’s us.
[ Crowd booing ]
[ Growling ]
We’ve been doing this our whole lives.
We’re the best in the world.
So I say we go out there.
I say we go out there, and we kick some ass.
[ Bell dings. The fight ends with the wraith losing ]
[ Cheering ]
🎶
[ Cheering ]
🎶
ANNOUNCER:
Your winner – Djinn!
[The wraith is helped out of the cage]
🎶
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the main event!
Your first fighter, weighing in at 310 pounds, the mighty Maul!
[ Cheers and applause ]
🎶
[ Maul enters the cage and roars ]
🎶
ANNOUNCER
And his opponent – sorry, opponents – straight out of Lawrence, Kansas.
You know them, you don’t like them – the Winchesters!
[ Crowd booing ]
CUTTY
It’s time.
Oh, and, boys? Shirts off.
[Cutty enters the cell and Sam and Dean are gone]
CUTTY
Damn it!
ACT IV
🎶
[The scene rewinds to people walking into the cage area. The camera zooms in on a guy with a hat covering most of his face. As he passes Cutty, we see that it’s Garth. He walks into the area where Sam and Dean are being held.]
[ coughing ]
DEAN
I think a bug went in my throat.
[ Coughing ]
Oh, freakin’ normal.
[ Bell dings ]
ANNOUNCEER
Your winner – Djinn!
SAM [worriedly]
Dean? Dean!
ANNOUNCER
It’s time for...
DEAN
Garth?!
GARTH [his hat]
Yo.
DEAN
What are you doing?
GARTH
I tried to call, and when you didn’t pick up, I figured you were super boned.
DEAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re super boned.
Super boned! Come on. Get us out of here.
[ Garth eyes turn yellow as he growls and pulls the locks on the doors off with his hands ]
SAM
Hurry.
DEAN
You are so strong.
GARTH
Let’s roll.
DEAN [whispering]
So strong.
[Sam, Dean and Garth run out of the cage area as Cutty approaches]
CUTTY
It’s time.
Oh, and, boys? Shirts off.
Damn it!
[Sam, Dean and Garth are running out of the building across the parking lot towards Baby]
DEAN
Come on! We gotta – We gotta get somewhere!
We gotta regroup! We gotta come up with a plan!
[The crowd boos as Maul stands in the cage without Sam and Dean]
[Garth stops and looks back at the warehouse]
SAM
Garth? Hey!
DEAN
Hey, what are you doing?
We gotta get outta here before the Monster Squad shows up!
GARTH
I’ve already got a plan.
SAM
What?
GARTH
The Monster Squad were the good guys.
We’re the Monster Squad.
[ Garth holds up a radio controller/detonator and extends the antenna. Flashback to Garth walking through the warehouse, before getting to Sam and Dean, dropping explosives in various places in the warehouse ]
[ He pushes the detonator and there is an explosion inside the warehouse ]
GARTH-
C4 –a Hunter’s best friend.
Cool, right?
SAM
Thanks, Garth.
[ Dean laughs ]
GARTH [holding his arm out to Dean]
All right.
Bring it in.
DEAN
Oh.
SAM [gesturing towards his nose]
Well, still –
[ Maul walks out of the burning warehouse, roaring. He rolls his neck and his bones crack loudly ]
DEAN
No way.
GARTH
Go! I’ve got this.
[Garth turns werewolf and Maul stomps towards him]
[ Growling ]
SAM
Garth...
Garth!
[Garth swipes at Maul. Maul hits him and he flies into the back of a dumpster, unconscious. Maul turns to Sam and Dean]
DEAN
Hey, did you believe me when I said I thought we could win this thing?
SAM
Nope.
DEAN
Yeah, me neither.
[ Growls ]
DEAN [yelling at Maul]
Bring it on, Madison!
Hyah!
[Dean kicks Maul in the groin and he doesn’t flinch. Maul kicks Dean in the groin and Dean falls to the ground, grabbing his groin]
DEAN
Ohh!
[ Body thuds ]
[Maul sets his sights on Sam. He stands there, while Sam throws several punches. Maul points to his chin and waits for Sam to hit him. Sam does, to no effect, and Maul hauls off and punches Sam in the face. Sam drops to the ground and Dean jumps up in front of Maul. Dean ‘machine guns’ several punches to Maul’s stomach and then punches him in the face. Annoyed, Maul head buts Dean, knocking him to the ground. It’s Sam’s turn again-he tries to kick Maul but Maul grabs his foot and flips him backwards. Maul picks Dean up and puts him in a choke hold]
DEAN
Ooh.
[ Grunts ]
[ Chokes ]
MAUL
This was fun.
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Gasps ]
MAUL
Fun.
Unh!
[Dean ‘taps out’ on Maul’s arm and he lets Dean go]
[ Breathes deeply ]
[ Growls ]
[As they’re preparing to fight again, a machete slices through the top of Maul’s head down to his jaw. As he falls, Garth is standing behind him]
GARTH
He got Garth’d.
DEAN
Aha-ha!
[ Higher-pitched and bending over ]
It’s weird. It, like, hurts in my stomach.
It’s not even – It’s, like, up here.
It’s, like, where my ribs are. I don’t know why.
Has my voice gone higher?
ACT V
[Sam and Dean are in Garth’s house, each holding a baby]
[ Baby coos ]
DEAN
This Cass keeps looking at me weird.
SAM
So kind of like the real Cass.
BESS I packed you some of those grilled-cheese sandwiches you love.
DEAN
Oh.
SAM
Oh, thanks.
[ Clears throat ]
[ Baby Cass growls and his eyes turn yellow ]
DEAN [handing baby Cass to Bess]
Uh, you know what?
I think this guy’s got a little something for you.
BESS
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
SAM [handing baby Sam back to Bess]
Yeah. We better go.
BESS
Oh. Okay.
Bye.
GARTH
I’ll walk you out.
DEAN
Okay. Bye, guys.
BESS
Bye.
SAM
Bye.
[Sam, Dean and Garth are outside the house]
DEAN
Hey, listen, Garth, I just want to say, what – what you did –
GARTH
Ah. It was nothing.
SAM
Nothing? You saved us and blew up a bunch of monsters.
That’s not nothing.
DEAN
That’s – That’s being a hero.
[ Garth chuckles ]
GARTH
I guess I learned from the best.
You guys, you gonna be okay?
DEAN
What? Because we’re normal?
GARTH
That, and because the Almighty’s after you.
SAM
Right, yeah.
Um, I, uh...
We don’t know.
GARTH
Listen, I wasn’t gonna say this earlier, but... there might be something that could help.
DEAN
What kind of something?
GARTH
I heard this story once about this place you can go if your luck’s gone bad.
SAM
What kind of place?
GARTH
Not sure.
The guy who told me said it was in Alaska, on the road between Barrow and Kotzebue.
He said, “You’ll know it when you see it,” whatever that means.
Look, it might not even be real, and you know this stuff works.
There’s always a catch.
And being normal – I mean, maybe you’ll get used to it.
DEAN
Yeah. Maybe.
GARTH
Anyway, if you ever need anything...
SAM
We know.
GARTH
Good.
SAM
Thanks for everything.
[Sam hugs Garth]
DEAN [Hugs Garth]
All right, Garth.
[ Sniffs ]
Hey, you know what?
You don’t smell too bad yourself.
GARTH
It’s Hai Karate.
DEAN
Okay.
[Sam and Dean walk towards the Impala]
GARTH
Stay safe out there.
SAM
You too.
[ Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London” plays ]
🎶 I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand 🎶
🎶 Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain 🎶
🎶 He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s 🎶
[Sam and Dean watch Garth and Bess dancing in their living room]
DEAN
You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.
🎶 Aa-hooo! Werewolves of London 🎶
SAM
Well, you were awesome at the Macarena.
DEAN
Yeah.
🎶 Aa-hooo! Werewolves of London 🎶
[Inside the Impala]
DEAN
So...
What now?
SAM
I don’t know.
Garth’s right – stuff like that, there’s always a downside.
And being normal...
DEAN
Is fine.
For normal people with normal problems.
But you and me? There’s zero about our lives that’s normal.
And the way things are going, if we don’t fix this, we might kill each other by accident.
SAM
[ Scoffs ] Yeah.
DEAN
And if Chuck comes back, we can’t go up against him like this.
[ Sam sniffs ]
SAM
So, uh...
Alaska?
DEAN
Alaska.
[ Engine starts ]
[ Engine struggling ]
[ Engine stops ]
[ Engine sputtering, car stalls ]
DEAN
SON OF A BITCH!!
🎶