9.05 Dog Dean Afternoon

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Title Dog Dean Afternoon
Episode # Season 9, Episode 5
First aired November 5, 2013
Directed by Tim Andrew
Written by Eric Charmelo
Nicole Snyder
On IMDB Dog Dean Afternoon
Outline When the only witness to a pair of murders is a dog, Dean must perform a spell that allows him to communicate with animals.
Monster Shaman
Location(s) Lebanon, Kansas
Enid, Oklahoma
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A taxidermist is setting up his rodent-style Game of Thrones display. Something grabs his dog’s attention and the taxidermist goes to see what he is barking at. He finds nothing and returns to his work when he is attacked by a man in a cowboy hat with snake tongue, who breaks the taxidermist in half.

Dean and Sam are in the bunker and pull up the article on the crushed taxidermist, calling him a “human pretzel.” Sam convinces Dean they should go check it out even though Dean wants his brother to stay at the bunker and relax so he can heal more quickly.

The Winchesters arrive at the taxidermist’s office and see “DIE SCUM” written on the side of building with a paw print symbol cut into the spray paint. Dean talks to the guy that discovered the body while Sam checks out the rest of the scene. They discover the only thing missing was the entrails of the dead animals from the weekend, and they find no signs of witchcraft or other evil spirits.

Sam does what he does best and researches the symbol they found at the scene. It leads them to an animal rights group called S.N.A.R.T. (Showing No Animal Rough Treatment). The founders of the group own a vegan bakery, so they go there to talk to the proprietors of the shop.

The two are animal advocates who spray-painted the death threat on the taxidermy building. They heard a hissing noise when tagging the place and were attacked by someone with mace. Sam researched the effects that attack had on their eyes which was actually caused by venom not by mace. Dean says they should call Kevin to look up what kind of monster they could be dealing with.

At the Enid animal shelter, a man in a cowboy hat slips money to the receptionist, walks into the backroom and takes all the cats. The final one he eats, which causes him to grow claws. The receptionist catches him in the act and is murdered by the man in the hat.

The Winchesters arrive at the animal shelter scene and see the dog from the taxidermy scene. Dean uses silver to check and make sure the dog is not a skinwalker. Sam calls Kevin to find a spell to speak to the dog to see what he witnessed at both crime scenes. Sam concocts a potion to make it so they can read the dog's (named The Colonel) thoughts. Dean drinks the concoction and says the spell but nothing happens. Though later on, while they’re eating, he suddenly hears the dog say “change the station” and they argue about classic rock. The dog tells Dean that a guy in a cowboy hat killed his owner and the cats. Because of the potion, Dean starts to act like a dog; trying to play fetch and barking at a mailman.

They find out the spell can cause Dean to exhibit some animal behavior from mind-melding with the dog. Kevin doesn’t know how long the effects will last but Dean finds out he can hear all animals after a pigeon craps on his car and he argues with it. They drive back to the animal shelter and Sam tells Dean they should just leave the dog in the car since all the windows are open but Dean refuses and takes the dog in the building with him. On the way into the building, Dean checks out a poodle.

Dean interrogates all the animals about the man in the cowboy hat. One dog says he saw everything that happened but wants a belly rub in return from Sam. He tells them the sack the man had had something written on it. It said “Avant-Garde Cuisine.” Before he leaves, Dean frees all the dogs.

Sam and Dean break into the restaurant and check one of the offices where they find a lot of pills in one of the desks. Dean then hears little kids' voices in the office coming from the rat cage who tell him to look in the fridge. Inside, Dean finds animal organs and Sam finds a spellbook that says if you eat an animal organ, you can take on qualities of that animal for a period of time.

The boys pretend to be health inspectors and tell the workers there to leave, and they go in search of the head chef. The chef ate a chameleon to blend into the wall and ambushes Sam and scratches him. Ezekiel takes over his body momentarily to heal his scratched neck. He then gives Sam back control of his body but the chef knocks him out saying “You’re my main course,” intrigued by how quickly he healed himself.

Dean finds Chef Leo in the kitchen and tries to shoot him, but he ducks it "Matrix style" and the two fight. The chef ties Dean to a pole and goes back to preparing to eat Sam. Dean figures out that the chef has cancer, which the chef admits too. He used the organs to keep his cancer at bay. Dean keeps the chef talking while he continues to try to cut the ties. Meanwhile, the chef says a spell and eats a wolf heart so he can kill Dean. Dean breaks free of his chains and leads him out to the parking lot where a whole pack of dogs are waiting to attack the chef.

The dogs kill the chef and Dean goes back to the kitchen to rouse Sam. Dean takes The Colonel to the vegan bakers to let them adopt the dog. Because Dean is an “honorary dog” the Colonel wants to tell Dean that dogs are not actually a man's best friend, and are actually with the humans for some mysterious reason but, before The Colonel can say it, the spell wears off.

Sam wants to know why the chef asked what Sam was when he attacked him in the kitchen, but Dean just suggests the chef was crazy from eating all the animal organs. Sam seems suspicious, but doesn't push the issue.




  • "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner
(plays while Dean has his first conversation with the Colonel)


Dean: Always knew we'd find the source of all evil in a vegan bakery.

Sam: What's that smell?

Dean: Patchouli. And depression. From meat deprivation.
Dean: Hey. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags.
Dylan Camrose: His business is fronted by hunters, and you know how hunters are. They're selfish dicks who define themselves by what they kill.
Dean: Okay, so... What are we talking here, some sort of a freaky-ass snake monster?

Sam: Maybe. The weird thing is snakes either envenomate or constrict. No snake does both.

Dean: Correction – freaky-ass mega-snake monster.
Dean: Right, so, yesterday, uh, we're dealing with some sort of a snake monster. Today, it's a killer kitty.
The Colonel: You call this classic rock? Heh, next thing you know, they'll be playing Styx. And Dennis DeYoung, a punk.

Dean: Dennis DeYoung is not a punk. He's Mr. Roboto, bitch!

Sam: Why are you arguing with the dog about Styx?
The Colonel: Where're we headed?

Dean: Back to the shelter.
The Colonel: To sniff out more clues? Maybe dig up something we missed?
Dean: All right, one more doggy pun and I'm gonna have your nuts clipped.

The Colonel: I hate to break it to you, hoss, but my sack's emptier than Santa's after Christmas.
[A pigeon takes a crap on the Impala]

Dean: Oh, are you kidding me? Dick move, pigeon!
Pigeon: Screw you asshat!
Dean: Wait a minute. Can I hear all animals?
The Colonel: Yup. Animals have a universal language -- like Esperanto. But this one actually caught on.
Pigeon: And I'm just gettin' started, too. Brewin' a real big one. Ha. Bet your ride's gonna look sweet in white.
Sam: What's he saying?
Dean: You -- he's being a douchebag!
Pigeon: Who you callin' 'douchebag,' douchebag?
Dean: Oh, shut it, you winged rat!
Sam: Dude.
Dean: What?
Sam: Hey. Just calm down. Just get in the car.
Pigeon: Ha ha. That's right, Sally. Go cry to mama!
[Dean pulls out his gun]

Dean: Oh, that's it, you son of bitch!
Yorkie: Hey, pretty boy. Over here.

Dean: Yeah, uh, sorry, pal. I'm done for the day.
Yorkie: But I saw everything! And I'll tell you, but it'll cost you.
Dean: What? Are you kidding me? I'm being extorted by a dog. Well, what do you want, huh? What? Beggin' Strips? Snausages?
Yorkie: Bitch, please. If I'm gonna rat someone out, it's got to be worth my while. I want... a belly rub.
Dean: You – All right.

Yorkie: Not from you, sweetie. From that big one. Over there. Hi!
Dean: Well, bad news is I'm gonna miss the flea bag. Good news is it looks like the spell is finally wearing off. You okay? The Stetson man got you pretty good.

Sam: Yeah, I'm fine. I-I just, uh... I can't stop thinking about what he said.
Dean: Oh, come on, Sammy. Guy was out of his freaking gourd.
Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, why – why would he ask that? Why – why did he want to know what I was?
Dean: Who the hell knows? He was all jacked up on juice, you know? He was possessed by – by something he couldn't control. It was... It was a – a matter of time before it completely took over. You can't reason with crazy, right?
Sam: I don't know.

Dean: Well, I do. Trust me, Sam. You got nothing to worry about.

Trivia & References

The episode title "Dog Dean Afternoon" is a play on the name of the 1975 film Dog Day Afternoon.
The taxidermist, Max Alexander, was dressing rodents as characters from Game of Thrones.
Dean: Just forced buffalo milk down his gob. Twice.

Sam: Buffalo milk?
Dean: Yeah, the hangover cure-all. It's got everything in it... except buffalo milk.

Dean is referring to the 'hair-of-the-dog' style hangover cure known as buffalo milk which is a mixture of cocoa cream, vodka, spiced rum, clotted cream, cream liqueur, dark rum, and whole cream.
Dean: What can I say? He's an amateur. The slippery nipple shots at the Dolly Parton Dixie Stampede nearly killed the guy.
Slippery nipple is a cocktail shooter, typically made with Bailey's Irish Cream and Sambuca.
Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede is a dinner theater restaurant, with a location in Branson, Missouri.
Dean: Aren't you kinda running on empty?

Sam: Yeah, but the last three nights straight, I had eight hours of shut-eye. For a hunter, that's like 20. Trust me, Dean. I feel good.
Dean: Well, that's great and all, James Brown, but you're still recovering from the trials. I think you ought to pace yourself, you know? And the sooner you heal...

"Running on Empty" is the title track to Jackson Browne's 1977 album of the same name. But it could, of course, simply be an idiom here.
"I Got You (I Feel Good)" was a 1965 single by James Brown, as well as his highest charting song.
Sam: You tell me what's got that kind of strength.

Dean: A demonic luchador?

A luchador is a professional Mexican wrestler.
Sam: I read this book once about this guy who tried to teach his dog to speak after it witnessed a murder.
Possible reference to Carolyn Parkhurst's 2003 book, "The Dogs of Babel."
Sam and Dean introduce themselves as "Agents Michaels and DeVille," a reference to Brett Michaels and C.C. DeVille — the singer and lead guitarist, respectively, of the '80s glam metal band Poison.
Dean: Ruh-roh!
Ruh-roh is the signature phrase of Astro and Scooby-Doo, two famous talking cartoon dogs.
The Colonel warning Dean not to eat chocolate in his dog-like state is a reference to the fact that chocolate is toxic to dogs.
The Colonel: Animals have a universal language – like Esperanto. But this one actually caught on.
Esperanto is a constructed language, intended to be a universal second language for international communication.
Dog in Kennel: I need a Raquel Welch poster and a rock hammer.
This is a reference to the 1994 film The Shawshank Redemption, in which the lead character has a poster of Raquel Welch on his cell wall and escapes by tunneling into the wall behind the poster with a rock hammer.
Dog in Kennel: I'm shaking the fence, boss. Still shaking the fence!
This is a reference to "Shaking the bush, boss" from the 1967 film Cool Hand Luke. The main character Luke Jackson must shake a bush for the guards when he is relieving himself while out on work detail.
Sam: Wow. Oxycodone, tramadol, methadone...

Dean. Guess he likes to cook comfortably numb.

"Comfortably Numb" is a Pink Floyd song from their 1979 album "The Wall". It was released as a single a year later and is one of the band's most famous songs.
Sam: It says here whatever animal organ you ingest with the right mix of hoodoo and spices, you temporarily gain the power of that animal. So, okay, if you're munching on owl brains...

Dean: Your head spins around like The Exorcist?

A Reference to this famous scene from the 1973 movie The Exorcist.
Chef Leo: Oh, screw the sharktopus. You're my main course.
Sharktopus is a 2010 Syfy Channel Original Movie about a genetically engineered half-shark, half-octopus.
Dean: What happened? Draw the short-straw, decided to break bad?
To "break bad" is to do things on the edge of the law. The term became popular and is now synonymous with the TV show Breaking Bad about a cancer-stricken high school teacher who builds a drug empire.


Forbes Angus who played the Colonel's owner, Max Alexander, previously portrayed Foster in 3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock.
The Colonel was played by a 2-year-old German Shepherd named Slater.
Al Rodrigo provided the voice of the Colonel.
The taxidermy business run by Max Alexander is called Mounted Treasures. In the shop, there is a mounted bald eagle. This is actually illegal to do in all 50 states.
Sam and Dean stay at Diamond Tim's Motel, which may be a shout-out to director Tim Andrew.
Jessica Harmon who played Olivia Camrose, previously portrayed Lily in 2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One.
The silver coin Dean used to check if The Colonel was a shapeshifter or not was a genuine 1921 peace dollar.source
According to writer Eric Charmelo, the gay Yorkie was originally meant to be played by a Papillon, but the Yorkie won out at the audition.
Leslie Jordan provided the voice of the Yorkie.
Both writer Eric Charmelo and Jared live tweeted during the broadcast: Storified tweets here.

Sides, Scripts & Transcripts


Episode Meta