13.07 War of the Worlds (transcript)

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13.07 War of the Worlds

Written by: Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming

Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.

Air Date: November 23, 2017

[From 12.23, Mary punches Lucifer through the portal, and he drags her through with him to the Apocalypse World]
MARY: Aah!
SAM AND DEAN (running to the portal as it flares and closes): Mom? Mom!
[in the Apocalypse World]
LUCIFER: No, no. No! No!


[from 13.02, over clips of Lucifer and Mary in the Apocalypse World, Asmodeus killing most of the demons in the throne room, from 13.01 Jack with glowing golden eyes in the prison cell, Jack throwing Sheriff Barker into the vending machine]
DREXEL: Who'd you say you were?
ASMODEUS: I am Asmodeus.
DREXEL: Fourth Prince of Hell.
ASMODEUS: There's a new Sheriff in town.
DREXEL: No trace of Lucifer.
ASMODEUS: At this point, we must focus on the son.
DREXEL: There's no sign of him either, Sir.
ASMODEUS: With Lucifer gone, I want him found and trained to rule, with me as his humble advisor, of course.

[from 13.02 Explosions in the Apocalypse World as Lucifer and Mary meet Michael]
MICHAEL: You should be dead.
LUCIFER: And who are you?
MICHAEL: Don't you know me, brother?
LUCIFER: Michael?
[they fight as Mary watches on, until Michael gains the upper hand]
LUCIFER: What are you gonna do? Kill me?
MICHAEL: Maybe I need you.

[from 13.06, Jack stands in the doorway between the library and the war room in the bunker]
JACK: Every time I try and do something good, people get hurt.
[clip of Jack using his power, accidentally killing the security guard]

[from 13.01 Jack screaming using his power to throw Sam and Dean in his nursery]
JACK: I don't know what I am. Maybe I'm just another monster. I can't make the world a better place, not like this. And I know that if I stay, I'm gonna hurt you.
SAM: Jack, listen...
JACK: I have to go.
CASTIEL: No, Jack.
[Jack blasts TFW back with his power]
JACK: I'm so sorry.


[A montage of images, while Lucifer narrates from his cage in the Apocalypse World: The Andromeda Galaxy, the Orion Nebula, The Horsehead Nebula, mountain peaks, The Grand Canyon, “The Devil’s Throat” at Iguazu Falls, the sky with a golden glow at the horizon, yellow flowers blooming in melting snow, a rainbow]
LUCIFER: I got plenty of gripes with the old man. His self-righteous narcissism, his “my way or the highway” quirk. I gotta hand it to him. He had a couple of great seconds when he banged out the universe.
Guy had creative chops. And optimism. I'll give him that. And despite his pissiness and his massive lack of irony, he did give mankind a good turn at bat and a chance to live in paradise.
[we return to Lucifer trapped in a person-sized cage, Michael’s hand on his head]
He ruled. He smote. He parted waters. Worshipped by creatures who made God in man's image. And then, he got disappointed. Or worse, bored. Picked up all his toys and... left.
[Michael removes his hand and Lucifer seems confused]
LUCIFER: What was that?
MICHAEL: Hitched a ride on your temporal lobe. Saw your world. That paradise you left behind? Believe I'll take up residence, lend my guiding hand.
LUCIFER: Ah, of course. 'Cause you've done such wonders with this place.
MICHAEL: While I was in your head, I saw what you're afraid of– being locked up again, like you were in the Cage. So after I'm done, you'll be left here, alone, in agony, forever.
LUCIFER: Okay, bro, could you do me a favor?
LUCIFER: Eat me.
[Michael grabs the bars of Lucifer’s hanging cage, we see it’s lined with spikes, and he jerks the cage, impaling Lucifer on the spikes. Michael watches, and then leaves the room]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming continues ]


[Dean enters the library, bringing coffee to Sam, who’s working on his laptop]
DEAN: Anything?
SAM: Oh. Thanks. Not yet. I put out an APB to every single Hunter we know. But... Jack's off the grid.
DEAN: Kid was pretty spun out. We'll find him. I mean, there's gotta be a sign at some point, right?
SAM: Yeah.
DEAN: Kid can cause a tsunami with a hiccup.
SAM: I don't know. Maybe he's covering his tracks.
[Cas enters the room from the opposite side Dean did]
CASTIEL: Or this apparent dearth of evidence is, in fact, the evidence.
SAM: The evidence of...
CASTIEL: Of some horrific misadventure that's befallen him, like being dragged down to Hell by Asmodeus. Or... [Sighs] I don't know, possibly worse, being hijacked to Heaven by angels.
DEAN: Yeah, but isn't he too fast and furious for angels?
CASTIEL: Maybe. Maybe not. That's what I'm gonna find out.
SAM: Find out from who? From – from the angels?
[Dean stands up]
DEAN: All right. Well, let's go.
CASTIEL: Dean, you can't accompany me. My contact is already anxious about meeting and won't speak in the presence of a stranger.
DEAN: So introduce me. Then I'm not a stranger. I'll bring a six-pack.
CASTIEL: Dean, I swore I would protect this boy. Let me do this.
[Cas walks toward the war room]
DEAN: Don't do anything stupid.
[Dean reluctantly sits back down with Sam as we hear Cas climb the stairs and leave through the front door]
SAM: All right.
DEAN: I guess we're stuck in idle.
SAM: So... [Scoffs] What do we do? Just – just sit around here and wait?
DEAN: Well, we could work a case. We got three murders here a couple hundred miles apart, same M.O. They were all horribly tortured before having their throat slit. Look at the body. Next to it.
[Dean turns the laptop around and shows the crime scene photo to Sam, who zooms in on an arrangement that looks like ingredients for a spell]
SAM: She's a witch.
DEAN: Mm-hmm.
SAM: Were they all witches?
DEAN: Looking like. These aren't Hunter kills. They're– they're more ritualistic, like a sacrament or something. Plus, all their places were ransacked, which means somebody was looking for something.

[cut to Asmodeus’s clasped hands as he sits on the throne in Crowley’s old throne room, meditatively chanting with his eyes closed until he’s interrupted by a demon]
ASMODEUS: Jack... Jack... Jack...
DEMON: Lord Asmodeus.
ASMODEUS: Does no one think of knockin'?
DEMON: I have news of The Jack.
ASMODEUS: What is it?
DEMON: There is no news of The Jack. We've exhausted all our resources.
ASMODEUS: How is this possible? This is an entity of immense power, and yet, I detect nothing. The Winchesters are doing a masterful job of cloaking him.
DEMON: I doubt that, since they don't have The Jack anymore, either.
ASMODEUS: Say what?
DEMON: We have a Hunter on the payroll who says the Winchesters themselves are in a panic to find him.
ASMODEUS: Well, if they're not protecting the nephilim, then who is?

[Cut to lightning and thunder in the Apocalypse World, as Lucifer is manhandled to stand before Michael]
LUCIFER: Hey, hey, hey. I got an idea. Why don't you wail on Mary Winchester for a while? I'll go get a latte, okay? Or not.
MICHAEL: Look at you. You claim to be a god in your world. Here, you're pathetic.
LUCIFER (laughing): Hey, you try interdimensional travel sometime, pal. Definitely no frills. And just to be clear, I never claimed to be God. Or a god, okay? Where I come from, God is a paradox. He's everywhere, in your mind. In reality, he's nowhere. He left. I, on the other hand, am the real deal. I am everything humanity thinks I am and worse. That's who you're dealing with, pal. But, hey, congratulations to you for being king of the hill of this dead rock.
MICHAEL: Unlike you, I'll be trading up.
LUCIFER: Oh, you mean to the Earth? Sort of need that pesky little rift to pull that trade off, right? And it's...oh. Missing.
MICHAEL: For now. I consider myself a man with a plan. Alternate universes? Not news. We've been exploring the idea.
MICHAEL: Bring him in. The greatest minds on this “dead rock,” including...
[A demon goes to the door, and opens it for someone to enter]
Our Prophet of the Lord.
LUCIFER: Kevin? Kevin Tran?
KEVIN: Have we met?
LUCIFER: Uh, we had one of you in our world. The other you is dead.
KEVIN: Don't care.
MICHAEL: What do you have for me?
KEVIN: I... I've assembled all the elements annotated in the angel tablet. Of course, I haven't done this before– no one here has– and any predictions are only predictive, not declarative probabilities being what they are or could be. Maybe. Or not. But a fly in the ointment exists.
KEVIN (holding up a glass and silver angel grace vial): The key ingredient– archangel grace, which you have refused to donate.
MICHAEL: Don't screw with me, worm.
KEVIN: I'm a vertebrate, neither an annelid nor a nematode.
[Michael takes the vial from Kevin beneath another glowing cross window and turns to Lucifer]
MICHAEL: I don't need to waste my grace. And there's plenty in the cupboard.
LUCIFER: Oh, touch me, and I'll –
[One of the angels restraining him punches Lucifer in the face]
MICHAEL: Don't worry. I won't take it all. Save some for a rainy day. Say “ah.”
[Michael slits Lucifer’s throat with an angel blade, and extracts a bit of his grace into the vial, then healing the wound]

[exterior, Clinton Police Department, where Dean’s leaving the building while on the phone. The seal on the wall depicts a bear inside a golden ring that reads, “United we stand, divided we fall” as a siren blares]
DEAN (on the phone): Yeah, Jody. No, I mean, we don't know what's going on. We just know that they're all witches. Yeah.
[Dean walks to Sam, busy on his ipad as he leans against the Impala’s trunk and a police radio chatters in the background]
DEAN: All right. Will do. Thanks.
[He hangs up with Jody and Sam shows him the ipad]
SAM: All right, check this out. This is the surveillance footage of the last victim before she was kidnapped and killed. She turned down an alley, and that's when she got grabbed.
DEAN: Wait, stop. Stop, stop.
SAM: -Stop?
DEAN: -There. Blow that up.
SAM: No. Is that...
DEAN: Ketch.


[picks up immediately where Act I ended]
DEAN: How is that possible?
SAM: It's not possible. That – that can't be Ketch.
DEAN: Mom shot him clean through the head.
SAM: Exactly. So that can't be Ketch.
DEAN: What? Are you kidding me? You think I forget the face of the guy who tried to kill me? Twice? That's him. And he's 30 feet away from the girl who got tortured and murdered. I say case solved.
SAM: Say it is Ketch, which I still don't understand. Why– why is he–
[Sam is interrupted by a woman wearing a hat and large sunglasses to disguise her identity.]
DANIELA: Sam and Dean Winchester?
SAM: Do we know you?
[a siren blares as she talks]
DANIELA: No, but I know you. In my profession, it pays to know the enemy. My name is Daniela. I'm a witch. And I know you don't like witches, but I also know you help people who are in trouble.

[In the Apocalypse World, Kevin prepares the ingredients for a spell as Lucifer watches on, flanked by grey-clothed guard angels]
KEVIN: It's ready.
LUCIFER: Kevin, what are you doing, getting mixed up with Michael?
KEVIN: I don't have a choice. I'm a prophet, so I serve God, but there's no God to serve, so I serve the ranking deity, which is Michael, because I don't have a choice because I'm a prophet.
LUCIFER: Idiot. Can't you see Michael is a monster? Pure evil?
KEVIN: Okay, I'm confused. Aren't you Satan? Which would make you the evil monster? And besides, Michael's taking me with him to paradise world so I can meet hot women.
LUCIFER: I'm sorry. What?
[The door bangs open and Michael storms in]
MICHAEL: This better work.
KEVIN: Okay, disclaimer? What I'm making is a synthetically generated megaforce, which has not been tested, and I've never done it before. And it should be enough to open the rift, but I can't promise 100%.
MICHAEL: Just do it.
KEVIN: Okay.
LUCIFER: Kevin... don’t do it.
[Kevin does it.]
KEVIN: Mah ray, fay doh, em lah.
Kah day, em lah! Kah day, em lah!
[Kevin chants and pours the bit of Lucifer’s grace into the spell bowl. As he finishes the contents of the bowl shift from glowing white to orange, and a portal rips open behind Lucifer. It pulses once, taking everyone off guard but giving Lucifer an opening to fight back. He knocks aside his guards, and makes a running leap for the portal, which seals shut in a burst of light the moment he crosses through]
MICHAEL: What just happened?!
KEVIN: Clearly, the science wasn't perfect! And wow! The spell's designed to admit one person at a time. Who saw that coming?!
MICHAEL: Fix this.

[Lucifer has landed face-down on a busy sidewalk, a police siren blaring in the background. He slowly stands up and tries to figure out where he is, stopping random pedestrians to ask.]
LUCIFER: Ouch. What is this? Cincinnati? Excuse me, could you tell me where I am? Just a moment of your time, sir, 'cause I-I don't know where...
WOMAN (stepping around Lucifer): Oh, my God. When are they ever gonna get those people off the street?
LUCIFER: Excuse me? “Those people?”
WOMAN (to her friend who is absorbed in her phone and paying no attention anyway): No eye contact, Beverly.
LUCIFER (pushing back in front of the woman): You have no idea who you're talking to, lady.
WOMAN (dismissively handing Lucifer some cash): Here. And don't go spending it on drugs now.
[Lucifer tosses the cash over his shoulder, indignant]
LUCIFER: I'm Lucifer.
[Lucifer snaps his fingers, but nothing happens, to his dismay. He tries a different two-handed gesture, which also does nothing.] LUCIFER: Ha! Huh!
WOMAN: Honey, you're not Lucifer. My ex-husband's Lucifer.
[She pushes past Lucifer with her friend and walks away. Lucifer lets her go, examining his own hands, confused that nothing continues to happen and his power is weak to non-existent for the time being]

[interior, Asmodeus’s throne room, where Asmodeus is torturing and interrogating a man in a yellow shirt bearing a nametag that reads “Karl,” and the logo of the Stampede Motel, where TFW 2.0 stayed in 13.06. Karl’s hands are bound, his face is bloody, and his left eye is swollen shut.]
KARL: Aah! Ow! I don't know anything!
ASMODEUS: Don't know anything about what?
KARL: A-anything at all. I-I'm a motel clerk from a nowhere town where nothing happens to anyone, okay?
ASMODEUS: Well, then how do you explain how Jack, the infamous nephilim, along with the Brothers Winchester, all stayed in your No-Tell Motel?
KARL: What are you talking about?!
ASMODEUS: What miracles did you witness?
KARL: What?
ASMODEUS: Where they going next?
KARL: The people in Room 26, they were FBI agents, okay? They – they paid the bill in cash and they left. I swear to God, I don't know anything. You're just beating a dead horse.
ASMODEUS: Not quite.
[He gestures to another demon, who comes forward with a knife]
KARL: Please. Wait, wait, wait. I...
[She stabs Karl in the chest, grinning maliciously]
ASMODEUS: Clean this up.
[Asmodeus leans heavily against a pillar, sensing something magically. One of his demons comes to his aid]
DEMON: Sir? What is it?
ASMODEUS: I'm sensing something. Not the nephilim. Something else. More like...
[Asmodeus’s eyes glow yellow, and he laughs menacingly]

[exterior, the woods, where Daniela has led Sam and Dean to a secluded cabin. She enters, and they follow.]
DEAN: You live here?
DANIELA: It's a safe house some of us use when we're in hiding. From Hunters, for instance. It's almost impossible to find.
SAM: Yeah, we noticed. All right, so here's the deal. Uh, we trust you about as much as you trust us, but we followed you here. So what's going on?
DANIELA: What's going on is, I survived. He had me, the serial killer you're looking for.
DEAN: Well, no one he's grabbed has lived. So why should we believe you?
DANIELA (reluctantly pulling off her shawl and showing Sam and Dean wounds across the top of her chest and shoulders): This is how he tortures you, slow cuts with a red-hot knife. While he was doing it, I managed to get a hand free enough to touch him and whisper a spell, to disable him just long enough to get away.
SAM: What did he want?
DANIELA: He kept asking the same thing over and over again– “Where is Rowena MacLeod?”
SAM: Rowena?
DEAN: Rowena's dead.
DANIELA: That's what I told him. That's what everybody's been telling him. That's why he'll keep doing this until he hears what he wants.
DEAN: Did he happen to have a British accent?
[Sam pulls out his phone to show Daniela a picture of Ketch from the security footage]
DANIELA: Yeah. Why? Do you –
SAM: Is this him?
DANIELA: Yes. You have to find him. He has to be looking for me. He knows I can identify him.
SAM: Yeah, we want him, too.
DANIELA: You can't tell anyone that you spoke to me. Until he's caught, no one can know where I am.
DEAN: Hmm. Well, about that... I was thinking just the opposite.

[Later that evening, after dark, Daniela sits in the cabin with lamps lit, waiting. A clock chimes. Someone sneaks up to the cabin, and Daniela hears noises outside, but remains seated and tense. There’s a clattering on the roof, and a gas canister drops down the chimney and rolls into the room, sparking and smoking]
DANIELA: Oh! [She gasps and stumbles out of the chair before succumbing to the gas, when a man in a gas mask kicks down the door and fires around the entire cabin with a machine gun. He enters the room slowly, but is struck in the neck by a tranquilizer dart and falls to the ground. Dean is behind him with a gun pointed at him. Sam enters, coughing against the gas, and goes to Daniela’s aid]
SAM: I got ya. I got ya. All right.
[Dean removes the gas mask from Ketch]


[Interior, the study in the bunker. Ketch is tied to a chair, his face bloody and his left eye swollen shut almost identical to how Karl looked in the previous act, as Dean paces around him, interrogating him]
DEAN: One more time. How are you not dead?
KETCH: One more time. Why should I be?
SAM: Because we killed you.
KETCH: Apparently not.
[Dean punches Ketch in the face]
KETCH: Oh! [Coughs]
DEAN: Don't mess with us, okay? You already killed Mick. You tried to kill us. You messed our mom right up. We're already pissed off. So I wouldn't do that.
[Dean squeezes Ketch’s hand hard enough to make crunching noises]
DEAN: Oh, look at that. You got rid of your tattoo. Was that a stick-on? It was a stick-on, wasn't it? Yeah.
KETCH: What? Tattoo? I would never g– Oh. I think I know what's going on here.
SAM: Really?
KETCH: You have me confused with my brother.
DEAN: Your brother?
KETCH: Arthur. I'm Alexander, his twin.
DEAN: Do I look stupid to you?
KETCH: Is that a trick question?
[Dean punches Ketch in the face. Again. It appears satisfying.]
KETCH: Uhh! Oh!
DEAN (straightening his rumpled shirt): Whoo!
SAM: So you're seriously gonna sit there with a straight face and tell us that you have an evil twin?
KETCH: If reducing things to that black and white level helps you, fine. Arthur was the family success story. The... headliner, our Donny Osmond.
DEAN: Mm. All right, Marie. What's your story?
KETCH: Arthur and I attended a feeder school for the British Men of Letters.
SAM: Kendricks. We know all about it. Just get to the point.
KETCH: When it came time to initiate into the organization, I... fled. It wasn't for me. And if they were to find me... I'd be dead.
SAM: It's really funny because, you know, your name never came up.
KETCH: Well, no doubt. Arthur felt I brought shame to the family and to the Men of Letters. He had to work twice as hard to make up for my... public failure. And I had to work thrice as hard to disappear, live in the shadows. Do my work.
SAM: What work?
KETCH: Killing monsters. All over the world, for a fee. A Hunter.
DEAN: A mercenary.
KETCH: A man with my sort of training has limited options.
DEAN: The witches– who's bankrolling their deaths?
KETCH: I-I'm doing that pro bono.
SAM: Why do you keep asking for Rowena MacLeod?
KETCH: She's a witch, isn't she? Isn't that what we Hunters do? Kill the bad thing?

[in the library, at the table with Sam and Dean’s initials carved in it, Sam finds records for Alexander Ketch. Dean sits in an armchair with a glass of whiskey]
SAM: So... I've dug up a pretty hefty paper trail on Alexander Ketch. Birth certificate, U.S. visa and passport, academic records from Kendricks for Arthur and Alexander.
DEAN: Sam...
SAM: Dean, I went into the hard drive I took from the Brits' U.S. base. There are academic initiation papers drawn up for both Ketches with Alexander's remaining incomplete.
DEAN: Okay, I don't care how good this story looks. I ain't buying it.
SAM: All right. For argument's sake, we know Mom shot Arthur, and we know we dumped his corpse into the waste canal. So even if this is weird, yes, it's weird, but we eat weird every day.
DEAN: Yeah, but there's “Ripley's Believe It or Not!” weird, and then there's weird that's just straight up bull. Now I'm thinking that Ketch weird is door number two.
[Sam closes the laptop and folds his hands, sighing thoughtfully]

[in the room where Ketch is still tied to the chair, Sam drags another chair over to face him and sits. We see Ketch’s ankles are also shackled.]
KETCH: So... even though you and your brother both saw my brother, Arthur, shot point-blank, you still question his demise?
SAM: Yeah. It– it's probably smart to question everything about Arthur Ketch.
KETCH: Probably, yeah. I know I'm still trying to figure him out.
SAM: The Arthur Ketch we knew was sadistic. Amoral, predatory. Loyal to no one.
KETCH: You're wrong there. Not amoral, and actually, loyal to a fault. What you witnessed was an incredibly good company man. Not an easy job.
SAM: Sounds like it would be easier to be “Alexander” than to be Arthur, yeah?
KETCH: To a degree. No glory, yes, but no... burdens either.
SAM: Hmm. You admire him. Maybe, uh, wanted to be like him.
KETCH: Like you, I understood my brother's issues and why he did what he did. I suspect, if he were here, he'd... admit regret to some of the things he did to your family.

[exterior, a playground beside a sandbox, the portal to Heaven, Cas meets with another angel]
CASTIEL: Dumah, thank you for agreeing to meet with me. This is a matter of– of great urgency. It's imperative that I locate Jack.
DUMAH: You mean the nephilim.
CASTIEL: Yes. Do the angels have him?
CASTIEL: Okay, you're certain that he's not maybe sitting in– in Metatron's old cell or–
DUMAH: If we had him, he wouldn't be imprisoned. He would be put to work.
CASTIEL: What do you mean?
DUMAH: Castiel, the angels... Our numbers were greatly diminished after the fall. No one's made new angels since the dawn of creation. We're going extinct. You would need a powerful force to make more of us.
CASTIEL: You mean Jack. Even if he had that power, what makes you think he'd cooperate?
DUMAH: He may not have a choice.
CASTIEL: So you're planning to enslave him for some kind of experiment?
DUMAH: Castiel, he's not your pet. He belongs to all of us.
[Two other angels come through the sandbox portal behind Dumah]
FIRST ANGEL: You did well, Dumah. You delivered him as promised. [to Castiel] We hear you have influence with the nephilim. He'll listen to you.
CASTIEL: No. I will not help you.
FIRST ANGEL: Ever the renegade.
DUMAH: Castiel, please, come with us.
[Dumah takes Cas by the wrist, but Cas resists. He pushes her away, and they both deploy angel blades. Cas fights off all three angels, but Dumah comes up behind him and restrains him with an angel blade to his throat.]
LUCIFER: Drop the blade, Dumah.
[Dumah stares at Lucifer, but continues to hold the blade to Cas’s throat]
LUCIFER: You hesitate? This isn't gonna one of those “make my day” moments, is it? Okay. Buh-bye.
[Lucifer stands up straight and his eyes glow red. Dumah releases Cas and flees back to heaven through the sandbox portal with the other two angels. When they’re gone, Lucifer sits heavily on a bench, coughing and wheezing at the expenditure of power]
CASTIEL: What are you doing back in this world?
LUCIFER: What are you doing alive?
CASTIEL: It's complicated.
LUCIFER: Same here. Obviously, getting here took its toll.
CASTIEL: You're weak.
LUCIFER: Yeah, I'm clearly not myself. But, oh, cowboy, I'm not that weak. And you and I need to talk.
CASTIEL: I have no interest in talking to you. And if this is about your son–
LUCIFER: Okay, I get it, I get it. Custody of my son is a non-starter. But if you can please just shelve the eternal enemies thing for a second, we have a situation. And by “we,” I mean everything alive. We're sorta... all gonna die.


[interior, Nick’s Bar, Cas and Lucifer sit across a table from one another as other patrons play pool]
LUCIFER: Everything I am telling you is true. You were there, man. You saw what that place was like. The Michael I just described to you is responsible for that.
[Cas looks uncomfortable, his eyes everywhere but on Lucifer]
LUCIFER: What? What? What? What? Will you– will you do me a favor and stop looking at the door every five seconds like you wanna get outta here?
CASTIEL: You'll forgive me if I'm a little on edge. The last time we were together, you killed me.
LUCIFER: Well, last time we were together, you stabbed me.
CASTIEL (rolling his eyes and sighing): I'm sorry.
LUCIFER: You wanna dwell on the past? I don't. I'm not myself anyway. What am I gonna do? Okay? Look, it's time to save the world. Be the heroic Castiel instead of the butt of Heaven's joke.
CASTIEL: I am not the b–
LUCIFER: I'm, you know, just sayin'.
CASTIEL: Okay. How do I save the world?
LUCIFER: We. We, save the world.
CASTIEL: Oh, no.
LUCIFER: Yeah, yeah. Look, you protected my son. He trusts you. If you can convince him to be on our team, I think the combined power of the three of us can drive Michael back. I'm telling you, this guy is not the same Michael that we knew. He's much more powerful.
CASTIEL: Okay, if this Michael come–
LUCIFER: Not if. When. When. The guy's on a mission.
CASTIEL: Well, you would seem to be the weak link on this team.
LUCIFER: Okay, that hurt. That... was unnecessary. I'm gonna let it go. Yes, my grace is a little bit depleted, but give me time, man. Work this out with me.
CASTIEL: Hypothetically, um, let's say you're lying, and I help you find your son, and then you kill me again.
LUCIFER: Cut me a little bit of slack. Please? That unhinged thing and that meth head Kevin Tran are about to bust through that door. God isn't here! It's just us.
[Cas sighs deeply]
LUCIFER: We're all we got, in case you hadn't noticed.
CASTIEL: Well, I-I-I have to talk to Sam and Dean.
LUCIFER (groaning and banging his forehead against the table): Why, why, why, why, why, with all their second guessing and their whining? This is an emergency, Castiel, and all they're gonna wanna do is– is put me back in the Cage.
CASTIEL: That's all I want.
LUCIFER: But right now, you need me, I need you, and we both need my son. Look, not changing the subject, but we'll get back to it. I just wanna ask you, how did you hide him so well? I mean, I tried to get a bead
on him, and no bueno.
CASTIEL: Jack. Your son's name is Jack.
LUCIFER: Jack. Wow. Is he... [Chuckles] awesome? I mean, is he a chip off the old block?
CASTIEL: Thankfully, no. No, he seems to favor the mother.
LUCIFER: All right, that's nothing that we can't fix. But seriously, I mean, why can't I... you know, detect a presence?
CASTIEL: I don't know. He...
LUCIFER: He is okay, though, right?
CASTIEL: Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
LUCIFER: Well, you don't sound sure. Is he– is he nearby?
LUCIFER: Somewhere more distant?
CASTIEL: Yes, more that.
LUCIFER: Oh, my Dad. You have no idea where he is.

[A collection of phones charging in the bunker library, labeled FBI, CIA, etc. The FBI phone rings, and Dean answers, moving toward the table to jot down notes, while Sam sits at the table with his laptop]
DEAN: Hello? Yes, this is Agent Russell. I did give you my card, yeah. Really? What kind of questions? Okay, and when was this? What did he look like? Yeah, no, we will check into it. Thank you very much.
[Dean hangs up]
SAM: What was that all about?
DEAN: That was a manager at the Stampede Motel, place we stayed in– in Dodge City.
SAM: Right.
DEAN: Guess his front desk clerk went missing right after some dude showed up asking questions about Jack.
SAM: You get a name?
DEAN: Nope. But... from his description? Evil Colonel Sanders. [Sam raises an eyebrow, apparently not understanding Dean, so Dean clarifies] Asmodeus.
SAM: Tracking Jack.
DEAN: Yeah, which means he's two steps behind him, which means we need to find him fast.
KETCH (wandering into the library, handcuffed but eating a sandwich): I should say.
DEAN (to Sam): What the hell is this?
SAM: He's in chains. There's no bathroom in the armory. And he hadn't eaten in, like, a day and a half.
DEAN: Do I look like I care?
KETCH: Judging by your rage, my brother must've behaved very badly. I understand your mother is the one who killed him?
DEAN: And he had it coming, after what he did to her.
KETCH: Hmm. And how is she now?
DEAN: She's good. [to Sam] Would you put him back? Hmm?

[Sam clears his throat, shuts his laptop, and gets up to escort Ketch out of the library. Dean dials his phone. Cas answers, having left Lucifer’s table for privacy. He’s standing by the “Gents” door in Nick’s Bar]
DEAN (over the phone): Cas, any news on Jack? We need to find him fast.
CASTIEL: Nothing yet, but... interesting things are happening. We...
DEAN: What?
CASTIEL (noticing Lucifer is standing beside him): Yes, [cut to the bunker, as Dean makes a face of surprise and confusion as Cas suddenly changes subject] I would like to see you, too, the sooner the better.
LUCIFER: Cas? You know, smooth was never your strong suit.
[Lucifer grabs the phone from Cas and disconnects the call, walking back to the table]

[in the bunker library]
SAM: What's up?
DEAN: Something didn't seem right.
SAM: I'll track his phone. Let's go.
KETCH: Yes, let's.
DEAN: No. No, you are not a part of “let's” M–

[exterior, night, the Impala rumbles down the highway toward Cas’s location, as Sam tracks it on his phone]
DEAN: Man, I hate the idea of Ketch on his own in the bunker.
SAM: He's locked up tight. Not going anywhere.
DEAN: Yeah. How we looking? You still got a lock on Cas's signal?
SAM: Sure do. I nailed down his location. He's not much further, so... Don't worry. You did tell him not to do anything stupid.
DEAN: Right. When's the last time that's worked?

[back at Nick’s bar with Lucifer and Cas, they’re now sitting at the bar, Blues Are Turning Black by Stephen Emil Dudas plays in the background]
LUCIFER: It's bad enough the Winchesters were babysitting my son, but then they managed to lose him? With Heaven, Hell, and everything in between hunting him down?
CASTIEL: In their defense, they were doing their best to educate him.
LUCIFER: About what?! What could they possibly know about an entity like Jack? About his potential?
CASTIEL: Well, having seen it firsthand, they know that his potential needs to be carefully channeled.
LUCIFER: Really? Kid's a bruiser, huh? [He laughs] Come on, man, let me have this a little bit. Just– just tell me one thing. Did he hurt 'em? Did they suffer just a little bit? I...
[Thunder and lightning flashes as Asmodeus and his entourage of demons enter the bar]
LUCIFER: Hey, man.
ASMODEUS: “Lord Lucifer.”
LUCIFER: Lil' Asmodeus. My onetime stooge. Runt of the litter. Uh, dimmest bulb in the string, et cetera, et cetera. I see you must've taken over Crowley's spot? Yeah. That's okay. You can stand down now. Skipper's back. [Lucifer pounds his fist on the bar]
ASMODEUS: Well, here's the thing, Lou. I'm real satisfied with my current position. Hell is humming along quite nicely, thank you. But I do hope you and your little lap angel will pay me a visit.
LUCIFER: Yes, well... see, that's the thing. We're all booked up, buddy.
ASMODEUS: Oh, I won't take “no” for an answer.
LUCIFER: Now you know better than to screw with me, Asmodeus.
ASMODEUS: Oh, I knew better than to screw with the old you. But this new version seems a little more... screwable.
[Lucifer shrugs, inflating his chest as his eyes glow red.]
LUCIFER (whispers): So help me.
ASMODEUS: Aw, please.
[Asmodeus holds his fingers up in what resembles bull horns, and flicks out his fingers, knocking Lucifer and Castiel across the bar]

[exterior, the Impala pulls up outside Nick’s Bar. The sign out front flickers and then goes out. The building is dark, and Sam and Dean enter with flashlights and weapons drawn]
DEAN: There's nobody here.
[Dean is attacked by somebody]
[A fight ensues, where Asmodeus’s demons attack Sam and Dean with angel blades. Dean drops his gun and pulls his own angel blade from inside his coat. They’re still outnumbered, but thanks to a shocking surprise save from Ketch, they manage to kill the demons]
SAM (to Ketch): H-how did you get out of the armory? Y-y-you...chains...
KETCH: Lock pick. If you'd done the prescribed cavity search, as you should've, you'd have found it. I, uh, grabbed some weapons from your toy box and a motorcycle from your garage, et voilà. What's become of your angel?
[Dean coolly raises his gun and points it at Ketch]
DEAN: Not sure. But I am sure about you, Arthur.


[picks up exactly where Act IV left off, with Sam stepping to Dean’s side and facing off against Ketch]
DEAN: You know, I gotta hand it to you. That paper trail you cooked up, pretty impressive. But my gut told me it was baloney. Looks like my gut was right. See, I've been in it with you, Arthur. I've seen your moves. We've gone toe-to-toe. And I saw that look in your eye when you asked about our mom. So why don't you cut the crap?
KETCH: Actually, everything I told you is true. Well, except for the, uh, twin brother thing. I am separated from the British Men of Letters, lying low because they will kill me for desertion. I make a rather good living as a sort of soldier of fortune, deep underground, for a certain sort of clientele who appreciate my skill set. And I do use the name “Alexander”.
SAM: How is it you're still alive?
KETCH: I believe you're familiar with the witch Rowena MacLeod?
KETCH: She was captured by the British Men of Letters some years back. I discovered she'd sewn a powerful charm into her body that could bring her back should she be killed. I struck a deal wherein she did the same for me in return for allowing her to escape.
SAM: So after we dumped your body, you–
KETCH: Good as new. Only problem is, one the device is used, it needs to be recharged.
DEAN: Which is why you're hunting for Rowena. Well, sorry. Lucifer burned her up. She's dead.
KETCH: Is she?
DEAN: Why'd you come here? You could've run.
KETCH: Did it ever occur to you, Dean, that I might actually be one of the good guys?
DEAN: No. Not even once.
KETCH: You and I were soldiers in opposing armies who were at war.
DEAN: Well, the thing about war is, one side wins.
KETCH: I suppose you're right.
[Ketch throws a flash-bang-smoke bomb down and makes a run for it, barricading the door to the bar, slowing Sam and Dean down just long enough to make his escape on the motorcycle.]

[A telephone resting beside a candle rings, the call is from Dean]
ASMODEUS (impersonating Cas): Hello, Dean.
DEAN: Cas? Hey. Are you okay? We– we– we tried to track you down, but you were gone. We ran into a bunch of demons. What's– what's happening?
ASMODEUS: I'm sorry. I'm fine. I tried to call and warn you, but couldn't get a signal.
DEAN: Okay, well, what's going on?
ASMODEUS: I'm following a very interesting lead. I'll fill you in when I know more. See you soon, Dean.
[Asmodeus hangs up, and turns to his demon minion, while we see that Cas and Lucifer are being held behind prison bars]
ASMODEUS (in his normal voice): As I was sayin', I'm a collector. I like to be prepared. Lucifer could be useful. Castiel is a card to play if the Winchesters get out of line. And if there's any truth to the story that a new version of Michael is comin', I will definitely need that nephilim.
[The camera shifts, and we see that Asmodeus is actually talking to Ketch, and we finally get the “deep underground clientele” Ketch had been describing]
KETCH: You really needn't worry.