13.13 Devil's Bargain (transcript)
Written by: Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner
Directed by: Eduardo Sánchez
Air Date: February 8, 2018EXT: Forest – night. Castiel stumbles through a forest at night. Flashbacks of Lucifer beating him up. He passes out. Next morning two boys discover Castiel.
Boy 1
Told ya I found a body. See.
Boy 2
Dead. (pokes Castiel with a stick)
Castiel wakes and the two boys run off screaming. Castiel goes back to building he and Lucifer escaped from.
Castiel
LUCIFER!! Where are you?!
ACT ONE
EXT: Monroe City, Missouri – Sidewalk – Day
Woman skating clumsily on sidewalk. Man walks out of bakery carrying a wedding cake. She crashes into him and the cake goes flying but he catches the girl before she can fall.
Girl
I think I just fell for you.
Guy
I’d catch you anytime you fell.
(they continue talking and the scene moves to a man with a smile)
Lucifer
Nice job. Another happy beginning. Right? Cupid.
Lucifer slams Cupid against a fence and cuts his throat and takes his grace.
LUCIFER
Oh…that’s very good. But I need seconds, where can I find more angels?
CUPID
I..I (Lucifer punches him in the face and grabs him by his coat)
LUCIFER
Where do I find more angels?
CUPID
I don’t know. There, there aren’t many of us left.
LUCIFER
Don’t lie to me.
CUPID
I’m not. Please leave.
LUCIFER
Oh..okay okay. Poor cupid. Fine. You know, without your grace you’re only human, so you should be careful. Accidents can happen. (Shoves his fist through Cupid’s chest) Like that. Sorry.
INT: Bunker Dean, Sam and Cas sitting at a table
DEAN
Let me get this straight – you were kidnapped, weeks ago, locked up. Cas, I just talked to you on the phone.
CAS
No. No. Asmodeus had my phone. You’ve been talking to him.
SAM
What did he want with you?
CAS
Well, he must have wanted Lucifer. I just, I just happened to be in proximity.
SAM
Lucifer? No no.
DEAN
No no we slammed his ass back to Apocalypse World how did–
CAS
Kevin Tran.
DEAN
Kevin Tran.
CAS
Apocalypse World version, yes. We managed to open a rift using Lucifer’s grace.
SAM
They have an angel tablet?
CAS
Yes. And the archangel, Michael, again the Apocalypse World version, wants to use the spell to invade and conquer our world. That’s why I met with Lucifer.
DEAN
So...You met ... Cas, I specifically told you not to do anything stupid.
CAS
Well, he was weak and given the context of our imminent annihilation it didn’t seem stupid. Lucifer wanted to help fight Michael.
SAM
Oh yeah, Lucifer wanted to help, sure.
CAS
If he were lying I’d have known it. He was, he was scared. But Asmodeus showed up before we could finish our conversation and when we finally managed to escape Lucifer did try to kill me.
DEAN
Oh so much for helping.
SAM
He say anything about our mom?
CAS
She’s alive. That’s all I know. I’m sorry.
EXT: Monroe City Lucifer is walking down sidewalk, going through “withdrawals” from angel grace.
LUCIFER
Nothing but humans. Not a wing flapper in sight.
Man stares at Lucifer
LUCIFER
What? What are you gawking at? You never seen the prince of darkness before, pal? Turn around. Come on man.
(Lucifer shivering, looking at a window with winter coats, watching people eat while his stomach rumbles.)
What? Hungry? Ew... (sees sign for a burger and fries) Seriously?
(watches a man (Tim) with a box begging for money)
INT: Needham Asylum Asmodeus on throne
ASMODEUS
It was a simple task. All these fools had to do was keep Lucifer on ice till I returned from an important errand.
KETCH
Frankly, I’m shocked you left.
ASMODEUS
I believe I said it was an important errand. (Ketch just glares at Asmodeus)
My initial thought was to take Lucifer prisoner but that’s proven to be a...
KETCH
Monumentally stupid?
(stare down between Asmodeus and Ketch)
ASMODEUS
Indeed. So, take two. I want you to kill him.
KETCH
Kill, the Devil?
ASMODEUS
Oh, he’s runnin’ on empty. Nice angel blade to the heart and he’ll go down. Probably. Do it fast, though. Before he fills the tank.
KETCH
And if he does?
ASMODEUS
Oh. Well then I believe we’re all dead.
EXT: Monroe City – benches on sidewalk
LUCIFER
(holding a tin can) Give me some money. Come on man... (as man puts money in Tim’s box)
TIM
Bless you sir.
LUCIFER
Gag me. Money. Or your jacket. Money please. Come on... (as people continue to put money in Tim’s box and none to Lucifer) What’s the matter with you?!?!
TIM
Hey, just so you know, it’s your vibe.
LUCIFER
Oh, it’s my vibe?
TIM
It’s off putting. People don’t, people don’t take to you.
LUCIFER
Yeah, well, maybe because isn’t me. I, I don’t need money, or food or warmth, or dental floss or any of that crap. Being human sucks.
TIM
Yeah, but, what’s the alternative?
LUCIFER
Don’t even get me started, pal. Can I have that, please? (to stranger walking by)
TIM
Well, closing time. You hungry?
(Tim and Lucifer walking down sidewalk. Lucifer wants to go in restaurant. Tim leads him to dumpster.)
LUCIFER
Hey, hey, aren’t we going inside the restaurant there to eat, to eat a little dinner?
TIM
No, almost there. Come on.
(Tim opens dumpster)
LUCIFER
Ohhhh Come on....
TIM
Corelli’s lasagna...kills. Frankly it’s better the next day. (hands Lucifer a container from dumpster)
LUCIFER
OOOkay, yeah, why don’t we uh...why don’t we take that big pile of cash you got there and go inside the restaurant and get a dinner that’s botulism light?
TIM
Oh no. That money is going right into the old leg fund.
LUCIFER
The old leg fund? Look, I got news for you, your leg is shot. No doctor’s going to help you with that so we might as well–
TIM
I’m not blowing my money on doctors. I’m going to see Sister Jo.
LUCIFER
Sister Jo?
TIM
She don’t come cheap but she can heal anything.
LUCIFER
She’s a faith healer? Okay, let you down easy.. She’s a fake. They’re all fake, man.
TIM
No. I’ve seen it. Boils, blindness, birth defects. She touches you, there’s this glow and you’re cured.
LUCIFER
Really??
TIM
Yeah.
ACT TWO
INT: Bunker Dean walks in carrying demon tablet
CAS
It’s a long shot at best.
DEAN
Yeah, well, most of what we do are long shots, you get used to it. Cas, I’m sorry. All that time you were with Asmodeus, I should have known it wasn’t you.
CAS
No, he’s a shapeshifter. Besides, I was the one who got myself captured.
DEAN
Yeah, but if Sam and I knew you know we would have–
CAS
Yeah, I know you would have tried another long shot. I’m fine, Dean.
DEAN
You sure about that?
CAS
Right now, all that matters is getting Jack and your mother out of that place. Kay? Look, I promised Kelly that I would protect her son. I intend to keep that promise.
(Door opens in comes Sam and Donatello)
DEAN
Hey, there he is. Donny, how you doing?
DONATELLO
Uh, the usual. Bewildered.
DEAN
Right, cool. So here’s the plan. We nab Lucifer.
SAM
If he is as weak as Cas says, then the angel cuffs should work on him.
CAS
Yeah, maybe.
DEAN
Well, maybe is all we got. So, we grab Satan, we use his grace to open a door between the two universes okay? Then we get Mom and we get Jack and then we get out. Slam the door before Michael follows us and destroys our universe. Now it’s gonna be harder than it sounds.
DONATELLO
And so the spell to open this rift is in the angel tablet.
SAM
Yeah, they are – um – on Earth 2. Except
CAS
Except we don’t have the angel tablet anymore.
SAM
No, we don’t. But we do have the demon tablet. (uncovers the tablet sitting on the tablet, Donatello picks it up)
CAS
We thought it might mention the spell as well, because it, too, is the word of God.
DEAN
And since you speak God, we figured it was right up your alley. So, give it a swing.
DONATELLO
These glyphs are nearly impenetrable.
SAM
Great. Um... Is there anything we can get you, or uh–
DONATELLO
Chicken wings.
DEAN
Excuse me?
DONATELLO
Chicken wings. Heavy lifting like this requires real brain fuel. My analysis of the half lives of the 33 arsenic isotopes – about, oh, 25 buckets.
(Angel radio goes off in Cas)
SAM
Cas, you alright?
CAS
It’s angel radio. A vessel was found last night, mutilated.
DONATELLO
Wait... Who’s killing angels?
INT: Elgin Hall
(sign on table For the Fallen $300 minimum)
Old lady with a walker is touched by Sister Jo. Light glows from Sister Jo’s hands. Old lady stands up straight and throws walker away. Crowd gasps and claps their hands. Man with burn scars stands before Sister Jo.
SISTER JO
Don’t be afraid.
(puts hands on his face, whispers and light glows from hands. Scars fade.)
You’re whole again. (hold up mirror so he can see)
YOUNG MAN
Thank you. (crying) Thank you.
(crowd is clapping and Lucifer is seen in back of room staring at Sister Jo.)
EXT: Lane where Cupid was killed
SAM
So according to the report, the vic died from trauma. Something blunt driven through the body. There was also a slit in his neck, which means–
CAS
Lucifer fed on this angel’s grace. Which means he’s trying to restore his power and if he does–
DEAN
We’re boned.
CAS
Epically.
INT: Elkin Hall – Sister Jo is at the stage counting money
SISTER JO
We’re closed. Come back tomorrow.
LUCIFER
Oh, but I need a healing, Sister Jo. Or should I say Anael? You’re an angel.
SISTER JO
Back at ya, Lucifer.
LUCIFER
What, no eek? No spare me dark master? No quaking fear?
SISTER JO
Should I quake?
LUCIFER
Yeah, most people sorta do, yeah.
SISTER JO
I’m not most.
LUCIFER
Right... you’re special because you heal people for money. Not very heavenly I have to say.
SISTER JO
We’re not in heaven. We’re on earth. You may have noticed, around here, the good life ain’t cheap.
After the fall, all the angels were a mess. Desperate for housing, any vessel would do. And they had no long game. I, on the other hand, took some care. I listened. A woman was praying for her dying husband, so we made a trade. His life for her vessel. She was grateful. I realized humans are so desperate for life they’d do almost anything, pay almost anything. So... ka-ching. I was a so-so angel but it turns out I am an excellent businesswoman.
LUCIFER
Well, that is very impressive. (angel blade slides into his hand)
As you can see, my high octane grace is a bit low so I came for a recharge, which unfortunately doesn’t end well for you.
SISTER JO
That’s not very cost efficient. Running around, killing angels.
LUCIFER
What?
SISTER JO
Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep one premium angel on tap? Take a sip now. Sip later. Not taking all the grace but giving the angel time to recharge. Then, rinse and repeat.
LUCIFER
And that angel being... You’d do that?
SISTER JO
It’s better than having you suck me dry and kill me, isn’t it? This way I help you, you help me. Still a businesswoman.
EXT: Sidewalk benches in Monroe City
Sam approaches Tim with FBI badge out
SAM
Excuse me, sir? Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?
TIM
Yeah, no, I’m kind of working here man.
SAM
I’ll tell you what, I’ll be quick. I promise. Just tell me, have you ever seen this man? (holds a pic of Lucifer on phone)
TIM
Actually we had a lovely chat. He was curious about this faith healer I’m saving up to see. She’s gonna fix this leg right up. Sister Jo.
SAM
Did he, uh, believe in her?
TIM
Not at first, but after I described her skills, he was very supportive.
INT: Elgin Hall – night time
Lucifer drinking Sister Jo’s grace.
LUCIFER
Woo.
SISTER JO
Better?
LUCIFER
So much better. Ahh. That was so much more fun than my last time. Had to kill that guy.
SISTER JO
When was that?
LUCIFER
Two nights ago.
SISTER JO
That was you? That was all over angel radio.
LUCIFER
Yeah. Star power, can’t fight it.
SISTER JO
Did anyone know you were coming here?
ACT THREE
INT: Elgin Hall Sam, Dean and Cas come bursting through the doors all three with angel blades drawn and are faced with Ketch
KETCH
Heheh, it’s only you.
DEAN
What the hell are you doing here?
KETCH
Do we really have to do all of this again? Last time we were together I saved your lives and you shot me. Doesn’t that make us even?
DEAN
No, I guess not.
SAM
Dean asked you a question. What are you doing here?
KETCH
My sources tell me Lucifer’s back, he’s weak and he’s or was in this wonderful little slice of Americana. I was going to try and kill him. As were you, I assume.
SAM
Okay, who are you working for?
KETCH
Isn’t it possible that I am simply trying to strike a blow for the good of humanity?
CAS
No. That’s not possible.
KETCH
Truth be told, taking out Lucifer would be an enormous feather in the cap. My business model is very, um, word of mouth.
SAM
Alright, so if Lucifer isn’t here, where is he?
KETCH
Ah, excellent question. I propose we team up. Share intel. Cover more ground. Hmm? Huzzah!
(Cas reaches out and touches Ketch on the forehead knocking him out. He then gets loaded into the trunk of Baby)
DEAN
Alright, I say we take dickbag back to the bunker and find out what he knows, put a bullet in him and burn his bones and flush his ashes.
CAS
I like that plan.
SAM
Hey, check this out. (shows video of Sister Jo on his tablet)
DEAN
That’s Sister Jo, the faith healer?
CAS
No that’s not a, she’s an angel. Her name is Anael.
SAM
Alright, so say Lucifer drained her and killed her, where’s her body?
INT: Impala on road
Sam gets an alert on his phone.
SAM
No way.
DEAN
What you got?
SAM
So I set an alert up on my phone. It looks like Sister Jo just used her credit card.
CAS
Where?
INT: Motel
Lucifer tries to take more grace from Sister Jo.
SISTER JO
We don’t have to rush. (puts her hand on the angel blade stopping him) We can do this slowly. (helps him slice her neck and he takes some grace. This is done several times til they lay on bed.)
SISTER JO
It’s always so strange. That final moment. When I’ve lost just enough grace that I’m almost..
LUCIFER
Human?
SISTER JO
I feel emotions, sensations, things they must feel.
LUCIFER
Yeah, I had that experience. I didn’t like it. Hunger, cold, loneliness. I don’t know how they keep going.
SISTER JO
I do. When I’m in that place, I can see how there’d be pain, but there’s also hope, love even. Angels can only imagine. Sometimes I envy humans. They can be anything. Do you know what my job was upstairs? I pushed a button. A soul would come in, I’d push a button, they’d be counted and I’d wait for the next. So...
LUCIFER
Boring?
SISTER JO
Eternal. I mean, I had ideas. I saw how heaven was running and I knew how to fix it and no one would listen to me. Not Michael, not Raphael. Not Naomi. They would just send me back to push my button.
LUCIFER
So up there you’re nobody. Down here, you’re somebody.
SISTER JO
After the fall, when we lost our wings, I wasn’t devastated. I was liberated. I was finally free. But you must know how that feels.
LUCIFER
No. No I always wanted to fit in, please a father I couldn’t please. And now I’m gonna be a father. Probably screw it up like he did.
SISTER JO
Lucifer, the great and terrible.
LUCIFER
I don’t know why I said that. Stupid. I mean it’s like pretty soon I’m not going to feel anything. I mean the more I do this the stronger I get, the more “me” I become. Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, King of Lies. I’m back baby.
SISTER JO
Then what?
LUCIFER
And then I find my son and then the fun really starts.
INT: Needham Asylum. Asmodeus sitting on throne, minion enters room
ASMODEUS
This better be good news.
MINION
It is, my lord. The prophet, we found him.
ACT FOUR
EXT: Chicken Restaurant – Donatello leaving with a bucket of wings; Cas is behind him
DONATELLO
Ohh Hey! It’s you. I thought I felt a presence.
CAS
I sensed you as well. Sam and Dean are still tracking Lucifer but they asked me to check in on you.
DONATELLO
Oh, well, uh, I’m making progress with the demon tablet, but oh my goodness, it’s a challenge.
CAS
Really?
DONATELLO
I have determined though that there is definitely some kind of spell for, uh, you know, opening a door to that other world.
CAS
Well, that would be very useful.
DONATELLO
Yes, the ingredients are very very complicated. I’m just starting to, uh, decipher them.
CAS
Well let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
DONATELLO
I really doubt it. Since apparently I’m the only one on the planet who can read the damn thing. I just hope I’m in time.
CAS
You mean before Michael comes.
DONATELLO
Before anything happens to Jack or the boys’ mom. I couldn’t live with myself if they never make it out of that terrible place.
(Cas becomes Asmodeus)
ASMODEUS
Yes, yes that would be very tragic. Forget this (as he places his hand on Donatello’s forehead). Whatever you find on that tablet you will report to me. Understand?
DONATELLO
(in a daze) yes.
ASMODEUS
Good boy. Run along now.
EXT: Motel where Sister Jo and Lucifer are staying.
Dean, Sam and Cas pull up in Impala and get out.
DEAN
This is it?
SAM
Yep, last place Jo or someone used her credit card. Checked in last night.
CAS
Do you think Lucifer is with her?
DEAN
Or she’s dead. One way to find out.
(inside room – Lucifer on bed reading Bible)
LUCIFER
Would you look at this? Wrong, that’s wrong. Does anybody fact-check this stuff?
(the phone rings and Sister Jo answers)
SISTER JO
Hello? My card? Of course it’s good.
SAM (on phone)
Yeah, okay. You know what, our system must be screwy. Do you mind bringing the card back so I can run it again?
SISTER JO
Okay, just a minute.
SAM
Sure I’ll be here. That’s great. Thank you. (to Dean and Cas) Well, good news, she’s alive.
(Sister Jo walks toward hotel office, Cas steps out)
CAS
Anael.
SISTER JO
Castiel. What are you doing here?
DEAN
We’re going to ask you the same thing?
SAM
We’re looking for Lucifer. Have you seen him? Do you know where he is?
SISTER JO
Yes, he’s in the room.
CAS
Has he hurt you?
SISTER JO
Not yet. He’s threatened. He wants to drain my grace.
SAM
So he’s still weak?
SISTER JO
Very. You have to help me.
DEAN
We will. But first you’re going to have to help us.
INT: Motel Room
LUCIFER
Dad’s been stealing my best lines, man.
(Knock on door)
SISTER JO
Lord Lucifer? Can you let me in? Sorry, I forgot my key.
LUCIFER
Lord Lucifer... I likey. (opens door) Booya.
DEAN
Morning sunshine.
LUCIFER
Sup, Gents? Hehehey.. ah.. oh Cas.. You’re alive. That’s awesome.
SISTER JO
They made me. They forced me to tell them how weak you still are.
LUCIFER
Well, great seeing you. It’s been a long time. Eh, nice jacket there, Dean. Your hair, Sam, it’s magnificent. Is that a leave-in conditioner you have there?
SAM (to Sister Jo)
We got this. Go.
LUCIFER
So what do we do now? You gonna kill me?
DEAN
Mmm, eventually. (holds up angel cuffs)
Sister Jo attacks Sam, Lucifer gets Cas and then Dean.
SISTER JO to Lucifer
We need to go.
LUCIFER
I just want to enjoy this for just a minute. (as he squeezes Dean, Sam and Cas) That’s good. That’s really good.
(Ketch shows up at door with a demon bomb, Lucifer and Jo vanish)
EXT: Field
LUCIFER
(coughing) I have got to get in better shape. This is ridiculous.
INT: Motel
DEAN
Wait wait wait wait did you just...
KETCH
No, they vanished before it went off. But you’re welcome.
EXT: Field
LUCIFER
Alright, so why did you... you know?
SISTER JO
Like I said, I help you, you help me.
LUCIFER
Right. Cool. Okay, so where on earth do we go now?
(hotel room)
DEAN
Congratulations, you just helped Lucifer escape.
KETCH
Put another way, I opted out of my own escape and put myself in harm’s way to save your lives. Again.
SAM
Alright, alright. How did you get out of the trunk?
KETCH
I’m Ketch. I found the demon bomb in your weapons cache and I thought with Lucifer’s weakened state it might make a dent.
CAS
Well, it seems his weakened state may have been greatly exaggerated.
SAM
Yeah, exactly, and Jo? What’s the deal with her?
CAS
I don’t know. In heaven she was nothing. She was a low level functionary.
DEAN
Yeah, well, now she’s Satan’s gal pal. That’s awesome.
KETCH
Gentlemen, this may once again fall on deaf ears but I shall have another go. Clearly, Lucifer is more dangerous than we thought. I propose we pool resources and go after him together.
SAM
Dude, why would we ever trust you?
KETCH
Fine, as proof of my sincerity, I shall come clean. I’m working for Asmodeus. Happy?
DEAN
Woah, what? How is that supposed to make us feel better?
KETCH
It’s not. It’s supposed to present an opportunity. If I’m working for him then I can pass information on to you.
CAS
Oh right. And you would do that for us?
KETCH
For everyone. I know you think I’m a monster.
DEAN
Because you are.
KETCH
But even I must draw the line somewhere. And letting Lucifer free upon the earth? Well, as it turns out, that’s my line. Not to mention the whole Michael situation. I know you want to kill me. I know you can’t forgive me but if you think about it I’m the lesser of, well, at least three evils. All I ask is that you wait to murder me until after I prove useful. Hmm?
ACT FIVE
EXT: Metatron's Cube (portal to heaven)
LUCIFER
I know we’ve had our problems in the past, little family squabbles, minor little disagreements, ya know, kids being kids kind of stuff, but right now you need me.
ANGEL 1
Kill him.
LUCIFER
Whoa, hey now. Hold on. Hold on. Number one, it’s true, I am powered down, but you can’t kill me.
ANGEL 1
We could try. Repeatedly.
LUCIFER
Look, number 2, I happen to know heaven is in short supply of angels. Alright, let’s face it. After Pop took a powder, your only strength, your only defense, was in numbers. Yeah? And now with the Prince of Hell physically running... hell, if the dark side makes a move, y’all are screwed. You need more you. With Dad gone and everything, I mean, who’s still up for birthing angels? Yo! Yo!
ANGEL 1
You can’t.
SISTER JO
He can, Duma.
ANGEL 1(DUMA)
Who are you to speak to me?
LUCIFER
Okay, she’s with me and you’re going to listen to her. Hey, look, I was here when you, when all of you were born. I saw how the old man did it. I can make angels. Okay? And I’ll do it if...
ANGEL 1
Enough games, Lucifer.
LUCIFER
If for my incredible act of generosity you name me the undisputed and unquestioned ruler in heaven. (laughter from other angels) Yeah funny. Oh come on!! Let’s face it. You don’t want to run the place. Angels were designed to follow, not lead. Don’t give me the stink eye. It wasn’t my idea. The point is you need me. And icing on the cake, guys: how’d you like your wings back?
INT: Bunker with Dean, Sam, Cas and Donatello
CAS
So, Ketch, can we trust him?
DEAN
Not even a little.
SAM
Of course not, but we need him. For now.
CAS
Right. And when we don’t?
DEAN
Guess…
SAM
Donatello? You’re doing great. It looks like you made a lot of progress.
DONATELLO
(screaming) It's like pulling friggin' teeth!! (calmly) I’m working my way through the ingredients.
SAM
Right. Okay. At least we know the spell we need is in there and we have a plan.
INT: Throne room of heaven. Lucifer sitting on throne, Sister Jo standing beside him. All other angels kneeling.
LUCIFER (eyes turning red)
Hail to the king, baby.
INT: Needham Asylum
KETCH
Missed him by seconds. Rest assured, Lucifer will be found.
ASMODEUS
And killed. Before he causes any more problems. Or those idiot Winchesters use him to open up a gate to Michael land. Another stick up his ass archangel is the last thing I need.
KETCH
Yes, well Lucifer is getting stronger, and as good as I am, and I am very good, I don’t think even I can beat the devil at full power.
ASMODEUS
About that... you recall the important errand I had mentioned? Word had got back to me that a certain artifact I thought had been lost forever, resurfaced. And now it’s mine. (opens case to show a blade) Beautiful, isn’t it?
KETCH
Oh yes.
ASMODEUS
The only known weapon capable of destroying an archangel, the archangel blade.
KETCH
You’ll forgive me but my reading of the lore suggests that the blade is only effective if wielded by an archangel.
ASMODEUS
Really? Thanks for the news flash. (window in a cell opens) Allow me to make an introduction. Mr. Ketch, meet the archangel, Gabriel.
