5.21 Two Minutes to Midnight (Transcript)

From Super-wiki
Jump to: navigation, search


5.21 Two Minutes to Midnight

Written by: Sera Gamble

Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

Air Date: May 6, 2010



CELESTE Dr. Green, how was your trip?

DR. GREEN Oh, very productive. And how are we tonight, Celeste, my favorite patient? The nurse says you can't sleep.

CELESTE Oh, I just feel worse and worse.

DR. GREEN Well, that's because you're suffering from a combination of the common cold...Dengue fever...and a nasty, nasty case of Japanese encephalitis.

CELESTE What are you...I'm sorry. I --

DR. GREEN Oh, you heard me. Oh, and look at that. You never had chicken pox as a child. Oh, this is gonna be fascinating.

CELESTE But I --h-how could I...have all those diseases at once?

DR. GREEN Well, it's a proprietary blend. I mix it up in a petri dish --The petri dish being...You. Try and relax. It'll be all right.

CELESTE Are you...Gonna c-cure me?

DR. GREEN No. You're going to die. In four, three...two...

( Celeste vomits green goop onto Dr. Green and dies)

DR. GREEN Interesting.



DEAN What the hell is wrong with you?

SAM Dean --

DEAN ...no, don't "Dean" me. I mean, you -- you have had some stupid ideas in the past, But this --(to Bobby) d-did you know about this?


DEAN About Sam's genius plan to cram the devil down his throat.

(Bobby nods)

DEAN Well, thanks for the heads up!

BOBBY Hey, this ain't about me.

DEAN You can't do this.

SAM That's the consensus.

DEAN All right. Awesome. Then, end of discussion. (Dean's phone rings) This isn't over. Hello?



SAM Is he okay?

DEAN We all thought you were Dead. Where the hell are you, man?

(cut to Castiel in a hospital bed)

CASTIEL A hospital.

DEAN Are you okay?


DEAN You want to elaborate?

CASTIEL I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead.

DEAN S-so, a hospital?

CASTIEL Apparently, after Van Nuys, I suddenly appeared, bloody and unconscious, on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I'm told it upset the sailors.

DEAN Uh, well, I got to tell you, man -- You're just in time. We figured out a way to pop Satan's box.


DEAN It's a long story, but, look --we're going after Pestilence now. So if you want to zap over here...

CASTIEL I can't "zap" anywhere.

DEAN What do you mean?

CASTIEL You could say my batteries are -- are drained.

DEAN What do you mean? You're out of angel mojo?

CASTIEL I'm saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I'm saying that I'm just incredibly...

DEAN Human. Wow. Sorry.

CASTIEL Well, my point is -- I can't go anywhere without money for...an airplane ride. And food. And more pain medication, ideally.

DEAN All right. Well, look, no worries. Uh, Bobby's here. He'll wire you the cash.

CASTIEL Dean, wait.

BOBBY I will?

CASTIEL You said "no" to Michael. I owe you an apology.

DEAN Cas...I-it's okay.

CASTIEL You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

DEAN Thank you. I appreciate that.

CASTIEL You're welcome.


(Sam & Dean get into the Impala)

BOBBY Be careful.

(Sam & Dean leave in the Impala)


(Sam & Dean watch the home from the Impala)

DEAN So this is Dr. Evil's lair, huh?

SAM It's kind of more depressing than evil.

DEAN It's like a four-color brochure for dying young. Of course, to Pestilence, it's probably Dollywood in there.

SAM Great. A whole building full of people. We don't know who's human, who's demon, and who's pestilence. So what do we do?

DEAN Hang on.


DEAN Hey. Hi. Uh, I'm looking for my Nana. Uh, her name is Eunice Kennedy.

SECURITY GUARD Go around front and see the nurse.

DEAN You mind just helping me out, sir? Uh, she's about, uh, about that small and gray hair, wears diapers.

(Dean knocks out security guard)

SAM Eunice Kennedy?

DEAN That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.

SAM So, what are --(Sam sees Dean drifting off to sleep and taps his arm) Hey. What are we even looking for?

DEAN Well, he's Pestilence, so he probably looks sick.

SAM Everybody looks sick. (pointing at distortion on the monitor) Hey.

DEAN Oh, now we're talking.


CELESTE Dr. Green, how was your trip?

DR. GREEN Oh, very productive. And how are we tonight, Celeste, my favorite patient?

DEMON NURSE Sir...The Winchesters are here. We should go.

DR. GREEN Are you kidding me?

DEMON NURSE They have a track record with horsemen.

DR. GREEN You mean my brothers. What they did to my brothers. No. The only reasonable thing to do here is to...take it out of their healthy young asses.

DEMON NURSE We're under strict orders not to kill the vessels.

DR. GREEN Oh, if Satan wants them so bad, (yelling) he can glue them back together! (beckoning nurse closer) Come. Come. Now then.

DOCTOR Page me if she's dying.

(Doctor vomits and falls to the floor, the nurse next to him breaks out in spots and starts gasping) (Sam and Dean round the corner and find the bodies of the doctor and nurse. Sam coughs up blood)

SAM Ugh...Must be getting close.

DEAN You think?

(Dean starts to sink to the floor)

SAM Dean?(Sam tries to help Dean , but stumbles and Dean falls to the floor) Get up.

DEMON NURSE The doctor will see you now.

DR. GREEN / PESTILENCE Sam. Dean. (Sam holds his knife up, but then keels over and falls to the floor) Come right in.



PESTILENCE Hmm. You boys don't look well. It might be the, uh, Scarlet fever. Or, uh, the meningitis. Oh! Or the syphilis. That's no fun. However you feel right now? It's gonna get so very, very much worse. Questions? Disease gets a bad rap, don't you think? For being filthy. Chaotic. Uh, but, really, t-that just describes people who get sick. Disease itself... Very...Pure...Single-minded. Bacteria have one purpose --divide and conquer. (Pestilence steps on Dean's hand) That's why, in the end...It always wins. So, you've got to wonder why God pours all his love into something so messy...And weak.It's ridiculous. All I can do is show him he's wrong, one epidemic at a time. Now... On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your pain?

(Door opens, Castiel enters)


PESTILENCE How'd you get here?

CASTIEL I took a bus. Don't worry, I --(Castiel falls to the floor, coughing)

PESTILENCE Well, look at that. An occupied vessel, but powerless. Oh, that's fascinating. There's not a speck of angel in you, is there?

(Castiel grabs Sam's knife and cuts off Pestilence's ring finger and pinky finger)


CASTIEL Maybe just a speck.

PESTILENCE It doesn't matter. It's too late.


BOBBY Well, it's nice to actually score a home run for once, ain't it? What?

SAM Last thing Pestilence said. "it's too late."

BOBBY He get specific?


DEAN We're just a little freaked out that he might have left a bomb somewhere. So please tell us you have actual good news.

BOBBY Chicago's about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die.


CASTIEL I don't understand your definition of good news.

BOBBY Well...Death, the horseman -- he's gonna be there. And if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm, get his ring back --

DEAN Yeah, you make it sound so easy.

BOBBY Hell, I'm just trying to put a spin on it.

SAM Well...Bobby, h-how'd you put all this together, anyways?

BOBBY I had, you know...Help.

CROWLEY Don't be so modest. I barely helped at all. Hello, boys. Pleasure, et cetera. Go ahead. Tell them. There's no shame in it.

SAM Bobby? Tell us what?

BOBBY World's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little...Soul.

DEAN You sold your soul?

CROWLEY Oh, more like pawned it. I fully intend to give it back.

DEAN Well, then give it back!



SAM Did you kiss him?


SAM Just wondering.

BOBBY No! (Crowley holds out his phone which has a picture of him and Bobby kissing on it) Why'd you take a picture?

CROWLEY Why do you have to use tongue?

DEAN All right. You know what? I'm sick of this. Give him his soul back now.

CROWLEY I'm sorry. I can't.

DEAN Can't or won't?

CROWLEY I won't, all right? It's insurance.

DEAN What are you talking about?

CROWLEY You kill demons. Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it. But you won't kill me... As long as I have that soul in the deposit box.

BOBBY You son of a bitch.

CROWLEY I'll return it. After all this is over, and I can walk safely away. Do we all understand each other?


DEAN Let me guess. We're about to have a talk.

SAM Look, Dean, um...For the record...I agree with you. About me. You think I'm too weak to take on Lucifer. Well, so do I. Believe me, I know exactly how screwed up I am. You, Bobby, Cas...I'm the least of any of you.

DEAN Oh, Sam...

SAM No, it's true. It is. But...I'm also all we got. If there was another way...But I don't think there is. There's just me. So I don't know what else to do. Except just try t-to do what's got to be done.

CROWLEY And...Scene. There's something you need to see. (hands newspaper to Sam)

SAM (reads from newspaper) Niveus pharmaceuticals is rushing delivery of its new swine-flu vaccine to "stem the tide of the unprecedented outbreak." Uh, shipments leave Wednesday.

CROWLEY Niveus pharmaceuticals. Get it? You two are lucky you have your looks. Your demon lover, Brady? V.P. of distribution, Niveus. Ah, yes, that the sound of the abacus clacking? We all caught up?

DEAN So, pestilence

SAM ...was spreading swine flu.

DEAN Yeah, but not just for giggles. That was step one. Step two is the vaccine. And you think --

CROWLEY I know. I'll stake my reputation -- That vaccine is chock-full of grade-a, farm-fresh croatoan virus.

SAM Simultaneous, countrywide distribution. It's quite a plan.

CROWLEY They don't get to be horsemen for nothing. So, you boys better stock up on...Well, everything. This time next Thursday, we'll all be living in zombieland.


('Oh Death'by Jenifer Titus plays as Death is shown exiting his car and walking down the sidewalk. A man walking towards Death is texting and not looking up- he bumps into Death)

MAN Watch where you're walking, pal.

( Death brushes off his shoulder and behind him, the man falls to the ground and dies)


BOBBY What's your problem?

CASTIEL This is what they mean by "the 11th hour," right?

BOBBY Pretty much.

CASTIEL Well, it's the 11th hour, and I am useless. All I have is this. ( Castiel waves a shotgun What am I even supposed to do with it?

BOBBY Point it and shoot.

CASTIEL What I used to be --

BOBBY Are you really gonna bitch --to me? Quit pining for the varsity years...And load the damn truck.

DEAN All right, well...Good luck stopping the whole zombie apocalypse.

SAM Yeah. Good luck killing Death.

DEAN Yeah.

SAM Remember when we used to just...hunt wendigos? How simple things were?

DEAN Not really.

SAM Well, um...(Sam pulls out Ruby's knife)...You might need this.

CROWLEY Keep it. (Crowley hands Dean a small scythe) Dean's covered. Death's own. Kills, golly, demons and angels and reapers and, rumor has it, the very thing itself.

CASTIEL How did you get that?

CROWLEY Hello --king of the crossroads. So, shall we? Bobby, you just gonna sit there?

BOBBY No, I'm gonna riverdance.

CROWLEY I suppose if you want to impress the ladies. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Really wasted that crossroads deal. Fact -- you get more if you phrase it properly. So, I took the liberty of adding a teeny little sub-a clause on your behalf. What can I say? I'm an altruist. Just gonna sit there?

(Bobby gets out of his wheelchair)

BOBBY Son of a bitch.

CROWLEY Yes, I know. Completely worth your soul. I'm a hell of a guy.

BOBBY Thanks.

CROWLEY This is getting maudlin. Can we go?


CASTIEL "Yes" to Lucifer. Then jump in the hole. It's an interesting plan.

BOBBY That's a word for it.

SAM So? Go ahead and tell me it's the worst plan you ever heard.

CASTIEL Of course. I am happy to say that if that's what you want to hear. But it's not what I think.

SAM Really?

CASTIEL You and Dean have a habit of exceeding my expectations. He resisted Michael. Maybe you could resist Lucifer but there are things that you would need to know.

SAM Like?

CASTIEL Michael has found another vessel.

SAM What?

CASTIEL It's your brother Adam. You must have considered it.

SAM We were trying not to.

CASTIEL Sam....If you say yes to Lucifer and then fail...This fight will happen. And the collateral... It'll be immense. There's also the demon blood.

SAM What? What are you talking about?

CASTIEL To take in Lucifer, it would be more than you've ever drunk.

SAM But...Why?

CASTIEL It strengthens the vessel. Keeps it from exploding.

SAM But the guy he's in now --

CASTIEL He's drinking gallons.

BOBBY And how is that not the worst plan you ever heard?



BOBBY Yup, they're loading up hotshots of Croatoan in the trucks. Okay. First truck don't leave for an hour. We get in, we plant the c-4 every 25 feet, then we pull the fire alarm.

CASTIEL That truck is leaving.

BOBBY Balls! Okay, new plan.


DEMON 1 It's the Winchesters.

DEMON 2 Well, then, let's bake them up a little treat.


BOBBY Side door!

WAREHOUSE EMPLOYEE Help me, please! Help!

SAM Get back! (Sam shoots through the door lock, the door opens)

BOBBY Go. Come on. Go.

(Sam and Bobby see a whole pack of Croatoan infected people attacking someone, they take aim)


(Sam and Bobby shoot down the Croatoan infected)

WAREHOUSE EMPLOYEE Help me! Please! Help!

SAM There's still people here. (Sam starts to move further into the warehouse)

BOBBY Sam, no!

SAM Wait here. (Sam hands Bobby his knife)



CROWLEY Hey, let's stop for pizza.

DEAN Are you kidding?

CROWLEY Just heard it was good. That's all. Up ahead. Big, ugly building. Ground zero. Horseman's stable, if you will. He's in there.

DEAN How do you know?

CROWLEY Have you met me? 'cause I know. Also, the block is squirming with reapers. I'll be right back. (Crowley disappears and reappears again) Boy, is my face red. Death's not in there.

DEAN You want to cut the cute and get to the part where you tell me where he is?

CROWLEY Sorry. I don't know.

DEAN Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You don't know?

CROWLEY Signs pointed. I-I'm just as shocked as you.

DEAN Bobby sold his soul for this!

CROWLEY Relax. All deals are soul back or store credit. We'll catch Death in the next doomed city.

DEAN Millions, Crowley. Millions of people are about to die any minute.

CROWLEY True. So I strongly suggest we get out of here.


(Sam kills a Croatoan infected attacking a warehouse employee)

SAM You okay?

(Sam takes the employee to Bobby who is holding off other Croatoan infected)



DEAN So, what? Call in a bomb threat? 1,000 bomb threats? I mean, how the hell am I supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next 10 minutes?

(Crowley has disappeared)

DEAN Come on! (Crowley speaks to Dean from across the street in front of a pizzeria) What? I can't hear you!

CROWLEY I said I found him. Death --he's in there.

DEAN You coming or...(Crowley has disappeared)...Not.



SAM All clear.

BOBBY Sam! (Sam is attacked by a Croatoan infected, Castiel shoots him with his shotgun)

CASTIEL Actually, these things can be useful.

BOBBY Can we commit our act of domestic terrorism already? Let's go.


(as Dean approaches Death, the scythe heats up, Dean drops it and it reappears on the table Death is sitting at)

DEATH Thanks for returning that. Join me, Dean. The pizza's delicious. Sit down. Took you long enough to find me. I've been wanting to talk to you.

DEAN I got to say --I have mixed feelings about that. S-so is this the part where...where you kill me?

DEATH You have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a thing like you, well...Think how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky. This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you. (Death gestures to the pizza) Eat. (Dean takes a bite of the pizza) Good, isn't it?

DEAN Well, I got to ask. How old are you?

DEATH As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless -- at the end, I'll reap him, too.

DEAN God? You'll reap God?

DEATH Oh, yes. God will die, too, Dean.

DEAN Well, this is way above my pay grade.

DEATH Just a bit.

DEAN So, then why am I still breathing, sitting here with you? Uh...w-what do you want?

DEATH The leash around my neck --off. Lucifer has me bound to him. Some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you. I had to wait for you to catch up. He made me his weapon. Hurricanes, floods, raising the dead. I'm more powerful than you can process, and I'm enslaved to a bratty child with a temper tantrum.

DEAN And you think...I can unbind you?

DEATH There's your ridiculous bravado again. Of course you can't. But you can help me take the bullets out of Lucifer's gun. I understand you want this. ( Death holds up his ring)

DEAN Yeah.

DEATH I'm inclined to give it to you.

DEAN To give it to me?

DEATH That's what I said.

DEAN But what about...

DEATH Chicago? I suppose it can stay. I like the pizza. There are conditions.

DEAN Okay. Like?

DEATH You have to do whatever it takes to put Lucifer in his cell.

DEAN Of course.

DEATH Whatever it takes.

DEAN That's the plan.

DEATH No. No plan. Not yet. Your brother. He's the one that can stop Lucifer. The only one.

DEAN What, you think --

DEATH I know. So, I need a promise. You're going to let your brother jump right into that fiery pit. Well, do I have your word?

DEAN Okay, yeah. Yes.

DEATH That had better be "yes," Dean. You know you can't cheat death. Now, would you like the instruction manual?



DEAN Well, how'd it go at the Rockettes audition?

BOBBY Well, high kicks -- fair. Boobs need work. I walked up and down stairs all night for no damn reason. I'm sore. Feels so good, I'm scared it's a dream. But then I remember that the world's dying bloody, so, drink? (Bobby hands Dean a beer)

DEAN Check it out. ( Dean shows Bobby how the rings link together)

BOBBY Hmm. Oh. So death told you how to operate those? The whole deal?

DEAN Yeah. It's nuts. Of course, I got bigger problems now.

BOBBY Really? Like?

DEAN What do you think Death does to people who lie to his face?

BOBBY Nothing good.

DEAN Yeah.

BOBBY What'd you say?

DEAN That I was cool with Sam driving the bus on the whole Lucifer plan.

BOBBY So Death thinks Sam ought to say yes, huh?

DEAN I don't know. Yeah.


DEAN But, I mean, of course he'd say that. He works for Lucifer.

BOBBY Against his will, I thought he said.

DEAN Well, I'd say, take his sob story with a fat grain of salt. I mean, he is Death.

BOBBY Exactly. He's Death. Think of the kind of bird's-eye view.

DEAN Seriously?

BOBBY I'm just saying --

DEAN well, don't. I mean, what happened to you being against this?

BOBBY Look, I'm not saying Sam ain't an ass-full of character defects. But...

DEAN But what?

BOBBY Back at Niveus? I watched that kid pull one civilian out after another. Must have saved 10 people. Never stopped. Never slowed down. We're hard on him, Dean. We've always been. But in the meantime... He's been running into burning buildings since he was, what, 12?

DEAN Pretty much.

BOBBY Look, Sam's got a...Darkness in him. I'm not saying he don't. But he's got a hell of a lot of good in him, too.

DEAN I know.

BOBBY Then you know Sam will beat the devil...Or die trying. That's the best we could ask for. So I got to ask, Dean. What exactly are you afraid of? Losing? Or losing your brother?